**maybe a trigger**

[Kevin160]

Hey everyone.. today my mom's cousin died ..he was in his 50s ..so not that old ..he was ok .. nothing even wrong with him ..then suddenly he went to bed and didnt wake up ..weird how someone can just be totally ok one day and then suddenly..bam blood clot ..just whenever i feel a tiny bit better .. something has to happen ..

I feel life hates me ..

On top of that in school today we took this big ass lesson in english class about heart attacks..yes english class..see how whenever i think of smth life just testa me over again

To add on more ..my father just came home and started talking about his friend who was in the ICU in the hospitak because he had a heart condition ...

After i overcame these past 3 months ..i would pick something else to panic over or things happen that worry me ..im aware i cant stop things from happening but like i didnt want to hear that today ... I'm just soo tired of all the panic and anxiety .. accepting it makes it feel much better ..but the heart palpitations just make me feel out of breath and panicky ..i just keep thinking about not being able to take the pressure of life ...

My chest just hurts and i dont feel well

Im even tired to talk ...

I know it takes time and last time i felt even worse and gotten much much better..but its just very hard when you get over the thing that you thought was impossible such as my blood pressure and pulse obsession and then getting something new that makes you also feel like its impossible to overcome like constant health anxiety and death anxiety and panic attacks

My family says im doing better though ..o guess thats good..

[Icanbeathis2016]

Wow, you sound like me. I'm sorry that these things have happened that brings your anxiety from 0 to 100. I am the same way, soon as I try to get over one thing, something else just has to happen that brings me right back to worrying. Especially when hearing about someone passing away. And I to have gained bad habits and obsessive behaviors from anxiety like constantly checking my self and body, etc.

I have a few videos on YouTube so far that I talk about anxiety and my journey. I share my fears and my experience with anxiety. I wanted to show my face show who I am as I discuss anxiety. And ironically a few of my videos I talk exactly about what you were just saying. Check out my YouTube channel if you'd like. I hope it helps to know you are not alone. 😊 feel free to watch

youtube.com/channel/UCnL8f1...

[RaisingArrowsMama]

Hi Kevin! It sounds like you are having a really rough time with your anxiety issues. I know how hard that can be and it is a very scary thing to deal with. I pray you are able to find peace and healing, with the help of your family and medical team, but I also want to encourage you to seek healing through prayer. One thing that has helped me and other friends, is knowing that ultimately God is in control, and He can and will pull me through all the hard parts of life as long as I seek Him and grow in my relationship with Him. God loves you and doesn't want you to be a slave to all the horrible "what if's" and the anxiety they carry, but that you are able to live your life and enjoy it fully, while trusting that He has things under control and that when things do happen. Praying for you!!