Hi, I'm new here and quite worried about sharing this as I know there will be lots of opinions. Basically I've always been a worrier, for as long as I can remember. It seems that I worry about what might happen all the time, when actually I picture worst case scenario and that never happens. I sometimes feel like because I expect something to happen, I'll not change what I can do in the present because I know the inevitable is going to happen anyway... does that make sense?
Well my anxiety has gone through the roof of late. In March I was out on a stag do and did a STUPID thing... as a bet, I went into a shop after drinking and nicked something. I don't know why I did it, it stupidly seemed a good idea at the time of drinking. I then got arrested and taken back to the station where I had to answer questions etc etc. The police officer asked my address, and so I thought because I was about to move in with my boyfriend anyway, I'd give his address- not even thinking the address would not match the current address on the driving license. Because I gave a different address, she said she couldn't just give me an £80 fine, I'd have to be given a caution- something which would always appear on a CRB. I work in a profession where I will always need an enhanced CRB, so this STUPID mistake will always show up.
Ever since this stupid stupid incident, I keep thinking back to that day, what if I'd just stayed where I was? What if I'd given the address that was on my driving license? What if I hadn't gone out? My mind is completely overwhelmed with these thoughts and I can't seem to ever shake them off. Even though my manager is fine with what happened, I keep thinking, she's only saying that, she wants to get rid of me etc etc.
I can't even bear to listen to the radio because I hear songs that remind me of the event. I'm just so scared, it's all I think about, it's becoming an obsession and now I feel like I count the days left before I can retire... I just wish I could hide somewhere, I'm so ashamed
Thanks for reading, I hope some of you can relate to my anxiety