Anxious, Depressed, and Lost Again

[Blueshirt]

I am feeling scared so regularly now, and when not scared I am depressed. My life has no purpose. I am nearly retired, nearly 65, and have wasted my life. I have had many years of drinking too much and taking illegal drugs, which I seemed to get on top of a few years ago. So for the last 20 years I have been reasonably ok, with episodes of depression and anxiety. But when stressed, anxious or depressed, or when too opposite that is euphoric, I will occasionally still drink and sometimes take drugs. I know it's stupid and that it makes things worse but every so often I still do it. I feel lost and alone and lonely; I regret so much of what I have done and failed to do. I don't at all like myself. I feel that I am disconnected from everyone; and I don't know what to do.

[1Penny]

The best thing I ever did was join a support group. I went through Celebrate Recovery and it changed my life. There’s a new program call Regeneration that’s just as helpful. They are both faith based. So, if you’re ok with that , I would check them out.

Hang in there. You have value and your worth it!

[Blueshirt in reply to 1Penny]

Thank you. My faith comes and goes I'm afraid, but thank you for helping

[Pearwig]

Wanting to hide away from everyone is a common symptom of depression, as I found. The trouble is, it was exactly the opposite of what I needed to do. As 1Penny writes, support groups of fellow sufferers, past or present, exist. Well, they do in most places in the UK, where I am from. The terms "peer support" and "experts by experience" express the fact that group members will be 100% on your side, they will have some understanding of what you are going through and they will not judge you or criticise you. Sadly, your family and friends may not be the best people to support you at this time. And, as maybe you know, faith in a "supreme being", which might be your own commitment to get well, is the first step in the 12 Step process of the ********* Anonymous organisations.

[Barbara54]

Hi. Why don't you try to see a counsellor? I'm personally not one for group therapy, 12-step programs, faith-based peer support (but I do appreciate that we're all different and do respect everyone else's suggestions. They indeed work for many people!). I see a counsellor once a week and she's a big help in all sorts of different areas of my life. She/he will help you realize that your life is not meaningless and you'll develop the inner tools needed to cope with life. I do understand how you feel as I often feel the same way and resort to self-medicating through drugs and alcohol. But my counselling sessions are helping a lot.

I wish you all the best!

[SuZQ154]

Sorry for how you are feeling. During the holidays, you might even be feeling sadder? How have you been coping these last few days? Have you been seeing a counselor? Christian counseling helped me when I was going through similar feelings to yours. Please know there is hope! Praying for you today!!

[Sunandrose87]

Volunteer maybe something like habitat for humanity or serve at the local soup kitchen. Just so u can get a sense of purpose and talk to people

[Hollick]

With all due respect, the whole 'volunteer advice' is kind of overused, my personal opinion. Speaking from experience, perhaps at one time the whole idea worked, but it's a different world out there now? Still an honorable thing, no doubt about that, but first thing, its overused, and not always effective, if at all. Second, if a person can barely live life, how can they volunteer.? Third, meeting people isn't an easy task any longer, people are disengaged, the connection that used to be, is no longer..we don't really know 'the shoes they've walked in', sometimes for me personally, the volunteer advice is quite belittling..thank you.