Need health anxiety reassurance :(

Why is it that I keep going back and forth between feeling reassured by doctors and being terrified of both physical and mental diseases that I don’t have?

I put myself into a nervous state this morning because Zoloft makes me feel weird, and I’m weaning off, and my anxiety makes me feel weird. I seriously struggle so bad with depersonalization and derealization; it’s gotten worse since starting Zoloft.

I’ve made progress but I’m so scared of diseases.

I keep getting terrified of psychosis and schizophrenia to the point where I am afraid I’ll start to hear voices or see things. My psychotherapist keeps assuring me I’m fine, a friend of mine who is a psychotherapist said I don’t have either, and two psychiatrists said I’m showing no signs. Why does anxiety do this to me?

I’ve been taking time off of work to focus on my mental health and today I’m just so nervous being by myself. I don’t like being alone. My boyfriend gets home in a little over four hours and I’m trying to keep busy until then.

I’ve been making progress. I used to not be able to spend this much time alone without freaking out.

Zoloft just makes me feel so weird. I don’t even know how to explain it. Like, I have those vivid dreams that feel so so real, but I feel like so loopy when I wake up from them. Like I can’t stop thinking of them/can’t shake the feeling of them. I feel distant now and I was watching my favorite show earlier and literally felt like super distant from it but like it was familiar at the same time. I have been dreaming about everything lately, so I’ll sometimes look at something and be instantly reminded of a dream I had. Before, I seriously convinced myself I had epilepsy but after talking to the doctor and running tests, I think it’s really just weird depersonalization since everything came back normal.

I had the weirdest thing happen earlier when I was doing my hair where my face almost looked unfamiliar and then I started panicking and got freaked out. It was weird. Then I started to see similarities between my boyfriend’s ex from years ago and me and I got super insecure and like freaked out. He’s given me no reason to be insecure but I’m a loser and saw her Facebook yesterday and it made me feel anxious.

I don’t know, I just need reassurance. Do I sound like I’m losing it or is it just anxiety?

[dbeck128]

I would like to start off by apologizing because it seems no one has gotten to reply yet!

I can relate in so many ways. But I am currently struggling with all that you've said with health anxiety and losing it

I really think it's the anxiety because we haven't lost it yet! Lol

I once read that the more worried you are of losing your mind the more unlikely you are to lose it. The ones losing it doesn't even know ots happening...

Just relax and tell yourself all is okay.

I try to remind myself that even though it feels real that anxiety can give us the illusion it's happening when in reality it's just our mind playing games with us

[Hidden in reply to dbeck128]

You’re totally right. Thanks so much for your response! It was much needed. I actually also read that it’s a common anxiety fear! We got this!!

[vbp123]

Hi. I feel for you. Stay strong. You are ok.

I think maybe a little plan or "to do list" will help you to take your mind of unpleasant sensations and thoughts.

For me going to work is better than sitting at home on my own.

Try cycling, walking in the park/forest etc. Try accupancture, massage....

We are very resilient, you will pull through.

Good luck.

[Hidden in reply to vbp123]

You’re right. I’ve been overcoming agoraphobia but it’s been getting easier. Staying at home alone SUCKS and definitely adds to the anxiety! Thanks soooo much