Does anyone else ever feel like they’re mourning for themselves? I miss my life so bad. I was so independent.. I’d hop on a train and grab ice cream at 9:30pm because I wanted to treat myself after working on a ton of music. I’d work on music nonstop. Go to the gym daily and feel wonderful. I wouldn’t worry about my health. I wouldn’t panic on the trains from agoraphobia. I’d just fantasize all day about marrying my boyfriend and my career. Working harder. Future trips to faraway places.
I’m REALLY hoping this is withdrawal but I’m starting to get freaked out because it’s been 3 weeks off. YES, I tapered. I had really crappy adverse effects to Zoloft.
I’m just sitting around right now at my boyfriend’s not feeling like me, crying by myself, wondering when this is just gonna stop. I felt so dizzy earlier and I literally got scared I would die or faint.
I do not want to be stuck like this forever. God I wish I never took Zoloft. I wish I never let my anxiety crush me. Yes, I’m afraid of not feeling better, and mental health, and I never believe doctors. My hypochondria is not gone. But I really really wish I could just take a time machine and not google the symptoms I had with my stomach in February. I would give anything.
My boyfriend has been so kind and patient to me. I feel like I disappointed him this morning when I felt strange even though he told me to lay down and stay at his place.
I’m so so terrified I’m going nuts. My doctor and multiple others laugh and assure me I’m fine but it is so scary for me to even think about.
I just don’t even feel like me right now. It’s foggy, I feel distant, I feel hopeless. I never ever felt like this in my life. I’m praying it’s just the chemicals adjusting.
I just wish I had a friend to sit with right now.