So scared of dying and death

[Sugarplum1811]

Hi there,

Im currently suffering from some serious health anxiety as I am presenting with a lot of unexplained and confusing symptoms which I have explained in my previous post, but this post I want to speak about my fear of death.

I am so scared and frightened by the thought of me dying or anyone close to me like my mum/dad/brother/boyfriend. I understand that death is something that everyone goes through and it’s inevitable. I just can’t seem to accept it though.

I recently lost my granddad last October due to old age and contracting meningitis. He was the first loss I have ever suffered and it was very painful. Ever since then I have been scared of death and the thought of it scares me.

Sometimes my thoughts gets so bad that I’m scared to sleep as I think I will die in my sleep or randomly combust into flames! I’ve managed to put these thoughts away although sometimes they flare up again.

I don’t know why I am so scared to die. I think it’s because it’s something I can’t control and it hurts me to think how I will never see my loved ones again and the impact I would leave on my family if I did end up dying. FAlso I want to be able to do things like get married and have kids and exploring the world before passing away.

I am only 19 but every time I scroll through my Facebook or see what’s trending on google, it’s always something to do with death and it scares me. Reading about a fit and healthy teen who randomly had a cardiac arrest or a student who ate 5 day old pasta and died from food poisoning or someone randomly getting stabbed on the street. It scares me to think this can happen to anyone at any time.

I don’t know how to get over my fear of death as right now it’s affecting me more than ever. Normally i’d be able to put that thought to the back of my mind but these days it’s all I can think about.

I’m crying almost every day thinking about it and I’m driving my family and boyfriend crazy as they’ve tried to explain to me time and time again that death isn’t something you can avoid by being scared of it and it will happen to everyone eventually.

If anyone is going through similar and has any advice they can give me on how to manage these awful thoughts then I would be really grateful, thank you.

[Hidden]

Hi been through many scary symptoms and the fear of death. As I’m getting a lot better this fear has almost gone. Anxiety will trick your mind into thinking the most horrendous thoughts. Take care your not alone. 💕

[Sugarplum1811 in reply to Hidden]

Hi, thank you for your response.

It means a lot just to know people are going through similar situations. I’m trying not to let it affect me too much but I still can’t manage to get rid of the thought

Do you have any strategies that work for you?

[Hidden in reply to Sugarplum1811]

I didn’t really have any strategies, time and walking a lot has worked for me. I did see a therapist as well.

[Hidden]

Hi. I’ve definitely had this fear and also broke down in tears over it many times. I work through it mostly by coming to believe that my Creator will determine my death and the death of my loved ones. That when that happens, my Creator will surround me with support and love to get through it. I also believe that death is not the end of existence and I have seen many near death experience videos that confirm this. I focus on the present day and try to be as productive with my time as possible. I also take a low dose of Lexapro that has helped me keep anxiety at bay.

[Dperez1223]

Yea I go through it everyday scared of dying or getting a sickness where I won’t be able to take care of my son I’m a single mom so I need to be healthy think about it all day

[Hidden]

Hi Simrran - these awful thoughts are very likely part of your general health condition with the severe vitamin D levels. The fear of death is very common even occurring in children as young as three or four in connection with loss of a family member. As you are so sensitive to social media networks and news concerning sudden deaths and may be also TV news footage, if it were me, I would cut down on social media networking. Grief is a painful event but I know that when you grieve, you have to think would the person you lost want you to suffer so much with grief or would they want you to remember them and send their love to move on and enjoy your life. Loss may be difficult to rationalise - it is such an emotional reaction. it can take a life time to forget. It was not until I had grandchildren I realised my mind was stuck in a painful groove, and now I had to think of the next generation and make the best of every day. Your boyfriend is supporting you but does not understand how the grief has been with you every day. I never had counselling but reckon if I had the courage to go through some sort of counselling it may or not have worked. If the therapy involves going over the past this can actually make your thoughts be relived over and over again so you cannot move on. Your family need you and with improvement in your physical health, you may be able to cope better with the negative thoughts.

[littlemissworry]

I couldn't relate to you anymore, the thoughts and feelings, reading those news stories. It is so hard but I have seen my GP and starting CBT sessions, tried very hard to stay away from alcohol and social media. Social media is the worst, so addictive yet depressing, same as the news. In my spare time I watch happy, what I call "normal" programmes, like friends. And I know it can be difficult to stay focused too and not start scrolling through your phone again etc. I have also had a close family member pass in the last few weeks and I haven't been able to stop bothering my husband and family members to check they are okay and been petrified to eat anything in case it makes me sick.

I so feel your pain and am sorry you're going through this also. Trying to control the constant worrying over things you can't control almost seems impossible now but I really hope you find something that helps x