I’ll try to keep this as short as possible. I’ve had anxiety for as long as I can remember. It got worse when getting a diagnosis for endometriosis then I had a baby and think I got postnatal depression, Mum recently got diagnosed with cancer (she’s had operation to remove it so things should be okay). When my mum got diagnosed I went into panic, couldn’t eat or sleep and was finding it near impossible to function at all. I had to leave my daughter with my partner and go to my sisters. I started on citalopram which made me feel like I had panic rushing up and down my body all day, 4 ambulance calls later and a near hospital admission, a psychiatrist put me on lorazepam and mirtazapine. A week later I was much better, I slept and ate and came home much more able to look after my daughter. The whole experience was the worst thing I’d ever been through. I’m now on 30mg mirtazapine, 8 weeks in.
I feel better than I did but I feel tired, depressed and really anxious still. I have developed a health anxiety, I worry about cancer all day. I saw my doctor yesterday and she suggested upping my dose to 45mg. I’m worried about going through more side effects and am thinking is mirtazapine the right antidepressant for me. I don’t want to turn into a walking zombie. I have a child who I feel guilty to, to look after.
But I also don’t want to experience the levels of panic I did on citalopram, please help ☹️ Do I up mirtazapine or try another antidepressant. In between all this I have to try and support my mum as she has chemotherapy coming up. I’m just lost x