Relationship Advice ? Anxious

Hi.

I wanted some advice. I'm naturally a private person, but I'll say my dilemma in a nutshell. First , I wanted to state ..ALL of my relationships in the past went sour. I went through infidelity ( only one ex ) , betrayal, lies , neglect , & abuse. Even after all of this , I still stand , with my guard up , but optimistic that there's love out there. I do have trouble expressing myself. I have such a tough exterior but on the inside , as sweet as pie lol. I've only recently come face to face , with my past. I'm getting through the emotional scars & letting them heal finally. It's not an overnight emotional process , but when I'm finished & healed , I know I'll be overwhelmingly happy.

For my dilemma, I met this guy & we are great together. We have been dating for 3 1/2 months thus far . The chemistry is like a slow burning flame. It's amazing . He listens , he's sweet , he lets me vent . I am getting feelings for him. But , my anxiety has me scared..& while he's been amazing, I've been doing things to try & push him away. He's even called me out on that once . I think I messed up for real though. He's getting tired of me always wanting to leave or back out of dating him ..I've only expressed that I'm unsure of how he feels about me. But something tells me that's my anxiety talking . I want to be his girlfriend..I want to continue dating him & build something with him. I feel like he's that guy , that man I could do that with. These kind of feelings are overwhelming to me, however. I'm so used to being hurt , like it's all I know. But I've recently let myself know , through some cleansing period , I had, reflecting on things..that I am worth love..I am a beautiful woman inside & out. I STILL have anxiety when it comes to trusting men , however.

I messed things up recently , sending him texts that were honestly petty . I have to learn to be open with him & my Self. Well, the texts were misinterpreted & we got into a fight. I've asked for a chance to explain everything & profess my feelings to him & im soooooo anxious y'all lol ..I don't want to get tongue tied. He means a bunch to me. Well the advice , what are ways I could let go of my anxiety & take this leap of faith in a new relationship with him ? I know I should be open & honest when I see him in person , & explain EVERYTHING. I don't want him to feel like he's not doing enough , when he is , plus I haven't given him a chance to show me anything . I suck :/ ..oh & he's been hurt also ..so thought I'd mention that. But , I look at it like , we'd both be healing energy to each other , from our tarnished pasts . That would be such a powerfully liberating & loving thing & would make our bond stronger . I only hope he replies to my messages or calls me back & gives us a chance to meet up & talk . Well any advice would be great, on how to over come relationship anxiety.. & I'll update on how things go , if I'm given a chance to tlk with him lol :)

11 Replies

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  • HI Hippie, first thing do not send petty texts, he can look at them all the tlme, just send him one and tell him you miss him,dont go overboard with lovey dovey!!!!! see what he says, then if that does not work, always!!!! remember, it is a big ocean and lots of fish in the sea, if he has feelings for you he will get in touch, good luck xxx

  • Thank you!! I'm hoping he does . I've been alone , I know in my heart he's special . So I think sending a positive txt , then leaving it at that would wrk .. I agree.

  • let me how you get on, hope everything goes ok xx

  • Just very briefly Hippee, the old fashioned way of "talking" is always the best. Face to face even better. There's plenty of time for you both so what is the rush. All relationships have their ups and downs and that's why my advice is to sit together, talk through things and just see where it takes the pair of you. Good luck.

  • Aw thank you for your kind words ๐Ÿ’ž I hope he gives me , well us a chance to talk things out. This is the most honest I've been with myself or any guy. I hope we can at least talk. I agree . These phones are crap lol a nice talk in person would be great. I'll update you all on things. Thanks for reading my post..I've been such a depressed crybaby ..waiting for his reply but I have to keep busy until he's ready to tlk to me. I hate that I've been listening to Adele through all of this lol anyways thanks again for the advice ๐Ÿ’ž๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š

  • Was it Adeles25 new album by any chance ? Is it as good as her others?

  • Oh I have songs from "19" & "21" ..lol I only heard Hello from her new album ..I'm going to listen to the new one later on .

  • I've not heard her new album yet so I'd be interested in what you think.

  • She's excellent her new song is amazing so relaxing

  • Sooooo we're talking things out. Thanks for the advice guys๐Ÿ’ž๐Ÿ’ž. I had to practice patience , despite me being pessimistic . Like my anxiety was crazy , my thoughts were negative . Then I remembered that I'm finally trying to heal from my past relationships & change me whole way of thinking into something positive. I did reach out , even though I got no reply until now ..I was persistent . My texts went from me being negative , which got us to the fighting , into me being positive. I'm all about healing & bringing healing energy to us ..I think it's rubbing off on him too. :) we're talking things out ..baby steps in a nice direction . ๐Ÿ’ž๐Ÿ’ž๐Ÿ’ž๐Ÿ˜Š

  • Good luck good things come to us who wait x

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