I haven’t been around here lately, as I was dealing with some private family stuff that’s been happening to me, my mother, grandmother and cousins. It has been a really though period tho, and I was working on my anxiety issues too.
With all the things settling down, now I have been kind of lost. I don’t know if it has anything to do with higher temperatures or summer (I read that summer anxiety is a thing now) but I find myself counting my heart beats again, having some suicidal thoughts and worrying about dying. I hope that I am not alone. I have always had support in this group and I hope there are still good people out there who can help me. I just feel so anxious again, with all the therapy I take for my panic disorder. My chest have been so thight for these couple days and I find myself wondering about heartattack. I just am at a very low place again. I also moved on with my boyfriend so that’s one of the reasons I wasn’t very active here, as he doesn’t know about this support group, I feel like it’s my safe space where I can say whatever and it stays between us.
With all that, I also found some other health issues like PCOS, irreversible Hashimoto’s disease and strong headaches, binge eating also.
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masa2333
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I am so happy to hear from you. I would love to know how have you been doing lately.
I am still with the same bf, I see now that I made a mistake, we moved IN together. We worked on all the issues we had and it seems that everything is going more than okay for us now.
I graduated from Law, got mu Bachelor Degree and I am looking forward to my specialisation in Criminal Law and defense.
My mom had papilloma in her throat and they took a sample of it to send it to further analyses. She also had to have her teeth and lower jaw removed because of infection and inflammation, her bones are weaker now because of Chemo. My grandmother also had stomach cancer which she is treating now.
My cousin had a bad car crash in wich his best friend passed away, and he is left with broken arms and brain injury. So on, so on. A lot of stuff there.
Temperatures here go to 40 degrees Celsius and is so hot. I’m from Serbia. It seems like this weather change also affected my anxiety.
I am looking forward to hearing from you my dear friend. Lots of love ❤️
I am so sorry to hear about all the tragic things that have happened in your family.
I did not realise that your mum has cancer. Sorry if you did tell me and I had not remembered. I really feel for you and her. It is such alot to go through for you all. I really hope it is not too much bad news from the lump she has had removed and that she is recovering from the infection and operation on her jaw, it sounded very nasty. How is she managing at home?
Your poor grandmother is ill also with cancer which is another sad thing for you all to cope with. Then for your cousin to go through that terrible car accident and to loose his friend as well as have bad injuries himself. How is he coping with the loss and how is he recovering from his injuries. No wonder you are suffering from anxiety as well as your other conditions, which I have heard of but I am sorry I do not know much about. It seems very hard for you to have had to cope with such a lot at your young age.
First though, CONGRATULATIONS for passing your law degree 😀😀😀 you have done so well!! I am pleased you will then go on to study criminal law and defence. You will make a great lawyer because you have humanity and will develop considerable strength and wisdom due to overcoming so many hurdles in your life.
I am also so pleased that you and your boyfriend are living together and that the relationship has improved.
How interesting that you are from Serbia which I am sure is a very interesting and beautiful country. I have a bit of a connection with your part of the world because my husband, daughter and I visited and fell in love with Slovenia because if it's simple rural culture and beautiful mountains around 12 years ago now.
We have visited many many times over the years and have bought a plot of land of 19 hectares in the east of the country near Maribor. There are two ruined cottages on the land and it is in some beautiful forest covered hills in a wine producing area. We have made some friends out there who we try to keep in touch with. We planned to develop the cottages as our holiday homes but as the recession hit and land prices fell we found that it would not be worth doing it financially. We still love the country and the area however. From our plot of land we have stunning views and can see Croatia and Hungary as well as Slovenia.
I wondered if you are Hungarian at first as I looked up the name Masa and it said it was Hungarian. We have visited Croatia as we drove from the house down to Plitvici Lakes which are really beautiful then onto a little island called Rab and stayed for a few days. When we go to our house and land we camp on the land. It is so remote and wild with lots of beautiful butterflies, birds and wild flowers. There are also alot of deer and other wildlife such as wild boar and pine martens.
We used to sit out after a meal with a glass of wine while watching the sun go down and the stars come out and no artificial lights to spoil the darkness. Then the fireflies would come out to hover in the air and form chains of little lights down the path into the dark woods. That has got me thinking of going again. We have not been for quite a few years now and miss it but our lives have moved on. We also had a house in the foothills of the Sierra Nevada in Spain as we have a lot of relatives we are really close to out there and did use that alot for many many years as our holiday home. We could drive to the ski resort from it or into the mountains to walk to down the coast to swim. We have sold that house now after having it for 13 years but still have the land in Slovenia to see if the house prices ever recover.
Our Spaniel had a doggie passport and travelled all over Europe with us in our camper van after I first retired. He was a great traveller and visited many countries with us. Sadly he died about 4 years ago now so I mind other people's dogs now as you know.
I am going to look up Serbia after I have finished this reply. Did you say you were near the sea? In England we live on a peninsular of land with the sea with sandy beaches on one side and creeks and salt marshes on the other which are close enough to walk to. I am hoping to start my sea swimming again this weekend as we too have hot weather now.
You have it too hot in the summer I think, 40 degrees plus. No wonder it makes your anxiety worse. How nice that Miniwheats comes from the same country. I do not know how similar the Slovenian language is but will say Dober Dan incase you can understand it.
Well I will need to give you more current news next time as this is too long already. We are all fine however. I continue to be well and happy and my work in London went well thanks.
I will just say that as I said I am very interested in birds and wildlife so would love to hear what garden birds you see from day to day if you notice and if you encounter wildlife at all. We often see foxes at night and barn owls as well as goldfinches, and bluetits on our bird table and moorhens and mallard ducks on our wildlife pond in our garden.
Do you or your parents have a garden and what do you/ they grow. We are picking lots of broad beans, asparagus and artichokes as well as blackcurrants as we love to grow and gather and preserve our own fruit and vegetables for healthy eating. We live in an old country cottage with 3/4 acre of garden.
Really looking forward to hearing from you again but will understand if it takes a while or if you need a break again as you have such a lot going on in your family and with your studies.
First of all, thanks for taking time to talk to me. It means a lot. My mother is doing better, it just hurts me to see all the things she’s gone through in her life and it makes me sad and anxious as I could not imagine losing her too. She has pain, she does not move from house because she can have the urge to go to the bathroom or vommit that she can not control. But all things considered, she is doing fine (or she does a good job hiding her true feelings)
My grandmother is currently the most stable person in our family because she looks after herself, my mother and also my brother and me. She retired a few years ago so she moved in with my mother. She used to live near the sea, so that’s where I went in her old house when I was at the sea. It is reasonable car drive.
My cousin is really battling with all the things that have happened to him and his best friend. He could not believe that he died. My cousin does have some hallucinations from brain injury and he cannot walk straight without help because otherwise he will fall. He started going to Church to pray for him. But his body injuries and bruises are getting better...
it truly is a lot to take on, as I write all of this I see just how many things have happened to me that I consider normal, because I do not remember living my life without them? My dad has been battling with cancer since I was 8, so it never occured to me that one has to be really strong to go through all of that.
Thank you so much!!!❤️❤️❤️ I will definitely try to make things right whenever I can!🙂
There is a lot of beautiful sights that you can see in Slovenia, Croatia, Serbia, Montenegro and all the Ex Yu countries. Wonderful wildlife as well as nature and places to enjoy.
There are some wonderful memories you got there! 🥰 it’s lovely to hear that you and your family have been enjoying this part of Europe. I have never been to Sierra Nevada tho. Would definitely love to!🙂
I’m so sorry about your dog. My boyfriend got me a pug and I already love him endlessly so I can imagine what it felt like for you to lose your companion after so many years. I might go on a road trip to Germany this year and I was wondering if I could bring my pug with me. I still don’t know what’s the hotel, restaurants and other places policies about pets.
I love England and I love London. I have visited London, Oxford, Cambridge and Baths so far and I loved every one of them. I was at the seaside somewhere not far away from London, although I cannot remember the name of the place. :/
I understood you! It’s Dobar dan here! 🙂 yes, today the temperature in car showed 47 degrees. Holy...
as I live in town, I do not see much of a wildlife nor birds, but I joined at volunteer group in Animal Shelter where I go twice a week to help and feed abandoned animals, mostly dogs. It realy relaxes me but also makes me sad as I would adopt all of them if I could.
We currently live in a flat, so no garden but we did have one at my grandparents house (father’s parents who both passed away aged 97) where we lived when I was a kid. Until I started going to school. My grandfather did grow a lot of different kind of flowers, trees, but also apples, cherries, pears, plums, potatoes, carrots, cabbage, lettuce... we used to eat only food from our garden and my grandfather was a hunter so we also had wild caught lamb often. We didn’t have much, but we were very happy with everything we could find! I really miss those days as I would love to live in a house with a garden now where I could plant my own plants and live away from all the polution and people that living in a city brings.
I hope to hear from you. Thank you again For all the kind words❤️
Hi Masa. Good to hear from you although I wish it wasn't under these circumstances. My jaw dropped when you said where you're from.
Moji roditelji su iz Bosne...
What a coincidence!
I think I must have mentioned to you about my dizzy spells, how CBT helped and it went away completely. Well guess what, they started up again last week. They have started in the spring the last three years and I now believe something environmental is causing them. Either heat or an allergy to something in the air. However, I also am perimenopausal (I think) and my period was extremely late when I started getting dizzy spells last year (I don't remember the year before) and I was supposed to get it last week and I have yet to get it. But now since I know for sure it's nothing harmful I completely ignore it and so far hasn't spun out of control. And yes I've also heard that summer is worse for anxiety.
I'm so happy you've finished your degree, but I'm so sad about the bad luck your mom, grandmother, and cousin had. I just can't believe everything you've gone through the last few years. I don't even know what to say to you at this point😕
Omg! Do you speak the common language? Do you live there?
I’m so sorry to hear that you have dizzy spells again 😕 I also got them sometimes, although it only started bothering me recently. I’m mostly worried about my prolactine being a bit higher than normal so no irrational thought there. I think there are vitamins for perimenopausal women that can help hormones to stay in balance and make it more comfortable for you to pass through that period. May be due to anxiety tho, maybe it has something to do with weather change. I just recently read that summer anxiety is real because heat makes you sweat more, heart beating faster, shallow breathing ect. which is horrible for people with anxiety-related problems.
Just talking to all of you makes it more easy for me. Makes me believe that I am here, I am alive, I will not die. Those thoughts about dying are haunting me. And yes, so much stress at 21 years old doesn’t help it.
I hope to hear from you, I’m so thankful you reached out.❤️
Gee I dunno, what's considered the "common language?" I speak Serbian.
I'm glad you are finding this forum helpful. And yes you have been through alot in your 21 years, and though this won't bring you any comfort right now, you are going to a force to be reckoned with because of them. I know. Naj bolje je kad su roditelji zivi i zdravi, I kad sve ide kako ti hoces i kako si planirala. Kako ti je mama sad? I baba?
Srpski, crnogorski, bosnjacki, hrvatski...meni su isti 🙂 mama mi se i dalje lijeci od kancera ali drzi sve pod kontrolom, sad su joj oslabile kosti od hemo pa su morali cijelu donju vilicu da joj odstrane, nasli su i neki papilom u grlu koji je poslat na dalji nalaz...baba je operisala tumor na debelom crijevu i sad ide na snimanja i kontrole... bas mi drago da smo istih korijena by the way🙂
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