Looking for advice

[Keep_Going]

I was invited to my husbands cousins wife’s baby shower. Let’s call her Sally….

so sally and I never talk, not even when we are together with the families. I would say we are acquaintances at best. When she got married, I was not invited to the bridal shower or anything but now she invites me to the baby shower?

is it bad that I don’t want to go?

my anxiety and depression have been so bad lately and I know going to this baby shower won’t help. I won’t know anyone other than my husband mom and aunt. If Sally and I actually talked to each other and all I would be fine with it but all we do is say hi to each other when we are together and that’s it.

Am I a bad person for not wanting to go?

[kenster1]

I`d go show face and just sit with your husband and be chatty to her if she approaches you nothing lost nothing gained if she doesn`t.

[Keep_Going in reply to kenster1]

Unfortunately he’s not invited…

[kenster1 in reply to Keep_Going]

ok sorry just because you mentioned him mom and aunt.

[Keep_Going in reply to kenster1]

sorry that was a typo. Meant to say my husband’s mom and aunt

[kenster1 in reply to Keep_Going]

could be the start of a better relationship between you.

[Xene]

If you don’t want to go don’t go. However if you’re going to beat yourself up afterwards for not going then go.

[b1b1b1]

To me it's not whether you go or not, but whether you bring a present and how much money you spend on it. I wonder why she isn't more friendly toward you. It is a bit odd that she didn't invite you to her bridal shower and not does invite you to the baby shower. I guess if it were me I would go, bring a moderate cost present and see what happens.

[Keep_Going in reply to b1b1b1]

yeah it’s weird that I was invited to the baby shower but not the bridal shower. Doesn’t make sense to me. Regardless I will give her a gift but I’m worried if I go then it’ll be awkward and i won’t be happy.

[EnidABlyton]

Sometimes it’s the events that you’re not looking forward to that you enjoy the most.

[Jstbcuz]

No your not a bad person. I wouldn't go, especially since you weren't invited to the bridal shower. Do what's good for you and leave it at that. You are your priority, not them. You shouldn't have to answer to anyone for not going. No means no. Don't put yourself through it. Don't feel guilty and stand up for yourself. You don't have to do anything for anyone. People who don't suffer from anxiety just don't understand. If they don't like it that you didn't come, too bad. Send a card in the mail with a gift card if you feel you need to contribute. Otherwise take care of you and let's this stuff go. It's anxiety provoking, you deserve to do what you want.

[Keep_Going in reply to Jstbcuz]

thank you! That really made me feel better about the whole situation!

[Keep_Going]

a whole lot of anxiety for sure! I feel that it’s unnecessary anxiety that I don’t need

[Keep_Going]

thank you! It’s nice to hear that people understand how bad depression and anxiety can really get sometimes

[Katie55]

I have promised myself that I am going to say NO and not go to events that I don’t want to go to

This weekend I was supposed to go and stay with my dearest friends for the weekend…

I rang and said I could lie and claim to be I’ll but said I want to be honest and say that I need a duvet day / weekend

I felt good for being honest and they were very understanding and nice about it

A weekend of rest peace and quiet has really done me some good

[Keep_Going]

if anyone was looking for an update, I actually ended up sick so I didn’t go to the shower. I texted and sent a nice apology and got “thanks feel better.” As a text back. So of course I sent a gift to their house since I didn’t go to the shower. It’s been a month since the gift was delivered and I have not gotten a thank you card or even a thank you text….

[SCC1 in reply to Keep_Going]

Hi. I'm sorry to hear you didn't get any response; I think that is very rude. I feel slighted too, when I am treated unkindly or don't get a reply from someone, especially when I have done something nice for them. IMO, I would not put in anymore time and "effort" for these people. If they can't be respectful to you, there is no need for you to do so.

[Keep_Going in reply to SCC1]

yeah I agree. I mean I’ll be friendly when I see them but that’s the most I can do. It’s not worth my time and effort to be nice to them when they don’t care about me at all