I have written on here so many times about this one guy friend of mine. For those that haven't heard this story, I'll tell it short. Basically a year ago I met this guy in one of my classes, we became friends, talked all through the summer. When classes started again we remained friends, even had two days a week scheduled where we'd sit at a picnic table for like 2 hours between classes and just talk.
We went to a football game together and a movie and got coffee. That sort of thing.
I thought maybe he liked me. I definitely liked him.
This semester we got really close. I've had some very difficult things happen in my life and he's really been there for me. He's just been an amazing friend, even initiated hanging out which he hadn't before.
But in that hang out session, he let slip that he had almost gotten serious with a girl in December. The fact that he did that and also was telling me about it, well that tells you all you need to know about his feelings towards me.
I ended up texting him later, basically saying the way we talk to each other is inappropriate if he's talking to someone. He said he wasn't talking to anyone and since he wasn't, felt like he could start being a better friend towards me. Hence the increase in affection towards me.
But he also said he wanted the hang out session to become a weekly thing. So now once a week, we get coffee and go somewhere and talk. Just the two of us.
I do like him. Romantically. And sometimes it seems like he likes me too? But then he does some stuff that indicates maybe not.
Like he'll tell me he cares about me and that he'd cry if he lost me, then later on make a quip about how we won't continue talking after graduating college.
Let me just tell you things he's done that indicate something: he walked a mile in freezing weather at 2am to where I live just to go and sit in a park, by ourselves and talk, he gets coffee with me every Friday, he said he'd cry if something happened to me (he's told me before nothing ever makes him cry) and has had nightmares about things happening to me, he's told me he cares deeply about me, pays for my coffee and other food we get on our Friday hang outs (he rarely used to do that and would ask me to pay him back if he did), he drove in icy conditions just to make our weekly hangout happen, we have deep conversations about love and marriage and feelings etc.
And like this summer I'm going abroad for a month. With my other friends I know they'll be here when I get back but him? I'm not sure. I mean our friendship did survive last summer, where we never saw each other in person and we weren't half as close as we are now, but still.
I'm just like...am I setting myself up to get hurt? I mean he could easily get a girlfriend and I get hurt. Or even if he doesn't, once we graduate and he never talks to me again? Hurt.
I'm trying so hard to enjoy it now and live in the moment but I have a hard time.
Any comments on my situation or tips. Anything.