Before bedsies (off of Zoloft day 17?)

Like I said earlier, work was good. Everyone was so nice.

When walking there, I experienced what I think was depersonalization. I was scrambling to remember if I had been in the park by my work recently.. I was so sure I was in that area recently. I must have been having nightmares of it, or something. I’ve been doing CBT therapy where I envision areas and replace the bad panic thoughts with calmness.. I’m sure this + Zoloft caused some weirdness.

So yah! Lasted the shift entirety, took the subway home. I did it. I stopped at the gym and my favorite cake shop... biked 4+ miles and felt that endorphin rush.. I missed it! Treated myself to cake and pizza 😂

Had dinner with my roommate ❤️ she helps me. She has bipolar 2 and assured me that my worst day before I left was not psychosis but she said she was scared by how inconsolable I was during the panic. I was soooo scared of disease! So many tears. She helped!

I was still nervous, thinking of the idiot who misdiagnosed me Monday. I seriously keep reevaluating my every move.. It scares me! But then I remember everyone who says I show no signs of it.

My roommate was thankful I did not see him when I got my actual panic disorder diagnosis. Can you imagine being misdiagnosed??? God...

Anywho.. I’m tired and I have work in the AM.

Also, I went to the dentist and have no cavities. My only health issues are my fears of fears and.. needing to floss 😭😂

Also, my friend called for advice with her bf and I was def having odd feelings again like my brain was going blank, despite talking fine. Zoloft was fun.. not.

Goodnight ❤️

[Kkimm]

You had a really full day. You are not giving the anxiety time to get a grip so that is good.

Also important to relax and get enough sleep though. Not easy if you have a busy life and are at work.

Best wishes

Kim

[Hidden in reply to Kkimm]

Thank you!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[Bilabong]

Is it worse or getting better since you came off zoloft?

[Hidden in reply to Bilabong]

Depersonalization? Way worse. I had it one time before Zoloft. Had it on it the first week and had no idea what was up and then again as I tapered and got off.

[Bilabong in reply to Hidden]

I had this same feeling when I quit ct. Im new to this sensation and it felt so wierd. I used think i was possessed.

[Hidden in reply to Bilabong]

Me too!!!!!!!!!!!! Omg I thought I was going mental! Ok, how long til it’s gone?

[Bilabong in reply to Hidden]

Varies from person to person. I quit mid feb:

Feb- end of march - brain zaps

April - depersonalization, extreme panic upon waking up in the morning, mood swings that could almost be termed criminal. Anxiety & depression throughout the day.

May beginning- symptoms start subsiding.

Now- occasional anxiety and mild panic that i can control, usually not lasting more than an hour or 2 at most. Shortness of breath has gone. Its mostly mild irritability now not centered around any particular cause.

(Im currently unemployed and at home most of the time, so that definitely did not help.)

Hopefully ill be 'my usual self' by mid-end june, for the first time without meds in 11 months. Feels like waiting for christmas holidays😂. Hopefully yours will arrive earlier.

[Hidden in reply to Bilabong]

Oh you poor poor thing!!!

I got my first brain zap yesterday. And weirdly enough, right when I typed this lol

For me, I got depersonalization once before Zoloft and god it scared me. On Zoloft, it was wild in the first week. Then I got it and derealization throughout but I didn’t know what it was.. I felt like I couldn’t focus and like I didn’t know where I was. Two weeks off, BAM. Derealization, depersonalization... feeling like I can’t process or like my memories are disconnected. My mood swings were sad to calm this week.. I threw my phone last week and screamed and I never do that

I’m so glad you’re feeling better, finally. It definitely gives me hope. We will get through it!!!!

[Bilabong in reply to Hidden]

Honestly, i can stay at home till this is cured and i wouldnt be bothered. The reason it is bothering me, is because im doing a course in computer applications and have my first sem in July, and have a huge syllabus to cover. Add to that im also learning Japanese and my second year exams are coming up in June. Initially all was well and I was studying ahead. Now, i have 3 months backlog for both and this worry is contributing to my anxiety no end.😭😧