Desperate that my daughter doesn't follow the same path as me :(

1st - hello!

2nd - You are all great on this site :)

3rd – situation: advice about the success of hypnosis and the effective treatment of panic attacks.

I've lived with anxiety and depression for the last 40 years.

When our 2nd child was born, Isabel, I knew from the first moment I held her in my arms that sadly, she had it too (our eldest has escaped it completely).

I did think with all my experience that I would be able to steer her through. But, by and large, everything I went through at her age, so has she also, albeit perhaps to a lesser degree.

Now at 19, she is a capable, intelligent, articulate young woman: but increasingly restricted by anxiety, to the point where it is slowly becoming a main consideration in her decision making processes to do with her future. Her current crisis is panic attacks, generally sparked off by separation anxiety. And for those of us who know how this feels, this is not simply 'home sickness'.

To put it mildly, my heart is breaking. There isn't anything she feels, says, thinks or does that I haven't already 'been there and done that' with.

The good news however, is that by her age I also had full on depression and so far, I see no real evidence of this in her. (You can imagine, I have everything crossed!!!!!)

So, to get to my request for your advice: Has anyone had experience with Hypnosis for the treatment of panic attacks?

I have been taking medication for more years than I care to remember, without an end in sight and I am so keen for her to try and avoid this route if possible. Please don't misinterpret this: medication has its place, without a doubt.

Could you please share any thoughts or experiences you have with this - could it help? Do you have to keep having it indefinitely?

:) Thank you!

7 Replies

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  • My son started having similar problems that I have. I stopped giving details and symptom swapping. I told him to get a medical check up and to see a therapist who is knowledgeable about panic disorder, agoraphobia and depression. Everyone is different and will have their own experiences. I do tell him often that there is hope and plenty of options for treatment.

    Hope the very best for you and yours.

    Tamra

  • Hi Tamra,

    Thank you for your sensible advice - I appreciate it.

    Mary x

  • Hi Mary, Please dont worry about passing anything onto your children. My mum and dad didnt suffer from any anxiety / OCD and i have it. I cant find anyone close in my family that could have passed it down to me via generations, etc. So please dont worry. Your daughter sounds amazing and by the sounds of it, she has a loving and caring mother and family around her.

    If at the moment she is struggling with anxiety, from my experience the best thing you can do is offer a stable and loving home and I'm sure she will be fine. If she does suffer long term with depression / anxiety then i am very cofident she will be able to get through it with strong, loving and experienced people around her.

    One of the most important things is - YOU KNOW SHE HAS IT AND SHE ISNT HIDING IT FROM YOU! You have the opportunity to offer her your stability and of course love and tell her that she will be ok. If your daughter knows she can rely on you and you are also looking after yourself to the best of your ability, making sure you are helping your anxiety, etc. I am sure she will be strong enough to cope with anything life throws at her and be confident to know she can get better if she believes she can!

    I havent tried hypnosis as i havent heard excellent things about the results. But thats not to say it wont work for you.

    I dont know if this will be of any use to you but i am looking into someone called Carl Sheppard. he was recomednded to me. Carl Sheppard has been working with anxiety sufferers for years and he offers alot of advice, as well as anxiety workshops and a book for anxiety / OCD and depression sufferers. check out his website. the information may help your daughter and you.

    Take care and please stay in touch XXXX

  • Hi Katherine,

    This is soooooo kind of you to offer such supporting advice.

    I fully agree with Tamra that everyone has their own experiences and that they are all different.

    My life while I lived with my parents could be turbulent. Not always, just often. It was unpredictable. My earliest memories are those of screaming arguments between them, followed by days of smouldering silences and bad tempered outbursts. The quintessential treading on eggshell experience I suppose. They were capable of being extremely selfish and self centered - unaware of it in fact - each fighting and struggling to have their own unfulfilled needs met. I just existed in the same confines.

    So, bang goes my theory then, and that of my psychiatrists, that the vast majority of my issues stemmed from my parents relationship with each other and with their children. Whilst I don’t suggest that the wind has never blown in our daughters face – she has certainly never experienced anything like I did. And yet she still has this.

    It's hard for me to put into words what I really mean to say. I think the closest I can come to is the hope that somehow things may have moved forward in the management of these debilitating conditions. I suppose really I hope I could find something that would get her to the stage that I am at now - where for some of the time, life is occasionally manageable - without having to go through the YEARS of wretched inner torment, distress and personal anguish that I went through. Can it be circumnavigated?

    I try to surround her with love and humour and never pre-empt an experience, but thank you for pointing out the importance of the fact that she does at least talk to me about it all :)

    Thank you Katherine !!

  • Hello.

    I'm someone who does believe that mental health problems runs in families, not that they will definitely happen just more likely...for example I found out about my mothers problems AFTER mine started at 15 (so I wasn't influenced, besides she had run off long before when I was 8)...more interesting was that, when I found her family there were high incidents of agoraphobia and alcoholism - very symptomatic of anxiety.

    As for your idea about hypnotherapy, I've recently tried it and I lean towards a positive opinion of it - my mind isn't fully made up yet because I'm waiting for my cd to maintain it, it had an effect but without maintainance it wears off...but at least I can now do what I want/need to do 2out of 3 times which is a massive improvement...another suggestion is the suzie mantel cd your present 30 minutes of peace, this is a guided meditation but I think it is also a good indicator of how well hypnotherapy will work (a relatively cheap way)...whatever methods you use though they all seem to take time - which is really annoying

    good luck both of you

  • Hi, I suffer with anxiety but i dont think i inherited it from my mum or dad. They have been fine and have not told me about any anxiety / depression issues that they have. I agree with everyone’s points on here and i hope you do take advice and do not blame yourself for whatever your daughter may be going through. She is lucky to have someone she can talk too.

    As you stated in above messages I think it is very important not to fuel someone’s anxiety or depression by bouncing off each other. Which i know you said you don’t. It is so easy when you have someone experiencing some of the same feelings as yourself to fuel each other on and make your anxiety or depression feel worse than what it actually is.

    Maybe you should both try looking into this person called Carl Sheppard. I am going to check out teh site, see what its all about. I dont like the idea of taking drugs for anxiety and try any other means to get throug my anxiety without a pill. The only reason I dont want medication is simply down to reading so many people struggling whilst on medication. So many seem unhappy and I am already struggling and dont want drugs to make me feel worse. good luck

    :- )))

  • I am a bit confused. Can anxiety be inherited? Or is it an inherent type of personality which is prone to anxiety? Can soneone clarify please? And the old debate - how much is nature or nurture?

    Bev x

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