broken

[anxiousalexis]

i wrote 7months ago about my dog getting sick. A week ago he had a seizure that was bad. My family and I had to make the hard decision of putting him down. I have not been handling it well. I am broken and empty. I can’t see my life without my baby. He was my christmas gift when I was 6. I just turned 20 in March. I found so much comfort in him with my anxiety. I have other dogs but they’re more my parents. This guy was my number one and this heartbreak is unbearable. I don’t know what to do. Part of me wants to go with him. I know that’ll be wrong. I would never hurt myself. But it just makes me so trapped because life just feels weird now. It’s not the same. I hear the same things “you didn’t want him to suffer.” “you gave him the best life.” “he’ll always be with you.” this stuff just isnt helping as much. idk what I need to do to feel better. I’ve cried to my mom, grandma, and cousin. Ive gone out but there’s nothing that will get my mind off this. I don’t want people or me to move on from my dog. He was too special. He was literally part of me. I feel a part of me died with him. I can’t handle this. I know I need help.

[anxiousalexis]

i just cant accept that he’s gone. he went with me everywhere, slept with me, listened to me.. i just can’t see myself being like this with any other dog. he’s my baby, my sidekick, my best friend. And it kills me to know Im never gonna have him physically for the rest of my life. I hate saying this and feeling like this but if i were to ever die, part of me would be happy bc i would be with him again

[anxiousalexis]

if you don’t understand grief over a pet and not sensitive towards it, please don’t respond. i don’t need to be triggered more

[Bird-67]

I am so sorry for your loss of your beloved dog and friend.

You are grieving the same way as we would grieve for a family member as that’s what he was to you.

My daughter is going through exactly the same emotions as you at the moment as she lost her precious oldest dog a few weeks ago. He was a few days off from his 16th birthday which he shared with my daughter too.

She has other dogs too but he was her little lamb that followed her everywhere and knew when she was unwell etc etc.

Try to remember all the happy times you had with him over all those years and hopefully soon you will be able to smile when thinking of them.

Take care xx

[anxiousalexis in reply to Bird-67]

thank you. it’s so hard. he was just so healthy 7months ago. idk what happened. i really expected him to atleast go until he was 17. He was 14. I know I cant control these things but i can’t wrap my head around this. thank you for your kind words. i hope your daughter finds peace and comfort. cause that’s what im hoping to find

[JAYnLA]

You are having real grief, my friend. It's only been a week... this is going to take a bit more time. Spend time with people if you can - that helped me when I had to put my dog down. I also tried to not be home so much at first because that's where I felt his absence the most.

[anxiousalexis in reply to JAYnLA]

yes. i’ve been going to work with my parents. they own their own business so im blessed for that. everything reminds me of him though. this just doesnt feel real. it’s crazy. thank u for replying. i really appreciate it. hoping to get thru this and keep my doggie in my heart peacefully and enjoy life again

[Hidden]

I'm sorry for your loss. I've had to put him down last week after 11 years living with us. It was a sad moment which I couldn't handle for the past days. Now I'm not saying that I'm ok but as days are passing I had to accept that he's gone now. Sometimes I feel that he's still with us but unfortunately not. So sorry for you mate.

[anxiousalexis in reply to Hidden]

thank you. im sorry for your loss. i believe we do see them again when it’s our time. they’re more than just animals. they’re family and companions

[Hidden in reply to anxiousalexis]

Exactly, that was my thought also. Take care.

[DemureRose]

I’m so so sorry for your loss! I’m not sure what’s worse, losing your pet in an accident or making that tough decision. You’ve read my post about my baby and know I totally get it. He was literally my baby.

We adopted him and another dog four years ago in September. He was so skittish but for some reason really bonded with me. He was my little shadow and my cuddle bug. We later learned he faced unimaginable abuse in his last “home” so that made us love him even more. We just wanted to take care of him.

However the past few months he’d gone downhill. We’ve had to get him into diapers because of some kidney trouble and learned he had a cognitive issue. Basically doggy dementia is what I call it. He would just wander everywhere and never knew where he was. It was horrible to watch and I horribly found myself wishing for him to just let go. But I definitely didn’t want him to go like he did.

Because I did everything for him, there are now pieces missing from my day. I always had to carry him outside and now I can’t. I’d always wake up to him curled up by my back or even on my head the little cutie. That’s what I miss most. Those little moments. It’s just hard when he was such a big part of me. So I totally understand.

If you ever need to talk to anyone please talk to me. Maybe we can try and get through this horrible time together.

[anxiousalexis in reply to DemureRose]

both are terrible. dogs just deserve to live longer happier lives. but sadly life doesnt work like that and it sucks. we’re definitely gonna get thru it. our babies will always be in our hearts. they’ll never be forgotten. us grieving just shows how much they were loved and will always be loved. ive heard that dogs come back in our lives at some point. my sister lost her dog last year and recently has been fostering one that is the perfect mix of her childhood dog and that dog. so im trying to hold on to that hope too. life sucks right now and feels sooo different. our anxiety forsure doesnt help with this. im gonna see my therapist again to help me with this bc i just feel so alone without my baby and it’s really getting in the way of me doing normal things. our doggies are in a better place, being their complete selves. no dementia. no seizures for mine. they’re just happy waiting for us to be even happier. we’re gonna be okay. but it’s okay to not be okay right now. take as long as you need to feel this pain. ive been crying to my mom and that’s the only thing that makes me feel just a tad better. expressing it helps. so writing on here and talking about it is just one step into healing. we got this

[DemureRose in reply to anxiousalexis]

I’m holding on to this. I do believe sometimes that animals come back and I hope so much that he comes back. I know I can get through this I’m just ready for it to get easier.