Peeling the onion

So I've been on this great site now for a few days and read some blogs and some i will get to do so when i get the time!

Did you know that love is the only one true emotion us humans have? Anything else is derived from fear, and in most cases fear serves no purpose whatsoever unless it's there to save your life. This is called fight or flight. For example, if a tiger ran toward you, you would either fight it (fight) or run (flight)

Other than that, fear is not real and is distorted thinking. Because if you think about it, why would you be fearful of something? For example... "I am anxious because I am in a supermarket and it's full of people, I have social anxiety" Well, what's going to happen... really?? Well nothing. So why would you have a fear of this? Of course this is just an example, but do you get the picture?

Anything that's a fear that is going to save your life like the fear of burning a live in a burning building, it is absolutely pointless and serves no protective function. Every that doesn't come out of love, comes out of fear and the question you have to ask yourself is whether this is protecting you from something and serving you well - if the answer is no, then is isn't really real because it serves no purpose therefore it is simply concocted from your own beliefs and unnecessary thoughts about something in particular.

You've really got to ask what and why is it we get scared of things. Such as approaching the boss who you don't particularly get on with! And the fear of meeting them. Really, what's the worst thing that could happen??

Having anxiety about certain things, to me is about understand how and why we do what we do.

And this is like pealing an onion. What's the reason, behind the reason... so the next time you have an anxiety attack (if you do at all, and reject this if you don't!!!!!) ask... why am I doing this, what's the point, what's the reason behind the reason?

Fight this, instead of fleeing and you'll be seeing fantastic results.

[Hidden]

What's the name of the site please

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

hi sorry i didn't reply, been really busy! It's not on a site, i just did it

[Hidden]

Great advice just hard to put into practise

[Pingu]

Have you ever had anxiety John or a panic attack. Yes your advice is very true but as sharonlou says very difficult to practice, especially when the thing you are most terrified about is fear. I couldnt care less about a difficult meeting with my boss or a supermarket full of people. But when I am at home just chilling watching tv and I have a panic attack out of the blue and it just keeps continuing and I feel like jumping out of the window to kill myself purely because I am so frightened - thats the worst that can happen. Sadly John lots of people do kill themselves because their depression or anxiety is so bad - and to some thats the worst that can happen. We all know a panic attack isnt going to kill us and that it will subside but whilst we are in that terror thats the worst that can happen. But acknowledge how brave we all are for going through this. Everyday we get up and face the challenges in front of us.

[Hidden in reply to Pingu]

Hi Pingu,

great reply. Yes, I used to have really bad panic attacks and I used to take myself to the hospital a few times thinking I was having an heart attack, and had awful symptoms. I was on my own once at home and it came out of nowhere, I got the phone in my hand ready to call 999 and unlocked the door thinking that the paramedics will need to get it when if I am dead! Of course it passed, but it wasn't the first time I had these situations.

The meeting with the boss or supermarket story was metaphorically speaking and yes your right, it's different when you have nasty attacks.

The main thing I was saying was that there's always a reason for why you do have anxiety. Ie, reason behind the reason, the root cause and I think by talking about the cause in a therapeutic context usually helps... etc.

I do know about depression and have successfully treated people who were suicidal and at some point tried a few times to do it. Depression or clinical depression or any other sinister mental conditions I've worked with and I know the effects. I hope you are well and keep going, because you deserve to be free from it!!

All the best!!

[Hidden in reply to Pingu]

Its so sad that people do not understand or more compassionate it makes me sad at times an isolated but getting better!

[Hidden]

Hi Jhon

I feel really sad when Pingu says that people kill themselves for anxiety and depression cause it s true.unfortunately anxiety is a bad big monster.your suggestion is good cause in reality nothing bad is going to happen to us,it s just our fear knocking at the door.I couldn't t understand till few weeks ago about all of this but I think the solution for panick attack is very inDividual.we all different and we all have to find different ways to cope with anxiety and we need out time .I know how there all feeling,when it s time to face the fear everybody panick and run away or they avoiding to face their fear till something click in their head.i m personally nearly there,I m facing my fear everyday now I m not avoiding it anymore.but just because I found my personal way.hope one day every single person on this website will find a way to face the fears but it doesn't t happen straight away.

[LilMissWin]

I'm afraid I have to agree with Pingu. Your comments, are obviously well meant and the result of many years of study and knowledge. However, they are just words when, out of the blue you are sitting on your own (even if you have family/friends with you), your heart thumping out of your chest, pins and needles running down your left arm and a god awful feeling that you are about to die. All this and for no reason you can think of. It takes an enormous amount of positive thinking to overcome this and even more when it happens continually. Sorry for the negative comment, this lady is, today, fed up of pills, potions, vitamins, teas, meditation, breathing techniques, exercise, positive thoughts and kind, well meaning words. This lady just wants to live a 'normal' life, one where she isn't described by her children as being in 'one of mum's moods'!

[davjon in reply to LilMissWin]

Hi, I can understand completely. I regularly get fed up of everything and want to live a normal life. Sometimes I want to ditch the tablets because I think they are making me worse and get depressed when I can't even take the kids up to bed because I'm frightened of my heart pounding from walking up the stairs.

I always tell myself that tomorrow is another day and it will be better.

[Hidden in reply to LilMissWin]

Oh how I agree with you! The thing that gets me is especially family an most friends do not understand an every night you pray that it will be a better day an that you have an appetite! I just want to quit having them . X