My psychotherapist told me that I was born in a non-suitable ecosystem. My mother was very stressed up during her pregnancy, she had problems with my father especially financially. Although I have no doubt she loved me very much, she didn't have much time to look after me because she had to work to make ends meet, my grandmother looked after me much to her dislike, because she didn't have the patience to deal qith children, plus I was a bit naughty I must admit, I used to hide her sewing box all the time. My sisters weren't interested in me, the age gap is five and 8 years difference so at times I felt like a burden. I went out to the streets to look for friends, I enjoy my time more out than at home, because I got more attention. So my therapist thinks that that's enough reason to explain why I have since a young age suffered from anxiety. If I would have been born to a more secured, relaxed, welcoming ecosystem perhaps I wouldn't have developed anxiety and fears.
Now, I would like to ask you, if any of you can think if their circumstances at home were similar to mine, I am trying to work out if the ecosystem we are conceived and born to made us prone to become anxiety sufferers.
Many thanks.
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I have heard that our anxiety develops from things that happened in our lives from ages 1-5. I would agree with your therapist. I too grew up in a home similar to yours. Only I didn’t get to be with my grandma.
Thank you for your response, the reason why I ask is because it would be interesting to find out if there are a lots of anxiety sufferers with the same kind of background.
The answer is "YEP!" probably from a number of your question.
And feel rather confused that your physiotherapist is placing your anxiety on his list of fauna and flora Have you asked exactly what type of education and how long he was educated in this field?
Your question took years back to my own path to prove to myself that while I would like the attention, it wasn't going to happen. I yearned to creative skills, such as learning to sew....I mean big-time sew, graphic arts; experatamated a bit in wood create interest sculpture, Tried evening classes in the arts and theatre to learned to be around,
,I was reviewing it with my feelings or accomplishment found ways to achieve in ways I found satisfaction. Was born into a large family of 10, where the efficiency of completing all every day just to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed/dried, the care of the animals of a small farm,
Most families have a similar checklist of a demanding life. Family's don't seem to notice or appreciating your efforts....they are used to them being done.
Maybe you could bein an evening by each member commenting on what another accomplished
And please explored some volunteer work, learn to cycle with a club, art, chess, Anything you would like and ignore the family's lack f attention. Book yourself time for your "passion", stain glass work, motorcycle, Just try one after another on till you hit the right one for you.
Best wishes...even do yoga for your body limbering and strengthening and very accomplished when your feet reach your head from behind. xoxo
Thank you for your response, it was very informative. My psychotherapist told me about the ecosystem as a way to explaining where my generalized anxiety and fear of death comes from. On the other hand, my sisters don't suffer from anxiety and I believe they experienced arriving into this world when both of my parents were happier (they are older than me), perhaps that explains why they are not anxiety sufferers.
I keep myself busy and I have a few hobbies that I enjoy very much.
Thank you about the Yoga advice, I don't think I would ever be able to reach my head behind with my feet, my body structure won't let me Yoga it's very good for anxiety too.
I read your story and felt that my upbringing was similar to yours.
I did come from a large family of 12 siblings!
I am 4th from the bottom.
My dad was an alcoholic .My mother (May God Bless her soul) had a tough time looking after us all plus assisting with my grand parents who lived with us as well.
I was never included in anything at home.
I started to work part time art 14 year old as a sales man in a shoe store to help out at home.
I can go on for a long time telling you of my upbringing however I just wanted you to know that I also developed Anxiety and nervousness from an early age.
I am still leaning to cope ,
You are not alone.
I wish you the very best.
Take care,
I
Not sure your psychotherapist was there at the time before you were born. This is an generalised assumption. An eco system is not exactly like the human womb!
Expect your inner sensitivity makes you more emotionally sensitive, being able to empathise with others. Expect you have had successful moments in your life and relationships but may be it is your adult relationships which are more difficult to deal with, as though your family had struggles, you were cheeky and naughty and happy in your grandmother's care. I don't know of any kid who doesn't play trick on their parents.
I guess it is too much input with so many demands being made on you , it is difficult to keep calm and multi task especially if you have a family, or are working. So many people are under stress with other external problems they can do nothing about. I guess it is the care you receive now, which is important, as if you are on medication and it isn't working or you have not been offered any other way of helping your confidence. Cognitive behaviour therapy, or assertion therapy, might help to help you stand your ground, and answer back in a polite reasoned manner.
Expect you are hiding your inner feelings of anxiety and probably appear calm cool and collected. You are right to question your psychotherapist's comments - perhaps he/she needs a new eco system to make her think logically. Ha!
Thank you for your reply hawii60. The reason why I asked other members about their background it's to find out if the home you were born contributes to develop anxiety. I would be curious if people that were born in happy households, where they were given security, reassurance and comfort by their parents would be as prone to develop anxiety disorders. It's a kind of my own research and the fact that I found about the ecosystem was because I ask my psychotherapist why I developed anxiety, insecurities and fear, and to make the most of my sessions I asked for explanations and he came out with the ecosystem issue, I never thought of that but it kind of makes sense to me.
I can see that an eco system might seem appealing - it's just that birth is such a personal experience with the mother baby bond, the male perspective of your therapist is avoiding the most important subject of early interaction between mother and her baby. If eco system means environmental factors, then I can't see that your environment was so bad your development was affected. Many people grow anxious and insecure when they start a new study course and start to live away from their families. There are also hidden unresolved anxieties and depression from bereavements, or a family problem where somehow the relationship is not working. Social media with stereotypes of popular culture, can influence youngster under 12 and if they are being bullied online, they might develop acute depression and be unable to cope. I am sure there are many children who have happy and secure environments, even if as babies, they had experienced in womb effects, who do not develop anxiety and depression in later life. It might be worth looking at psychological studies of the later effects of intrauterine problems and anxiety states.
Most people know how their anxiety and depression occurs in response to their lives but severe anxiety does affect your body as well as your mind. If you want to find out
if there was a crucial moment that triggered your symptoms, then may be regression
with hypnotherapy with a medically qualified practitioner might help. Sometimes people find certain types of post traumatic therapy can actually make their problem worse, and may be able to move on, by focussing on the happy moments, of their lives, and activities, and hobbies which increase their well being. I do hope you find out what you are looking for.
Thank you. I don't think regression is an option. I went to family constellations group once and I was left traumatized by other people's regressions. Thankfully I kept myself grounded and didn't participate, but not a very good experience. Therapy is working for me, it's helping me to understand my anxiety and fears, and next thing would be meditation.
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