New here

[Caithnessman]

Hi everyone. Just found the website after someone posted the link on the nhs website. Thought I'd post a bit about myself and my symptoms see if anyone has anything similar.

Bit about my background in sorry it's long. I'm a 29 year old married man with a 3 year old girl. I've for a long time been a primary career for long periods o time and I also work full time. My wife had kidney failure in 2005 and went on dialysis at home till transplant, we sailed through that with no major complications, in 2007 we got pregnant with triplets. The twins died after 15 weeks and after 28 weeks we had a emergency delievery were Isabella was born. That was long and I noticed I was eating and eating and couldn't stop. Anyway in. August 2010 my wife had a stroke and at same time found out we were pregnant again with twins. For my wife's health we had to have a termination. Hardest thing ever! At the same time we started getting gangs of youths hanging around by the house and a few windows broken as I went out and confronted them. From that point I started having really bad chest pains and sleepless nights, tired all the time and eating all the time. Since then I can't settle sand watch tele as every noise heard outside in straight upstairs stirring out the window for anyone about. I felt really low and my confidence dropped to an al time low as I was feeling an am fat and useless. Can't protect my family etc.

Recently this year I started having an itch around my groin area and inside me. I have also started having diarrhea all the time. I have been the doctors and even tested for everything fom stds to chrons disease. Everything was negative and normal. He has now after having a serious chat with me told me I have ibs and anxiety/stress issues. I'm waiting an appointment to speak to a therapist and he hasn't have me a tablets. I'm going nuts with phantom itches etc and when im at home I shake physically like my nervous have gone. I've also shaved of my public hair recently as I convinced myself there itching me.

Sorry for the long blog. Anyone having similar? It's driving me insane and ringing my life.

Mark

[horses]

hi mark, first of all,your not fat and useless! you have been through so much,I have had the same,although pain the same,different things,just know you are really stong and you have done so well when other people would have crumbled well before now, bless you, its not your fault there are idiots out there,sounds like you do a good job protecting your loved ones by being a nice person, just know your intelligent and caring, "ignorance is bliss" is a true saying, if youre "thick" life is a ball, takes intelligent caring people to think, and sometimes too much, instead of thinking "what if", think "so what!", hope your ok

[hedgecrone]

You have been through so much - more than some people get in a lifetime. No wonder you are stressed and anxious. And I recognise this so well. I suffer from anxiety and at the moment I have been diagnosed with fibroids and I'm 58 - normally they appear in younger women so naturally I am terrified that it's cancer. My mother died of cancer aged 66 which is much to young and I don't want to go the same way. I and my husband brought up a disabled child (rare disability) - she was our second, dearly loved but there were so many serious problems all through her life that I found it hard to cope with the anxiety at times. Now she's grown up and living independently with a lovely man, but my anxiety of other things has increased rather than lessened and I find it hard to cope with. At the moment I can't eat or function.

None of that is anything to do with you and i feel guilty for going on about it when you have such anguish in your life. You are clearly a loving, gentle and sensitive person trying to deal with a huge amount of stress and worry. Anyone would feel as you do but few would cope as well as you are, even though you are feeling awful. I think therapy/ counselling sounds an excellent idea -I am sure it will help you cope and I hope you don't have to wait too long for it. Hang in there.

[Hidden]

Welcome Mark. Agree with 'horses' here. Please don't think of yourself as fat and useless. You sound like a good person who loves and wants to protect his family. Just remember they will always think you are a good person. Stress and anxiety are horrible things and they can make you feel awful in all sorts of ways - one of the biggest things is feeling you are letting others down, most of us feel this for lots of different reasons.

Please remember it is the stress that is making you feel like this and hopefully in due course you will get better, whether it is through medication/therapy or natural remedies.

Keep talking to your family and reassure them that you are determined to get the help you need to improve your current situation. It is when you don't talk that things get tricky.

You have had such a bad time recently you would have a heart of stone if it had not affected you in some way.

Keep strong and wishing you lots of luck. Karen

[dorset]

hi mark, i think you should be very proud of how much you have helped your family and others,and now its time for you to have help,i also think if poss you should move house as this would make you feel more secure.good luck.

[Caithnessman]

Thanks for the replies it's nice to know what others think. I'm trying everyday to continue but it is a struggle. I have therapy with inclusion matters on Wednesday 16th so hopefully this will be the road to recovery now and I'll start feeling better. Thanks for the support

Mark

[milo1]

HI HOW YOU FEELING good luck with your therapy tomorrow take all the help you can get x

[Caithnessman]

I felt fine this morning woke up and had no pain around groin area, no ibs symptoms and no chest pains. Started work again fine however I was concentrating on why I was feeling fine and if I can feel any pains etc creeping in. Well after obsessing with that for about an hour in work I'm now in pain and ibs has kicked off. I just can't focus and forget about these things until there back then they make me want to just cut them out of me and cry. I'm meant to be a 29 year old dad and a professional. I don't know what to do anymore I got therapy tommoro so will explain Thr feelings to them but everyday it's grinding me down.

I might go the hospital and ask them to run more tests just incase. I know 2 months ago they were all negative but tests an be wrong.