Taking a break

[Cs131193]

Hello all! I hope you’re all having a good day.

I’ve decided that I need to take time out from my relationship for a little while to concentrate on sorting out my mental health and figure out what is going on in my head (intrusive thoughts telling me I don’t love him). As much as I think I love my partner, I really don’t know what else I can do to save the relationship. It really hurt to leave him behind and go back to my mums house but I’m hoping that eventually it will help us reconnect. I feel like I miss him a bit already. We spent all morning cuddling and crying about the decision together. I’m just scared that the break may cause us to split for good. Have I made the right choice?

Thank you!

Chloe.

[kenster1]

hi that's only for you to decide if its the right call.if he understands your struggles hopefully all will turn out good.sounds like you love him though and he clearly loves you but your health is important..

[Cs131193 in reply to kenster1]

Hi kenster1, thank you for your reply.

I think I definitely do still love him, it’s just clouded by everything going on in my mind and my intrusive thoughts, I guess I’m attacking the relationship because that’s the closest thing to me.

[kenster1 in reply to Cs131193]

yeah that's usually how it is it could be a good thing as you realise this.hopefully with some support things will be ok.hate seeing relationships suffer because of our illness.

[Cs131193 in reply to kenster1]

Thank you! I really hope so, we went through a miscarriage in March which I think we’re still grieving for, I think that’s a big part of it to be honest with you. It’s such a horrible illness to have, some days are good and some days are really dark, but it’s how we handle it that counts.

[kenster1 in reply to Cs131193]

sorry to hear that.

[gggg123]

Why would you think a thought you are having telling you that you don't love him is an intrusive one ?. You obviously don't love him and this part of you that is saying it, is you, it's not an intrusive thought, it's you listen to yourself.

[Cs131193 in reply to gggg123]

gggg123, because we’ve been through so much together and we’ve just been through a huge loss together, it’s not just him I don’t feel anything for, I don’t feel anything for our dog either.

[gggg123 in reply to Cs131193]

But you love your dog, you are not in love with it like you're supposed to be him. I don't understand your thoughts. I been in many relationships the longest for 20+ years and when you have a thought that you don't love someone, regardless of what you've been through and everything else you only have that thought because you actually don't love them. To ignore that and not want to deal with that, that I would consider intrusive. I've never in my life had a thought that I didn't love someone but still actually did, that's if I was honest with my self !.

[Cs131193 in reply to gggg123]

I don’t feel any sort of feeling toward my dog at all, I’ve spoken to my doctor and a counsellor who have both said that they could just be intrusive thoughts, the only way to know is to take time away from my partner and reconnect later on if I have any hope of salvaging the relationship, which I feel deep down I want.

[gggg123 in reply to Cs131193]

Well take that break but if you have ANY doubt that you don't love him let him be and let him move on too. I almost made the mistake of marrying someone I didn't love,I cared for them, but I wasn't in Iove with them but they did me. So I broke their heart to set them free. They went on to marry and have 3 children and live good life and I moved on too. I nearly married them too, so glad I didn't. It can lead to sad regretful life not being honest with yourself.

Good luck to you and hope everything works out ok.

[Cs131193 in reply to gggg123]

It’s a hard place to be when you begin to question it isn’t it! Thank you! I hope so too.