Its me

[Pizzaparty]

All my issues start with me of course .. i just don’t know how to be emotionally selfish and why i am always worried about what people think of me , i claim most times that I don’t care but i do, i just really don’t want to care , i also wish i knew why other peoples opinions of me bother me ? Particularly those closest to me... i focus too often on irrelevant things, im jealous of my friends and that disgusts me , not to be confused im very happy for them and proud, but i get in my feelings wondering why things seem to go well for them and not me ? Why then am I always making it about me? They’ve found new relationships and im single but clearly I don’t even know how to consider a healthy friendship to them or to myself, I consider that I don’t show enough self love to me but is that really the underlying answer?

[hypercat54]

Hi I suspect you have been taught to be a 'people pleaser' and that other people's feeling matter more than your own. Am I close? Looking after your own emotional needs isn't being emotionally selfish but rather a vital part of living a happy and fulfilling life. If you are happier then those around you automatically become happier too.Your feeling and emotions are your guide to what you want in life but if they are not understood or you don't know how to regulate them you will feel lost and lonely.

I could be wrong so forgive me if I am but I can relate to this as I have problems relating to my feelings and I came across 'Childhood Emotional Neglect' online. This isn't to do with what happened in your childhood but what failed to. If you were never validated as a child you tend to bury your own needs beneath those of others.

CEN opened a whole new understanding for me and I hope it can help you too.

[FearIsALiar]

You’re definitely not alone! I feel the same way as you. I get super jealous of those who don’t deal with mental illness like I do. Their lives seem so perfect! I know people deal with other things but life seems so easy and perfect without mental illness.

Don’t stress too much about being in a relationship. I’m guessing your young anyway and you have time. It’s definitely best not to rush into those things. Just because everyone else is doing it doesn’t mean you should! I wish I knew before getting into a relationship that I need to love myself before loving someone else!