Is this normal having anxiety and isolation?

[SassyNugg3ts]

Hello, hope we are all keeping safe and sound. I'm type one diabetic and have been instructed to remain indoors for twelve weeks, my partner is a policeman and we live apart anyway so I don't have him for support. Whether it is because of isolation, menstrual cycle, anxiety or a horrid combination, I am having one of the worst mental periods of my life.

I am constantly cycling every memory that is uncomfortable, from when I was six through til I was sixteen. I adore myself at the moment, and yet all I seem to do is remember when someone said something mean, or when I was bullied, or when I had an argument with my parents. I keep kicking myself and I understand it was years ago, and I've carried on so many years without it even crossing my mind, so I don't know why I'm obsessing now unless it is hormones and isolation giving me little to focus on. It gets to the point where I just want to sleep to escape it.

I've been working towards a degree at home but when I try to study I throw up a memory again and it's hard to concentrate. I just don't know what I can do to break the cycle. I've applied for therapy which I believe to be CBT, but I expose myself to my fears everyday. I go over the memories as in detail as I can and then change to another. Has anyone else been feeling like this?

I think it's worthwhile mentioning I've had OCD symptoms since I was six, having rituals so nothing bad would happen. Now I mostly have intrusive thoughts instead. I hope to be formally diagnosed during this therapy phase once I am signposted elsewhere.

Thanks all!

Holly

[wiserlady]

CBT would help you a great deal, in fact I doubt anything else would help you. If you went into so called talking therapy you would just go over and over it like you have done, and although the naive therapist will say it is helpful it is not, you simply relive it and lose another few hours of your life - and they get paid to pretend they understand when they are out of their depth and not helping. You sound like a very capable and bright lady in many circumstances. Hold onto that and the love you have with husband for now.Its more than many have.