Lack of intimacy and Anxiety - Help

[AnxietyMan41]

Okay another "help me" post.

How do we cure the not caring about intimacy? Since losing my job which brought on this anxiety 3 weeks ago I havent had the slightest urge for sex with my wife. This level of intimacy is the furthest thing from my mind for myself but I know its vital for our partners. They see us struggle all day, they are hurting too and are in need of compassion and passion. I dont want my wife suffering at any level. I see signs of her tearing down at times. I know this is common but my God I need to have sex with my wife to keep her in balance even if I dont need it myself. How do others handle this? Do you fight through the anxiety until it's over? Or do we just lay there and feel like crap for not being in the mood and everyone suffers? Please let me know how you all handle this?

Mike

[Hidden]

anxiety doesn’t make you care less about intimacy, but it can lower libido. thinking of sex as something you’re obligated to do, will make you end up dreading it. If you haven’t talked to your wife about, you may want to do that. there’s different kinds of intimacy and confiding in your partner about your thoughts and feelings is a form of intimacy and it can help with your anxiety. you could also talk to a doctor if you think it’s a serious problem.

[AnxietyMan41 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you Katiekat1091 I appreciate your feedback. My wife understands my anxiety and supports me over the top. I feel I owe her passion but I just dont have it in me with anxiety and when rested and relaxed or seni relaxed I fear getting over alert again. I just want to get the mood. I have no issues with it other than my anxiety.

Mike

[Hidden in reply to AnxietyMan41]

no problem, I have a very low drive too so I get it but just know that you never owe anyone your body even if you marry them. you’ll be ready when your ready.

[Sasical]

Hi there Mike

I totally understand where you're coming from as I've had this problem too. I think It's not so much the anxiety in itself but the pressure you put on yourself, the more time passes, the more you feel you "should be" having sex. Speak to your wife and explain that when you are going through a period like this you don't feel like sex because you're not feeling well. We wouldn't be expected to have sex if we had slme other illness yet with anxiety it's as if we have to pretend all is well. Take this pressure off yourself and you might even find that your anxiety diminishes. Good luck!

[AnxietyMan41 in reply to Sasical]

Thank you for replying. I appreciate it. I just feel guilty even though my wife understands.

[kenster1]

I can relate big time to what you wrote no question I blame the medication.

[AnxietyMan41]

Mine isn't the meds it's my anxiety. I cant focus on anything but worry.