Scared of being judged

For the majority of my high school experience, I have hated school. This is because I have always been scared of what others will think of me, I feel judged to the point I will avoid school as much as possible. I can never truly be myself, it's like people are always laughing at me or making fun of how I am etc. To prevent this from occurring, I stay in bed all day, feeling alone so I won't have to face the comments people make. This would of course, result in bad attendance and grades but I don't know what to do otherwise. People always call me lazy and other things that lowers my self-esteem even more. I feel so alone all the time and I'm scared I wont get anywhere in life. I don't have many friends, they're all moving forward whereas i'm left behind, wondering what to do. I am not intelligent or capable of anything, I really don't know what to do anymore.

[Agora1]

nessa12, we all have something inside us that we excel in. It's a matter of finding that talent as well as self confidence as you mature. High school is a difficult time for many. (as it was for myself) It's a time of learning who we are and what we will become. Don't worry if it all doesn't make sense right now, it will happen in it's own time. And....never put yourself down or you will start to believe it. xx

[Hidden in reply to Agora1]

Hi Agora1, thank you for your reply! I am sorry for being so negative, I just dread getting out of bed everyday when it's for school. I hope there is something I might be good at, it's just hard to figure it out when everyone seems to have a bad opinion on me. Thank you for the advice xx

[superstarkirblondie]

I used to be bullied at school too because one of my ex-best friends who left told everyone that I had said terrible things about them. They all ended up ignoring me for years and I never got invited to anything and no one wanted to pick me for their team or to be in their group. I was also skipping a lot of school and my attendance was really bad. Then this new girl came and told me it wasn't me who was the problem but the school. She also really hated it and ended up moving to a different school halfway through the year. She gave me the confidence to move school after sitting my IGCSEs to the same school she moved to. It was one of the best decisions I have ever made. The teachers and school environment was much more friendly and caring, I even made a whole bunch of friends who helped me out with my studies. I am not sure if this is the right solution for you but it is something I would consider doing if I was you.

[Hidden in reply to superstarkirblondie]

Thank you for replying and the advice you have given. I'm sorry you had to go through that. X

[Findingme]

Well who would want to be like a group of rude people who cannot control their mouths? Not me. Ok, it feels great to be accepted, but try to find people you respect and gain their acceptance, not these high school nasties who obviously have nothing in their heads except making others feel bad in order ot bolster their own weedy egos. If you can get up each day and go to school and learn to ignore their taunts it will stand you in good stead. How do you think politicians carry on every day, with the amount of critical comments they get in the media, or famous people who become targets of pathetic trolls who fire off unpleasant tweets from the safety of their boring little bedrooms. They do it by having self-belief, and by not dwelling too long on the negatives. not to say become a politician. They can sometimes be just as bad in their own way if they take self-belief too far.

As for it being the school that is the problem, well ok, sometimes the environment is partly to blame. If you can move then all well and good, but if you cannot put the past behind you, you may take the problems with you. Acting all hurt and wary of people is the worst way to transition to a new place. You have to shake off these feelings and start over as the person you were before these trolls started to upset you.

At the end of the day the only person you really need to accept you is yourself. Be as good a YOU as you can be and you will not care, or need the acceptance of others. This means getting enough sleep, but not too much, working at what is important to you, and finding out what makes you happy, not what you can do to make others happy (unless they are people you care about, and then only in moderation).

[Hidden in reply to Findingme]

Hi, thank you for the reply. I will take on your advice and hopefully learn to stop taking their comments so personal. Thank you for understanding