I feel like nothing ever goes my way.

[DemureRose]

Last hear, I wrote a long post describing how anxious I was about my junior prom.

I am not a sociable person and the entire idea of prom was beyond stressful. But my friends begged me to come and I couldn’t think of a good excuse out of it, so I went.

It ended up definitely not being fun but not being as awful as I had thought.

This year however, my best friend, we’ll call her Hope, (only friend I’m really close to) made plans with one of our more distant friends, we’ll call her Sarah, and then added me to the plan as an afterthought.

I had been looking forward to us two going to eat dinner by ourselves and having a genuinely nice night. Hope apparently didn’t feel the same way.

I dreaded and dreaded prom, but then covid hit. One of the only positive things that came out of covid was the cancellation of prom, or at least of the cancellation of the original plans.

When they finally gave us a new date, I thought “yes! Maybe we can do something different.” So I proposed to Hope and Sarah the idea of going to a fancy restaurant that had a beautiful balcony that overlooked a nearby town. I thought it would be a new, memorable idea.

Sarah and Hope seemed to like the idea, but Sarah asked if one of her friends could join us too. I agreed because this other girl is really nice and while we’re not friends, we do know each other.

However, a few weeks before prom, I get a message from Sarah saying basically “sorry but so and so wants to eat here and she’s already started making plans so is it okay if we go there instead?” What do I say to that? No? If I said no it would mean Sarah felt pressured to ditch her own friends and hang out with us.

Now, we are going to a tiny cafe near our school that we go to ALL THE TIME and it’s been rented out by only Sarah’s friends. No other group but hers. So it’s going to be full of all of these people who I don’t know and who I’m not friends with and me being socially awkward and having social anxiety, It’s not looking positive.

Because what generally happens even when it’s just me, Hope and Sarah is I end up the third wheel because I can’t always relate to what they’re talking about. That’s with two people who are some of my closest friends. Let alone in a room full of strangers.

And I know I don’t have anything in common with them because when I was 14 I stopped being close friends with Sarah because I couldn’t ever have good conversations with her and her friends.

I’m just regretting even agreeing to go, because I wouldn’t have stood out for not going. So many seniors aren’t going either and while Hope is excited about that, I’m not. Because I’m actually friends with a lot of the people not going.

But prom is now two days away and it’s too late to say no, plus I have a close cousin who is a junior and this is the only year we get to be there together.

I’m just upset that it’s like my wants weren’t even considered. My plan that I came up with was cancelled and not by me! I didn’t get a true say in it! And my friends aren’t even thinking about the fact of if this is fun for me. I always consider my friends when I come up with plans. I wouldn’t force them to hang out with people they didn’t know, even though I did.

I wanted to hang out with some other friends, but Hope didn’t want to. And I wanted Hope to have fun so I went with her. Why can’t anyone do that for me? Why? Why do I always have to be the one to sacrifice??

It makes me even sadder that I was looking forward to it at a point. I was excited for prom, something I never thought would happen. Because even though prom and after prom themselves would suck, I had the fun dinner to look forward to. Having a quiet dinner with friends is one of my favorite types of hang outs.

Now the entire night doesn’t look positive. I have an awkward dinner, an awkward limo ride to prom (loaded with people who I don’t know), a boring prom (I don’t like to dance but Sarah and Hope do so I’ll be sitting at a table all alone for two hours), and a boring after prom (because I’m 18 and don’t really enjoy bouncing on bouncy houses or playing kid games).

I’m just ready for prom to be over.

[hypercat54]

You can always plead illness on the day. Then tell Hope you will take a rain check and make another date for just the 2 of you. Tell her you want to talk privately with her. One point is maybe she can't afford a nice restaurant too....