These records are good for me and maybe for others!
So, today and yesterday I experienced blurred vision. I’ve had this before from anxiety, but I think it’s the Zoloft cuz I’ve been not really panicky at all. I’ve had an MRI and eye exams last month so I know it’s nothing severe! See, the hypochondria is getting better.
Anyway, I’m feeling relaxed this AM. But foggy. Kinda dream like. Definitely the Zoloft but I feel more like me as I wean off.
Feeling motivated. Honestly, part of it is the fear of losing it all. My boyfriend has been my pillar and even when he’s tough and not feeding into my anxiety, I think it helps. The reassurance we all “need” can perpetuate the problem. But I got terrified thinking of wtf would happen if I’m still crying hysterically while googling symptoms even after I was tested negative for stuff and.. I was like “this isn’t me.” It is but it’s not all of me and I let it consume it all.
Anywho.. I’m at home alone right now and don’t feel like panicking. I could not be alone last week without freaking out. I was given some tasks to do around the house while my bf works on his apartment and after I update this, I’m gonna do it.
The fears I have are slowly diminishing. They come in waves but waves are better than 24/7.
I’m far from 100% still but I never thought I’d get this far. Part of my motivation is also getting myself back to where I was after Zoloft. One more week of weaning and I’m done.
Also I have a psychiatric follow up next week and a neurologist follow up. Standard procedures.. but all questions I have about my fears I can ask again. Even though everything was negative, I sometimes do need to ask again. This time, it’ll be the last time, and then I’ll put it all to bed.