Am i the only one who feels extremely superstitious about all the things i saw or do , i dont know if its OCD, just fear, or due to anxiety, but i always have rituals and ways to do things , i fear saying things worrying about them coming true , for example i fear saying something ironic, or jokingly because i feel saying it will make it come true, i hate living like that but i tried soo hard but it rarely gets better , i always fear jinxing things
I aso have an insane fear of karma, like if i did something bad i never deserve to be rewarded, and feel god or the universe is out to get me , which is never fair because i try my best to be a good person but we all do things wrong
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This can be controlled with medicines until, you have enough life experience to KNOW that these thoughts are just something for your mind to dwell upon in order to give you something to do.
They stop when you are fully engaged in activities..........however unless you have a job or a hobby that takes your full concentration, your mind will look for something to obsess upon.
Be sure and find someone who can direct you to therapy and meds to get you over this hump.
Hi, I’ve always done what you describe- that fear that if I even think of something in a joking way, or “what if” thinking, that I’ve done something that actually might harm someone or cause what I thought to come true. Even when I was little and other kids were playing that “step on a crack” game, I was terrified I’d made it come true.
I was diagnosed with pure O OCD years ago and only recently learned that type of thinking is part of OCD, it’s called Magical Thinking. I’m curious if you, like me, have had anxiety since childhood? Because it makes sense to me that Magical Thinking would develop in anxious children who don’t have full understanding of the world works (and haven’t developed more adult obsessions like health anxiety).
Anyhow I hope having a name for what you do helps you realize it’s just another thing your anxious mind does, and not “reality”.
I remember my dad’s drinking problems, family fights, emergency rooms in midnights, family protection services, you name it ,i was maybe about
4-5 years old, add bullying, my mom , aunt, and grandma getting cancer in a row , with a bunch of other crap over the course of me turning 18 between other cancer scares, my parents divorce and many financial problems that took place, also school stress of exams and going to university ..it would be safe to say i had always been stressed and anxious because im always on edge thinking something bad will happen , but never knew what it was being too young ..ii never really had a support system because all my family had their own problems ..i also developed severe health anxiety after my moms cancer diagnosis and trying to learn about it in order to be there for her, so i became very scared of life and all the bad things that can happen ,
You are right having a name for what im suffering makes me feel calmer, like im not crazy or wrong or very different , its normal for all what i have been through
I always try to put myself in situations where i can get over my superstitions and fears, like saying more things, doing more , to show myself its in my head, sometimes i think im crazy where i think something can happen if i heard of it as a story or seen it in a movie , but i hope this all would change as i develop more knowledge towards it
Hi, first I want to say I’m sorry you had a rough childhood. It sounds a lot like mine, my parents divorced when I was two and when my mom remarried when I was 4 she married an abusive cheating drunk... which was around the time that I remember my first real phobias (being locked in department stores when they closed at night!) popping up. With me there is a big family thread of anxiety related disorders (my son, my dad, my cousin, an uncle, and I have all had anxiety spectrum diagnosis), and I suspect the trauma at home flipped the switch at that time. Even when the stepfather was gone my mother became the problem as she was sometimes physically abusive and was/is mentally abusive. So I can imagine how you felt with no one to turn to, and feeling overwhelmed with watching loved ones with serious physical battles of their own. An adult can find a way to cope with fears of cancer-medical tests, lifestyle changes, etc.., but a child doesn’t really understand that, and the fantasy ideas that make up their lives become a very reasonable way of coping with unmanageable fears.
Yeah it can seem totally crazy the way we use our superstitions to cope, but it doesn’t mean we are crazy. I used to have a ritual when I was in high school. My mom was in sales, meaning she sort of made her own schedule. One day I came home and she was there and she must have had a bad day. She went nuts because my shirt was wrinkled. So after that every day walking home I was afraid she’d be back before me. I started counting steps in the sidewalk partitions, and if I made the same amount of steps each time then she wouldn’t be home. A crazy notion but in reality a soothing way to not focus on the real possibility that I might get my ass beat in about 10 minutes if she was already home.
I think the final thing you said is the key here, that you hope things change as you learn more about it. That’s absolutely true! The more you know, the more you realize that your just suffering from a really tricky condition, one that will try to match the moves you make to beat it. But when you call it what it is, anxiety, then you take away all the fears that come with it. You aren’t going mad, and you don’t have any disease that may pop into your head, you simply have a disease that makes you worry... a lot!
Thank you so much for this, you have no idea how much better i feel as i know how other experienced life with anxiety and similar circumstances, i always felt alone or that i was the only one who had problems like this, which is wrong but i really felt i was alone
So this means so much
Ever since i joined thus website , i gained so much knowledge that saved my life , i dont know how things would have turned out if i never knew what i know now, between ways to calm, charactarisics if anxiety, how physical symptoms can be caused,meditation, breathing techniques, and aloot more
Please keep talking to people here. Talking to people who will listen can do so much to relive the stress and worry. A place like this is full of people who know what terror is , so while maybe they can’t give you the detached prospective of a therapist, they can simply say, I know how that feels, and that means a lot. Everyone here has been where you are. So often I scan over the post and think “yeah I remember feeling that way”. Anxiety is a very isolating disease because it really tries to force you to live alone in your mind. All the things we are afraid of only exist there and we battle them there.
I admire how many people are now openly talking about their mental illnesses with people casually in the real world. It seems like many people are open about their depression, bi-polar disorder or adult adhd. But it feels like those of us with anxiety hide in the shadows and I get that, fear of what the others will think. And while I tried that, being open with casual friends and acquaintances, I got tired of hearing them say, “oh my dirty house must set you off”, or “yeah I worry too”- they don’t understand. But I’ll keep being open with people because just to come across one other person who says, “omg my son was just diagnosed with that” or “I have that too”, will make it worth it. But at least in this group we do have love, understanding, and support!
I just picked up a book from my library, Mindfullness for OCD, it looks good, so maybe check to see if your local library has it. Mindfulness can help everyone, no matter where you are on the anxiety spectrum.
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Scared of being judged
Anxiety....hope this helps
I still fear God is telling me I’m dying.
My problems seem to stem from idealism, but how do I change that?
seriously feel like giving up 
