This is to my fellow agros and anxiety and panic peeps

Hey you all,

I'm writing this to let you know your not alone, I'm a 10 year combat vet, had ptsd and that turned in to Panic which turned in to GAD, so it's been a battle for me. I lost my dad in 2009 after coming home from Iraq to cancer, I lost friends in combat and one to a training exercise and have always been stalked by death in a way, I got with my ex of 5 years and she had a beautiful baby girl and her dad had nothing to do with her so I became dad and my world lit up, I never had kids of my own so I was excited. When my ex and I broke up, she didn't let me see her anymore because they moved states and she got a new guy. That was the final straw that my doc believes pushed me in to this. I can't bring the people from my past back so I'm lost. I was suppose to be at college right now but I'm laying in bed feeling down. My girlfriend now can't handle the anxiety and I don't expect her to and I don't see her being around here soon. I'll be alone again. My heart is constantly racing over 100 beats a min and my blood pressure is elevated all the time. I feel like I'm being punished for something I did but I'm not sure what that is. Yesterday I woke up and wished I didn't wake up. I am sick of CBT and therapy and I like my doctor but I don't think this is helping at all. Just to the point of giving up. I give, anxiety you win, sick of everything and I'm done fighting. I've fought all of my life and I'm wore out........ But that's not me, I am getting out of this bed and I'm not feeling sorry for my self, I am not letting anxiety win, this is my Damn life not anxiety. My blood pressure and heart rate may be up but it takes years to do damage and its causing me to drop weight, I was 100 pounds over weight this time last year and now I'm 30 pounds away from my weight area, I had this in February and March and remember it tried telling me how bad or sick I was but in april I was going to Cincinnati Reds games and felt like a million bucks in the summer. This cycle isn't as bad as my last cycle it's actually easier and I have more on my plate now then I did back then. I'm already getting knocked around and beaten into the ground so I mise well gain something from it and get up!!!! FUCK YOU ANXIETY, This is my life. Get the fuck out of the way.

God bless and take care!!!!

Love you all

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  • Hi army guy, u are an inspiration to me, I'm going through a bad bout of anxiety right now, I was working hard and has a lot of stress with work I got a bad viral infection which kept me off work but in bed once I dropped and collected my kids from school, then wham this week it's been creeping in and just attacked me today, I feel horrible my eye is twitching I'm shaking my whole head feels like it's gonna explode I feel too like I'm gonna die, losing friends to cancer brought this on, but it's small things that trigger it now to full on anxiety,I no I should feel blessed and usually I'm the happy go lucky girl but when it comes and suffocates me I feel nothing but doom, u have made me realise how others have had it worse than me, I wish u all the best, stay positive I'm gonna do my best too also xx

  • I think of finding nemo, lol just keep swimming. It sucks but it happens and you can't let it control you. I'm glad I could inspire you. I had a guy at college ask me how I did it and I said how I do what and he said come up here every day for 8 hours and then go to work for 8 and have panic disorder and I said it's actually quite simple, get my ass up and head out that door. He said don't you have panic attacks and I smiled and said yea but they only last 10 seconds max now since cbt, he asked aren't you afraid to die? I said honestly yes and no, I am afraid because I feel like this is a stage of life I have to endure and it'll make me stronger in the long run where I can defeat this thing when it comes up, but I'm not because one we all are going to die eventually and that was a fear I had for a long long time, but I believe there is more after this life, I believe in God but not religion, I believe because I've expirenced things I can't explain and even had a witness to one of them and to me that says there is something more than this. So if it happens it happens. But I'm not going to worry my self to death over somthing I have no control over. Keep your head up and keep pushing forward, don't give up. I use to push my problems to the side and I think that helped push me here as well, now I'm taking them on head on, am I wore out, hell yes, but am I almost there, my doctor thinks I'm 80 percent of the way there and did it over 4 years with no meds, he said I was his most determined patient that he's ever seen.

  • Also would like to add that it's a hard road I won't lie. At times I wanna give in and take an ssri but studies have shown time and time again that therapy on no meds actually have better results on beating this in the long run, my doctor was shocked when I threw all ssri srni drugs back at him and dealt with all this on my own. One time he came in laughing shaking his head and said man has anxiety kicked you in your balls but you kick anxiety right in the balls back. He's a army general and works for the VA. He said out of all my patients I thought you would give in but you never did and now you're dealing with your mess but turning around trying to pull people up with you out of this. Truly an inspiration to all who suffer from this. He told me a little key secrete that I focused on, these things hit in monthly cycles when stress comes up and you're prone to them if you already had them for the rest of your life, BUT HERE IS THE KEY, but, they become less and less severe each time because you'll know it's anxiety and anxiety hates that. Will you have panic again yes probably, but when you accept the scary physical and mental feelings This thing hates it and what you'll find out of you don't pay any attention to it, it goes away, there are two groups on this community, ones who won't accept they have anxiety and keep fearing fear and CBT helpes them realize it's fear and over time they may be able to go panic free and then there are the ones that say o well fuck it, I'll have it for the rest of my life and guess what? It goes away as well. Acceptance is key. So we have it I feel like shit, fuck it, I'm going on with my daily activities, and panic will probe you for a weak spot, it will hit all over but stay strong and ignore it. I had 9 attacks in the last week and a half, I'm still alive and smoking a ciggarette saying fuck you anxiety. Go to Iraq and Afghan but come home and now I have fear? Lmao get the hell out of here anxiety, who are you is how I think.

  • I took the same route as you. Faced the fears and symptoms of anxiety head on. I called its bluff because that is all it is. One big bluff, a liar, albeit a good one. I know Meds help some but not others. They made me feel worse so stopped taking them and recovered the natural way by following the teachings of Dr Claire Weekes. Facing your fears, not running away from them, accepting and floating past the fears by being ok about not feeling ok and letting time past because your sensitised nerves take time to heal after weeks, months or years of being on high alert.

    Stick with that attitude soldier and it will be the sweetest of victories.

    Best wishes

    Beevee

  • I was going to suggest you read some of Beevees posts but contact has been made between you both­čśÇ It's just my opinion but I don't think you guys get any where near enough help when you get back to civilisation. What you all have to go through is just horrendous.i could never put into words how highly I think of you all. I guess your training helps you to keep strong even when you just don't want to be!! I'm with you in the fact I feel the same way about anxiety, and depression. I have fought it so hard!! And won't let it get the better of me ever again. I am the master of my own mind and will not be its prisoner. I will pray that you can overcome these attacks sooner rather than later. Even though we come from different countries you are a credit to yours and I hope you find the peace you deserve to have in your life­čÖĆ­čĆ╗

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