Comparing myself to others....

[DreL23]

It’s been awhile since I last wrote something here, I was able to over come my abortion and found someone else who loves me and cares for me yet alone the friends family who are here to support me throughout my life. I’ve been facing another breakdown due to how I compare myself to others based on how far they are in college. My major is mechanical engineering, I took the community college route and I’m in my final year I just have two semesters to finish till I get my associates and transfer to whatever college I apply and accepts me. With community college it put me back a year so I won’t be finishing in 4 but in 5 years which of course doesn’t make a difference because it’s college not highschool but I’ve been struggling and comparing myself how I’m not getting my bachelors soon and I’m only a sophomore and comparing my gpa to others feeling like a failure since I felt like as someone doing an engineering major they have to be smart with a high gpa but mine isn’t as high compare to the other classmates I deal with. So many of them have opportunities and are able to not worry about transferring because of connections and such I feel like I’m not cut out of what I want to be because of how much I struggle during the classes I take yet alone how behind I am. I compare myself to those who took AP classes and I always blame myself why I never did that but I can’t let go of my past. I Keep telling myself that things connect for a reason and maybe something good comes along where I am at now but realizing I won’t finish college in time just bothers me and makes me feel like I’m just nothing but a failure makes me feel ashamed I don’t know why. I know college takes time and everyone goes in different paces but I feel like I won’t make it....I just want to be ok knowing the fact that I’m working on getting a degree but my mind is so caught up with how behind I am in college and making the school year rough then it’s suppose to be.😔