Will I ever overcome my Anxiety?

From past 5 years I'm having Social Anxiety.I tried my best to overcome it, but it's not as easy as it seems.

Worst part is nobody even understands what I'm going through, I've noone with whom I can share how it feels .

Due to anxiety I even left my job, I'm at home from past 2 years.

I'm really so scared of people, I can't go out of my home, can't talk to anyone, Even daily task that may seems easier to others is so overwhelming for me.

I always want to stay hidden.

Coz of my anxiety I've lost my social life.

I've zero friends, I don't even use social media it's so disturbing for me. Life seems like hell. The more I try to get out the more I dwell into it. Now I've no idea will I ever overcome it or I've to make it part of my life.

[Agora1]

Hi Lonelysoul35...Let me be your ray of sunshine and hope in gaining control over

your social anxiety. I too was like you at the age of 16 thru 21. Very few people during

those ages know who they are and can be intimidated by their peers.

We go from being cared for by guardians or parents and then made to fly on our own.

A scary situation indeed when we are not sure where we are going. We do not have

the self esteem or confidence yet with life experiences behind us.

Socializing is a part of our growing and maturing experience. Exposure to people is

the only way we can grow. The more we stay home and hide, the longer this feeling

can last.

I felt I had no real friends either. After all, who wants to hear the same story over and

over. The general public does not understand. There's no cast on our body, no bandages,

nothing to show anyone where it hurts. After a while, we can start to feel that loneliness

in no one understanding or maybe not caring.

It's a real issue, not made up by a physical ailment but a mental disorder.

You CAN and you WILL one day overcome or at least have control over your Social Anxiety.

It doesn't have to be a life time sentence. Continue coming onto this site. Listen to the

posts and responses of others having gone through the same thing. Take what you need

and delete the rest. So much to say, so little room to write. It's going to be okay.

Don't lose hope. You're young and have so much life to experience. My best xx

[Hidden in reply to Agora1]

Hey Agora, Thanks for such kind words. It feels good to hear it.People neglect anxiety like it's not a big deal, My near ones always say it's just in my head, I wish they could understand how serious it is and how terrifying it can be. Hope someday It'll get better!

[Agora1 in reply to Hidden]

You can get better in time. Lonelysoul35. Medication and Talk Therapy can help

by stopping the cycle of anxiety and stress ruminating in your mind. When I was

your age, I found ways to work around my social fears. I found for myself, that working

with an employment agency helped me not be tied down to one company. I worked

outside my home on my terms whether it be a few days a week or several weeks in

a row. Being a temp allowed me to not have to interact with others. After all I was

there to do a job and then leave onto the next assignment. If I needed to call in sick,

I could by being covered by other temporary workers (although I never needed to)

The exposure to different companies also gave me the opportunity in finding what

I wanted to get into. Each job was an experience which I was able to put on my

resume. After a year, I landed into a position that I never thought possible.

Front desk registrar which involved interacting with hundreds of people each week.

My boss at the time had me attend some of the social interacting meetings where I

picked up on my social skills. Long and short of it, was a job I will long remember as the

time I finally climbed out of my shell and took it on full time. lol

Never give up Lonelysoul and most of all believe in yourself and that this can happen

for you as well. We're here to take those steps forward with you. xx

[Hidden in reply to Agora1]

Thanks for sharing your story with me, it really helps to motivate and take a step forward. I always try my best not to give up but still there are some days when I feel like everything is drowning, I just want to disappear. Those feelings are so scary.

I try some medication and yoga to control anxiety, hope one day those feelings will disappear and I can do all the things I wanted to do.

[Agora1 in reply to Hidden]

It will happen when the time is right for you. xx

[Sparrow58]

Hi I have anxiety too. I am in the UK and I self referred to Talking Therapy, I did an online course and that seems to be helping a bit. The one thing I did find that helped was doing a task list everyday which would include what was suggested by the therapy. It is quite a good feeling setting a small goal then being able to tick it off when done. Take care of yourself.

[Hidden in reply to Sparrow58]

Hey Sparrow58, I hope you doing well. Yes, small step a day can make a lot of changes. I've a journal book in which I write my day to day activities, It helps me alot .

[designguy]

Hello LonelySoul, I dealt with social anxiety for years without knowing what was really going on for me but have healed it.

My suggestion is to find a therapist that specifically treats social anxiety and work with them if you can, they typically use exposure and group therapy as part of their process. If the isn't one available near you, you might try online programs and even check out youtube for videos/information about it. i did an online program from the socialanxietyinstitute.org which was helpful although I would have preferred an in-person group. You might also check out Sebastiaan at Social Anxiety Solutions on youtube, his program looks very good also. You can also check out my recent post on Coping With Anxiety for info on dealing with anxiety in general that is all applicable also to social anxiety.

Social anxiety comes from your learning and believing things about yourself that aren't true and distorts your perceptions of how people see you and how you see them. You may have had instances where you were called out or bullied or some other kind of event when you were young and now you think everyone is hyperfocused on you and judging you all the time which is no longer true. The reality is that they aren't and are too caught up in their own lives. You may also be suffering from shame and low-self-worth and have difficulty validating yourself which can feed the social anxiety. There is a lot of good info on youtube about healing self-worth.

What also really helped me was realizing one day at work that people really did like me and enjoyed my company when I had thought the opposite for years. It takes commitment and determination but you can heal and recover from social anxiety if you are willing to face your fears of which you will find are not all that big after all.

[Hidden in reply to designguy]

Hi designguy, Thanks for sharing info m gonna check it out. This really gonna help me.I know the reason of my anxiety but seems like nothing is in my control. I always tell myself that I'll change myself and will do better but end up being even worse. I'm really scared of people judgment, I always feel like they all are talking bad about me. And coz of this feeling I isolate myself, I know that they all have their own problems and they're busy with themselves but still I can't control myself by thinking negative all day. Whenever I step outside my home I start sweating, my heartbeat is not in my control. I really can't explain this feeling.

I want to consult a psychiatrist but no I can't coz my family don't understand my anxiety, and I can't even go for a job. I went for few interviews and even got selected but after few days at work my anxiety screwed up everything . So I have to leave it, I don't even earn otherwise I would have consult a psychiatrist.

I really want all this to go away but no it's not as easy as I think. Still I try n try everyday in hope of something better.

[designguy in reply to Hidden]

My suggestion is that you spend time on the web and youtube and learn everything about healing social anxiety, it's free and won't cost you anything. The more you learn and educate yourself about it the more you understand what's going on for you and it helps decrease the fear about it. At some point you have to decide that you matter and are worth the effort to have a fulfilling life and commit to healing your social anxiety with or without your family's blessing. And be aware that most people who don't have social anxiety have no idea what it is or like to have it and can't be of any help or support.

[Hidden in reply to designguy]

Yes I watch videos on YouTube about social Anxiety and it's healing process, I helps me alot.I even read some books, Write down my feelings on note, this all helps a Lil bit to ease my overthinking.

From this group also I'm getting to learn so many things.

[designguy in reply to Hidden]

Good, keep going, it's worth it.

[Renizzle2023]

Hey, I’m also working on social anxiety. It’s improving but that takes a lot of effort on my part doing hard things and putting myself in situations instead of avoiding.

For me the feeling of being watched is very difficult. I remember in my parents backyard, I knew all the spots where I could be out of the line of sight of all the neighbors windows. Doing anything in public is hard. But like I said, it’s improving because I’m making efforts to do it anyway.

Like today, I sat outside by the apartment pool to enjoy the sunshine. The pool is right next to the road so there is absolutely no privacy. Normally I would avoid it. But I’m working on getting used to just being somewhere and being ok with being visible. So I will work up to being comfortable by the pool, and one day actually go for a swim and be ok with it. Seems like small potatoes but this is a big deal for me.

Hopefully you can find challenges like this to start taking small steps with. All the best.

[Hidden in reply to Renizzle2023]

Thanks for sharing your story Renizzle2023I also always hide myself in a room with closed curtains so no neighbours can see me, sometimes when I go to balcony to get some fresh air, If I feel like someone is watching me I immediately come inside room and close all the curtains.

But as you said taking a small step, I too try to take small steps so that slowly I can overcome anxiety. I go outside sometimes and try to not panic even though if someone comes there and talk with me, It scares me alot but still I'm trying 🙂

[Renizzle2023 in reply to Hidden]

Small steps, a little at a time, and good for you for trying. Like my therapist says, easy does it.

[Hidden in reply to Renizzle2023]

Yeah