What Does Anxiety Feel Like?

[kama24]

For the past 4 yrs I have been dealing with panic disorder and anxiety. I know everyone is different but exactly what does anxiety feel like? I have the occasional "good" day, bad days and "I'm hanging on days". I have always thought "anxiety" was a feeling of nervousness or "butterflies". I, however feel FEAR! Fear as if something bad is going to happen. FEAR where I shake and my legs feel weak. FEAR where I think I'm going to die. Anxiety, in my mind is not as severe as FEAR. Does anyone else live their days like this? The strange part is that I go to bed and I'm fairly "normal". I wake to FEAR.

[kkat37]

Me this is how I feel day in and out like I an trapped in a bad dream.

[kama24 in reply to kkat37]

Yes, and if only we could just say "ENOUGH" as my physciatrist says "the mind is the strongest organ in the body"

[Kkimm]

Hi Kama

I really do feel for you, it is so hard to have to live through that level of anxiety for 4 years.

Are you on antidepressants, or is it difficult for you to take them. I certainly felt actual fear too at times during my worst stage of suffering from Generalised Anxiety Disorder. I am now back to normal after 20 months on the antidepressant Venlafaxine.

I think alot of people feel much worse in the mornings and better by the evening. I am aware that we have a peak in cortisol just after we wake which served to make us alert and ready for the challenges of the day and was probably needed in primitive times but seems to be very unpleasant when suffering from anxiety. It is the only time I get my few remaining symptoms of breathlessness.

Whether or not you take antidepressants I have found the sure way forward is to give yourself little challenges each day and make sure you do them whether or not you feel terrified or sick or dizzy or whatever other symptoms you have.

When you have done them tell yourself you have done a great job and reward yourself with a curling up on the sofa with a hot chocolate or whatever works for you. Do not feel down if you felt even worse than expected, what counts is you did it.

You are on the road to recovery and can do it!

My thoughts are with you.

Kim

[kama24 in reply to Kkimm]

Thank you so much for your reply. I have been on Luvox for 4 years, why I don't know as it doesn't help. My problem is if the physciatrist tries a new one I get side effects. I do agree about trying small challenges. I need to try that more often. All of this "drama" started when I went off Paxil.....one big mistake!!! I was sent to an endoctrinologist as they thought I had a "nodule" on my adrenal gland. That amounted to nothing. My biggest fear is of death. The thought consumes me unfortunately. I've done a CBT course and try to apply it to my thoughts but "no go". I find some "comfort?" in the fact that there are others who can relate to what I feel.

[Kkimm in reply to kama24]

Hi Kama

I certainly know what you mean by fear of death. I had that all my life but managed to no dwell on it as I did not suffer anxiety until 20 months ago.

If Paxil worked for you before is there a reason you cannot take it again?

I also wondered if you are on a high enough dose of of your current antidepressant.

The one I take is Venlafaxine, there are alot of side effects at first but they are short lived if you feel able to live through them.

I have heard it is one that works for many people when nothing else does.

Very good luck for the future. You will get there.

Kim

[kama24 in reply to Kkimm]

I wish I could stop dwelling & thinking about my own death. It has really increased with age and that weighs heavily on my mind. I took Paxil for about 16 yrs and felt it had lessened in it's power to help me so I asked to try something different. A big mistake! (If you google Paxil withdrawls you will see what I mean). It was like nothing I'd ever gone through in my life, it also left me with very severe nausea for almost 2 yrs 24/7. Even now I get the occasional set back. After the nausea came the daily FEAR, shakes, and upsetting thoughts. Others have asked if I'd go back maybe I'd revert to near "normal". All I can say is that I'd be worried if I again had to go through the nightmare of withdrawal. I take 2 Luvox a day. It used to be 3 but it in all honesty doesn't do much. We decided to cut it down, rather than take pills I didn't need. (I tried so many different ones after Paxil) I will ask my phsyciatrist about Venlafaxine the next time I go. Thank you for your help. Kama

[Ragdoll15 in reply to kama24]

Think carefully before going on venaflexine . I am currently in the process of weaning myself off venaflexine and I am suffering awful withdrawal effects, I thought paxil was bad enough to stop taking but this is much worse. I would discuss with the psychiatrist in detail first if I was you.

[kama24 in reply to Ragdoll15]

Thanks for the heads up. Paxil withdrawal was like nothing I've ever experienced. I know that no 2 people are alike but the last thing I want on top of this daily challenge is more issues. In reality I honestly don't want to try switching meds. I will stick to the Luvox and resort to an Ativan when the going gets really out of control. Ativan I use very seldom. I just wish there was a simple answer for all of us who deal with this.

[Hidden]

What does it feel like....I like to think it's like a pest that just won't go away. It lurks in my mind waiting for a negative thought to hop on. My first panic/anxiety attack was one of the dumbest thoughts I've ever had...."What IF I stop breathing?" This was while I was rushing late to a hockey game in an area I was completely unfamiliar with and in an enormous amount of traffic. My heart raced, I began to hyperventilate, I felt like a heart attack was imminent. I never made it. I found a gas station and they called 911. After being questioned about possibly using street drugs, so empathetically (sarcasm cue here), they finally revealed it was merely anxiety.

Having suffered for over 17 or 18 years now, I find that my anxiety and panic has found ways to evolve. It is much like opening a box of horrors because when one comes, others follow or the fear (as you mentioned) of having another plague me. Sometimes for a week...sometimes for a month. It makes me completely dysfunctional as a person, a husband, and a parent. The list of symptoms that anxiety can produce is endless....those shaking legs? Common. Fear is really common...no one wants to die....and our body has entered into a mode of protection (fight or flight).

I would say most of us have great/good days, neutral days, and the terrible horrible, no good, very bad day. Sometimes we wake up with it, sometimes we wake up in the middle of the night with it, and sometimes we experience out of nowhere. You kept mentioning fear and that's truly a huge part of it. Fear is what keeps anxiety and panic around. CBT and various new methods preach doing the exact opposite: don't fear it. Embrace it, it won't kill you, and let it hang out if it wants. It doesn't get to control you. Obviously this takes a lot of time, dealing with fear, and discipline, but the pay off is you'll begin to handle anxiety or panic attacks like..."Oh, there you are, go ahead and run your course...these feelings are normal."

I think in your case, sleep is an amazing solution. You get to turn off that brain that's been thinking and letting anxiety have an opportunity to latch onto an irrational thought. Waking up, well, crap, here we go again. This again returns to CBT....changing your behavior. Maybe you wake up and better prepare yourself mentally for the challenges you face with fear, anxiety, and panic. Just a thought/opinion that might help out.

As for me, anxiety and panic are the most distressing things I've probably experienced. Torn meniscus in my knee (twice), awful colds, hangovers, broken bones....no problem. Anxiety...thank goodness I've learned a lot in the time I've had them. The fear, the symptoms that blow out of proportion, feeling like I'm losing my mind, spinning into a dizzy mess, rushing around questioning if I need medical help, breathing like a maniac, and my heart racing like it's going to stop....that's anxiety/panic for me. These things have lessened mostly as I've learned and grown with more tools to dispatch against it and all of the self-education I've done.

I'm sorry you've been feeling so much fear, but trust me, you're perfectly normal in feeling this way currently. There are so many tools that you can use (meditation, deep breathing exercises, mindfulness, exercise, CBT, and on and on) that can at least bring that fear down a notch so that during the day, you don't have to feel that. I wish you luck and hope hearing that you aren't alone in what you experience makes you feel like you've found a bunch of others that have been up and down the same path. We're always around to help, suggest, or even just listen. I hope, for a change, you awake this morning feeling some tranquility.

[kama24 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you very much for taking the time to reply! I can relate to so many things you mention. Yes, as crazy as it sounds, knowing I'm "not alone" helps to some degree. I take meds (that don't seem to help), I took a CBT course, and am currently in a support group bi weekly, I've tried just about everything you mentioned. I've been in the position where chest pain is a "heart attack" etc. It terrifies me that I'm getting older and my mind runs wild with "what ifs". Thank you for sharing it does help to some degree.

[Finglas-Boy]

Hi Kama24. Hope today is a reasonable one for you. I've always been anxious but suffered a TBI some time ago which kinda put things in a different light. Dr's told me I "died" twice which reduced the anxiety to distasteful anticipation. So I tend to think of the absolute worst that can happen, making the reality somewhat ok. TBI left me an unstable epileptic so I still get the pounding heart, panic, shivers via an aura pre episode but @ least I know it'll get better. You've gotta try & make things work for you & you alone - no one else. BW, FB 🇮🇪

[kama24 in reply to Finglas-Boy]

thank you for taking time to reply. You too have been through a lot. I guess basically all of us are different yet similar. I wake each morning and the FEAR has me wrapped up and shaking. It sometimes lessens as I get up and move around, for that I feel grateful on those days. I have tried so many techniques and meds to no avail that it is disheartening. You are correct in that we are all different. I will continue to try to deal with this. Take care.

[Finglas-Boy in reply to kama24]

You're very welcome my friend. Each day is always gonna throw up new challenges. Each time I experience an aura ie my "early warning system" that a seizure is on the way, there's no indication of the strength, length, intensity of the episode & Im always aware it could be the episode that sees me back in ICU. But taking time out by myself makes me accept & deal with as best I can the fear, concern, anticipation that comes with it. But I can only deal with it to the best of my ability; Nothing more. Give me a shout any time you feel like a chinwag. Yours, FB. 🇮🇪

[kama24 in reply to Finglas-Boy]

What you deal with on a daily basis takes a lot of courage. My thoughts go out to you. Life is a gift, one of which we don't know for how long. I often feel like a "failure" for wasting it in worry and fear. Your strength is amazing. I truly hope things will eventually get better for you.

[Finglas-Boy in reply to kama24]

All this flattery will have me a big head! But you've got just as many challenges as me, they just come in different packages. My biggest "challenge @ the mo is being well to get to Dublin for St. Patrick's Day & then I've to get down to London to see my team in a cup final! Seems there really is no rest for the wicked! (Especially the Irish wicked!!!). 🇮🇪

[kama24 in reply to Finglas-Boy]

your sense of humour is another good quality you have! March 17 will be here soon. Again you are brave to travel with the challenges you have. We here in Canada are just trying to get through winter lol If only my "FEAR" would melt like the snow eventually will.

[Willie211]

You have nothing wrong with you. Absolutely nothing. Fear is the most common human feeling. You are just human and it's exaggerated in you right now. Life gives us fear - and all of us feel it. The best way to get around this is to accept the fear. Even expect it. Expect that you will wake up tomorrow with it too - and the next day and the next. Accept it as part of your life - right now and go forward willingly - as willingly as you can. WILLINGLY. Don't fight it or analyze it. Go forward quietly and slowly and willingly. And know this - you are normal - perfectly normal - and you will get better. It's written in the stars.

[kama24 in reply to Willie211]

Thank you for replying. This seems to be my "life" now and all I can do is take one day at a time.

[Holmeydaisy]

I have felt the same way for years. I finally am getting EMDR therapy with a psychologist. This is very effective therapy for trauma and PTSD. Check it out. I have been through a great deal of therapy to lessen my fear, panic and anxiety and this is the one that is working. Daily yoga and meditation and proper nutrition and lots of water helps in a large way. All the best,

[kama24 in reply to Holmeydaisy]

I have never heard of EMDR therapy but will check it out. I think I have tried most everything else. I resort to my CBT thinking when things are bad but sadly the FEAR is very strong.

[kama24]

Exactly!! I totally hear you. It is very easy to pin it to "anxiety disorder". If only we could wave a magic wand!

[Holmeydaisy]

I found CBT was only moderately effective with the panic, fear and anxiety. The EMDR therapy is astonishingly effective. Research the Poly vagal response (vagus nerve). It plays a key role in our internal response to fear. It is an interesting area.

[kama24 in reply to Holmeydaisy]

Yes, CBT only goes so far to bring you out of a panic situation. I will look to see if anyone practices this in our city.

[Holmeydaisy in reply to kama24]

I hope you can find someone. It is very effective as the fear, panic and anxiety is often associated with an event that occurred to us in the past and is unresolved....all the best.

[kama24 in reply to Holmeydaisy]

Thank you for your kindness.

[Holmeydaisy]

Thank you. I hope you are able to find some calm. Anxiety blows!!

[kama24 in reply to Holmeydaisy]

I don't think a person who has never experienced anxiety or panic disorder could begin to imagine what some of us endure.

[Holmeydaisy in reply to kama24]

You are absolutely correct. So many people think people who suffer from anxiety, fear etc are hypochondriacs (sp?). Like they think we want to feel this way - absolutely not! It is quite sad actually that people still don't understand. Maybe someday.

[kama24 in reply to Holmeydaisy]

In the "group" I attend we often toss out comments that we are tired of hearing, like "oh just get over it" "stop thinking about it" "it can't be that bad" "surely you can make yourself stop!" need I say more?