I’ll try to keep this as short as possible. I’ve had anxiety for as long as I can remember. It got worse when getting a diagnosis for endometriosis then I had a baby and think I got postnatal depression, Mum recently got diagnosed with cancer (she’s had operation to remove it so things should be okay). When my mum got diagnosed I went into panic, couldn’t eat or sleep and was finding it near impossible to function at all. I had to leave my daughter with my partner and go to my sisters. I started on citalopram which made me feel like I had panic rushing up and down my body all day, 4 ambulance calls later and a near hospital admission, a psychiatrist put me on lorazepam and mirtazapine. A week later I was much better, I slept and ate and came home much more able to look after my daughter. The whole experience was the worst thing I’d ever been through. I’m now on 30mg mirtazapine, 8 weeks in.
I feel better than I did but I feel tired, depressed and really anxious still. I have developed a health anxiety, I worry about cancer all day. I saw my doctor yesterday and she suggested upping my dose to 45mg. I’m worried about going through more side effects and am thinking is mirtazapine the right antidepressant for me. I don’t want to turn into a walking zombie. I have a child who I feel guilty to, to look after.
But I also don’t want to experience the levels of panic I did on citalopram, please help ☹️ Do I up mirtazapine or try another antidepressant. In between all this I have to try and support my mum as she has chemotherapy coming up. I’m just lost x
Hey Amber,
First and foremost, I'm sorry to hear everything you're going through. It appears the medication you've been given isn't in the SSRI/SNRI category...which the Celexa you had is in. It is used to treat depression, so it seems to fit what you're dealing with. I don't think anyone on here can tell you with absolute certainty whether this medication is for you or not because we aren't qualified medical professionals. The tougher part of this is every single person responds to medications differently. Where you had difficulty with Celexa, others may consider it their break through. A lot of these medications can cause side effects similar to what you mention. If you feel the side effects are not worth the benefits, I think it's time to have a heart to heart with your doctor. This especially if you're on a medication for depression and are feeling more depressed. This might be why they're raising the dose, but I would mention how dysfunctional you feel and how it bothers you in terms of how you can care for your daughter. Again, it's really hard to say what medication might be best for you because no one wants to send you for emergency room visits. What I can say, in hope, is that there are many medications that your doctor could opt for in lieu of the current medication. The lorazepam should help your current anxiety as well as any anxiety you experience while taking an antidepressant (it's common for these meds to cause some anxiety while they adjust the chemicals of the brain).
My opinion only (not a medical professional one) is to ask about other alternatives, the pros/cons, and letting your doctor know how you feel. They should respond with empathy and provide help towards a better solution. There are a lot of other antidepressants out there, but to be able to zone in on a correct one for you is difficult. Often it's trial and error until one finally seems to do the trick. Sometimes the side effects, such as what you are experiencing are the risk....and the benefit is you are doing a little better than before. If you can, I would make an appointment when you can to have this chat so you can get back to feeling more like yourself. And I would try to be provide yourself a little more self-kindness as I'm sure you're a great mother that just happens to be going through a rough time. As far as the medication you're on, it's already in your system, so you may not experience further or more intense side effects by the greater dose. You can always call and check with your doctor or pharmacist about this possibility. I hope this helped a little and sending positive vibes your way while you figure this out; I've had difficulties with certain antidepressants as well. Take care and I hope you get the best possible outcome