scared

[Nina91]

hey, i'm Nina, 24 years old and i'm living with anxiety for about 5 years...i was okay for about 2 years but this summer i became very anxious about my health... i had rib cage tightness when i was standing or walking, so i rushed to the ER, where they did EKG, bloodwork and chest xray...everything was okay... but after one week my symptoms didn't go away so i went to my doctor. she did EKG and bloodwork and again everything was ok. my mom kept telling me, that this pressure was because of my posture and scoliosis so i went on bowns therapy...then i started to feel better... but not for too long.. i started to feel pressure in my upper stomach and also some burning, so my doctor gave me some antacids and it was okay. when i stopped with medication, my stomach started to get thightand tender if i touch it..i also have back pain so i'm sooo worried that i have pancreatic cancer:(if i think logically i know that i don't have it, they even checked my stomach on ultrasound and everything is fine and also checked my blood of inflammatory markers and that was also fine. My doctor said that they checked everything and that i'm fine, so i should be happy, but i'm keep getting pressure in my stomach, feels like i'm hungry all the time even if i eat... i hate myself for always worry, i should be happy that i'm fine, but i'm so scared because i have all the symptoms of pancreatic cancer... i don'tknow what to do. i don't want to talk with my mom because i feel sorry for her, because she will have to explain to me AGAIN that everything is fine like thousand times before. this is my first time with health anxiety, before that i was afraid of schizophrenia but that lasted only for 2 weeks when i was under stress. So for the past 3 years i had periods with "what if i'm schizophrenic" but i somehow kept my mind busy and forgot about this..but this summer i started with HA i don't know which one is worse... my mind is occupied with heart attacks, ovarian cancer, pancreatic cancer, cystic fibrosis, because i have all this symptoms, don't know if i should run to my doctor again, but i'm sure that they would find something by now right? ( 3 blood work, 2 ECGS, chest x ray, ultrasound of abdomen). I'm just so scared, i also have two sisters, they listen to me, but don't understand why i'm i so afraid if doctor told me that i'm fine i'm sorry for bad English i'm from Slovenia, so i'm sure that you will find some grammar mistakes

[Hidden]

when we suffer from anciedades. our minds think that some diseases are healing. and we were searching all the time on the website. I do the same thing. and I have done 3 electro echocardiogram. x ray. complet blood test and including HIV. ultrason my thyroid. also the blood test of tireoid. all these tests ready this all normal. in my echocardiogram who accused minimum trace mitral regurgitation. but my cardiologist told me not hav to worry. it is very common. . all tests of my heart is normal. in my mind I thought I had multiple sclerosis. lung cancer. diabetes. everything bad. thank God not have any of that. I hope u undesrtend my English. Cuz I'm from Brazil. 😄😂

[Hidden]

anxiety destroys the mind. so we must work the mind

[Nina91 in reply to Hidden]

Anxiety is the worst!😩

[June1515 in reply to Nina91]

Anxiety is the worse you are so right i had my father pass 2 years ago he died young so that was a big hit 2 weeks later i suffered a heart attack due to smoking so much just a week ago i had a big panic attack anxiety while in traffic it was crazy. Since then i dont even want to leave my house

[Agora1 in reply to June1515]

Hi June1515, I can understand now where your anxiety has come from. I'm so sorry for the passing of your father as well as you having had a heart attack. Those are both big life traumas that have left you venerable to anxiety. You have mentioned being in therapy and waiting for an appointment with the psychiatrist however, after the passing of your father and your own health issue, did you have therapy then? I'm sure this is always on your mind and needs to be addressed. My best to you...

[June1515 in reply to Agora1]

I never had therapy when my father passed or the heart attack i did not think i needed it God pulled me through that pain but this time i decided to get help not just spiritually but also medically the crazy thing is i saw this coming back in june i went to NY and had a minor panic attack while waiting for the train in front of my wife mother and kids but tried to control it didnt tell anyone anything. This last week is the first time everybody really sees it now now they all know but dont realize how hard it is because you have to go through it to understand it. Thanks buddy

[Andrea1915]

I'm so sorry to hear that you are suffering with this horrible anxiety reading your post absolutely reminds me of myself right now I too have been totally convinced that I have pancreatic cancer I have about the same symptoms as you are experiencing this thought has taken over my life and I to have to constantly have my parents trying to convince me I don't have that while crying everyday it's horrible! The worst thing to do it Google this stuff I wish I never did that I'm sure things wouldn't have been so blown up in my head but the thing with health anxiety is thinking the worst instead of thinking rational and saying to yourself it's not the worst case scenario it's so hard to do I know! this fear of having pancreatic cancer has taken over my life for 4 months now and I'm so sick of it I hope you can let go of the fear that you have that because im 100% sure you don't you have that you had test and been to the dr's if they aren't worried then you shouldn't be. If you are googling symptoms or stories of people with pancreatic cancer stop now at least for a day or 2 and then you will see your symptoms will start to not be as bad there could be a million things wrong it's not pancreatic cancer that is super rare especially in young people

[Nina91 in reply to Andrea1915]

The thing is that before i started googling i already had stomach and back pain but i know that if i'm having pain, tests should have show something right? I'm so tired, i just want to enjoy my life:/ how are you coping with these fear? I feel so alone, i want to talk with my mom, but then she will be sad because of me

[Andrea1915 in reply to Nina91]

I know I'm sure the pain is there but it's probably not as bad as you think it is when you have anxiety and you start thinking you have horrible deadly diseases then it makes the symptoms even worse sometimes I have no idea what's real and what not real because the mind manifests these things as you become so focused on every little pain or twinge that you completely convince yourself that you have cancer. I am not coping very well I have considered even hospitalizing myself for the anxiety because it's so bad I have kids and a husband and I'm not there for them right now. I know you want the reassurance from your mom you want to hear her say your ok nothing is wrong with you but that piece of mind only lasts while she is talking to you once that conversation is done with then your mind starts telling you this stuff again I do the same thing my whole family is being affected by my fear right now and I feel so bad for that you are young and there is almost no way possible You have pancreatic cancer most the time people don't know they have it till they turn yellow and get jaundice you have to keep telling yourself that you have been to the dr they aren't worried about it nothing unusual was found so you need to believe that and spend your time thinking and doing something else. Your going back and forth with this because you feel like you have no resolution and you won't get a resolution trust me you literally have to stop thinking about it and go for a walk call a friend go out to lunch do something else because the mind can only think about 1 thing at a time and if you spend your days focused on something that isn't real or true you are wasting your life away you do not have pancreatic cancer it's almost impossible for you at your age to have that you need to tell yourself that over and over laugh at the fact that your brain is even trying to convince you of this dont let it control you it's not real it's not reality.

[Andrea1915]

When I was googling this stuff over and over I developed seriously bad back pain along w the stomach pain and every thing else I was reading I was feeling once I stopped googling it I noticed that I didn't have to back pain anymore like a few day later I thought huh that's weird that back pain was really bad and now I stopped thinking and reading about it so it dissapeared I still have the stomach pain and it really does hurt But since I stopped googling this stuff and filling my head with stories and bad things about this disease my brain is forgetting about it and telling me yeah something is up with your stomach but it's not pancreatic cancer so when my mind tries to tell me it is I shut that thought down and say no it isn't that and even if it was there isn't anything that I could do about it I would deal with it just like I would deal with anything that could potentially happen to me in my life but worrying about it won't do anything but make you more sick trust me I have had this health anxiety for many years and it has caused me true health problems like obesity adrenal fatigue and heart issues all because I wasted sooo many years not doing anything but sitting around in my room being scared I have things and obsessing becoming debilitated by it and now I have hormone and adrenal problems because of the adrenaline and cortisol over load into my body from worry so yes worrying constantly and not taking care of yourself physically and mentally will cause harm to your body I'm 37 and been doing this since I was 14! It's not a fun and peaceful life if you can find a way to get help for it now that you are still young and just starting to have this problem

[Nina91]

Andrea1915 thank you sooo much!! I know deep down that i'm fine, but the pain i feel is so real so i'm sure that my doctor missed something. But my school just started so i hope that i will keep my mind busy with school stuff and forget about pancreatic cancer