Loneliness

[Meredyn]

I feel so isolated by anxiety and how small my world has become that it's tearing me apart. I now have very little human to human contact. It makes things feel so pointless. I really want to find a way out of this mess, but I despair that it's too late now - especially as I've reached middle age. Can anyone of a similar age or older relate?

[kenster1]

hi your never to old to make new friends and its never to late to get back on track.cant you venture out and meet new friends.

[gggg123]

I know what you mean but honestly you have to try and change it.

[Pearlsnlacay]

Hi, Meredyn,

We have a lot in common from what it sounds like. I'm not sure what I'm going to do with myself after my daughter moves out. It's going to be a tough road if things stay the way they are... How old are you? Maybe we can at least be friends online/penpals. I NEED people I can talk to, and helping others gives me a purpose.

Talk soon

[Cat33 in reply to Pearlsnlacay]

That's a great idea good luck

[Cocoon3 in reply to Pearlsnlacay]

I like your idea of PenPals !!! 💕

I’m almost 50, sometimes I act like I’m 16 and sometimes I act like I’m 106.

[Meredyn in reply to Pearlsnlacay]

That would be simply lovely, Pearlsnlacay. I would really like that.☺ Thank you so much for reaching out to me. I'm just about to turn 50. It's tough when the children leave, I know. My son is now living and working away (he's 23). Speak soon!❤

[Cat33 in reply to Meredyn]

I'm so glad you have had some nice replies and hope that yiu will form good friendships

Take care remember you are not alone with this forum ❤️xx

[Meredyn in reply to Cat33]

Thank you so much, Cat! It's so very reassuring.❤

[Cat33 in reply to Meredyn]

Count me in for your friends would love to keep in touch xx

[Meredyn in reply to Cat33]

Thank you so much, Cat - I certainly will!☺❤

[Cat33]

Yes I can but don't despair you can get well and live a happy life again no matter what age

Please please listen to Dr Claire Weekes her videos are on You Tube she will give you strength and motivation to get rid of horrible anxiety Her words are so comforting If you listen to her on a daily basis her words will get into your brain and give you strength to get your life back on track

Take care and all the very best xx

[Cocoon3 in reply to Cat33]

Wow!! I never heard of Dr Claire Weekes

I will have to check her out

[Cat33 in reply to Cocoon3]

Please do she might sound a bit old fashioned now as she was back in the 70s but the message is the same and really works if you follow her advice x

[Meredyn in reply to Cat33]

Thank you so much, Cat. I do follow Dr. Weekes' teachings - it really helps with the anxiety and now loneliness is just an added battle. A 'by product' of the years of anxiety. ❤

[jencan]

Me too (as everyone says now). I've cut myself off from friends since my anxiety/depression spiked last year & am now finding it very hard to push myself out into a social life again. But I know it's down to me to challenge myself & reach out to people & maybe to start new "adventures" that make my days worthwhile again. I'm a tad beyond middle age; yuck! Best wishes & message me if you want to share any ideas.

[Meredyn in reply to jencan]

Hi, Jen. It sounds like we're in the same boat. It would be really good to share ideas - thank you for reaching out to me. I'm sure we can help each other in a positive way.❤

[jencan in reply to Meredyn]

Hi Meredyn. What a lot of replies----an online party, no less! What are your interests? Is there any way of turning those into something that involves others? I paint (or try to), but can't quite bring myself to join a local art club....so very frustrating.

[Meredyn in reply to jencan]

I am so thankful for all the replies, Jen! I love any fiber arts - knitting, spinning and felting. I wish I could pluck up the courage to join a knitting group or something too! ❤

[jencan in reply to Meredyn]

Me too. Love felting & I have to have a knitting project on the go to get me through the long winter nights. I drool more when I go into a good yarn shop than when I look at the cakes on a restaurant menu!

[lorianxiety]

hi I can identify with how you are feeling ,and im approaching my 73rd birthday;felt in control of anxiety up until last year....and my understanding of my state was in reading DrClaire Weekes,im being weaned of my diazepam which id been on the best part of my life.im willing to help if I can and do understand the feeling of lonliness and lack of understanding of this debilitating condition.

[Meredyn in reply to lorianxiety]

Thank you so much, Lori - you are so kind and so brave facing your weaning journey off the Diazepam. Have you spoken to Agora here about that? She has so much experience and wisdom from her own journey of weaning off benzodiazepines and she is always so kind and helpful. Sending you much love.❤

[lorianxiety in reply to Meredyn]

hi Meredyn,thanks for your kind words ,yes I have spoken to Argora and weaning herself of these benzodiazepine,and how difficult it was ,;yes,well done Argora,its not easy and it would be more helpful for me if this Gp had an understanding of addiction/dependence and of stresss /anxiety itself,but he doesn't,and that's that,though im going yto start meditating as did Angora,im quite serious about it and any tips coul help,also the DrClaire Weeks bk that ive had over 2months,need to find out where to get a copy of my own,hoping that you continue to enjoy this forum and that your life brightens up too.please keep us informed,take care-----are you still singing at the karaokes..let me know used to enjoy that myself though don't go out nowadays at night.!!

[Cat33 in reply to lorianxiety]

Hello lorianxiety

I weaned myself off of Ativan that I had been on for 10 years At the time I had a doctor who didn't understand either so I changed doctors and got lots of support I was cutting bits off the tablets it took me 5 months to be free of them and I felt everything come alive again colours seemed so bright sounds so loud it was like coming out of a dark tunnel Best thing I ever did

You can buy Dr Claire Weekes books on Amazon and she has lots of videos on YouTube

Mindfulness is really wonderful I've been on two courses and have a really good book that I follow that has a CD for doing meditation exercises

I wish you all the very very best xx

[lorianxiety in reply to Cat33]

Hi Cat,thanks for sharing your experience in getting off Ativan,Idont know much about those meds.,but im so glad you were successful and that the gp gave you support.I feel that I have this thing about breathing and that's why need to get into meditation tuning into my heart and think whatever I want ,;just as you would in visualisation ;its going to be difficult and I do need determination and purpose .Im spiritually aware which means that I know we are on this planet to face challenges ect,relationships,overcoming our fears something that id only coped with the aid of 5mg diazepam ,now im cutting a 2mg.though that I dread is about to stop soon.thanks for letting me know where to get the C.weekes bk.and for caring

[Cocoon3]

Totally Relate.. I was a social butterfly My entire adult life and then my best friend, Life-sister... of 29 years past suddenly almost a year ago and then that’s when I realized who really cared cuz not one family member or so-called friend tried to fill even a lil of my weekend void— NOT ONE!! And it’s not like they didn’t know because for four years every weekend and I mean every weekend we were Thelma and Louise . I reached out to others but it seemed everyone else was caught up in their own life and already set...let’s say in their routines, pretty sad u know.. i’ve always been the one to go check on people when they are sick are grieving then my husband does not communicate with me nor take up for me, we haven’t had sex in over 4+ yrs, except our last anniversary and I was that they answer I always have been-had to be- but when you’re chronically depressed one & have Chronic Pain everyday, as I am and been through over 8 life altering Traumatic experiences in 6yrs, disabled.. u sort of feel like you shouldn’t have to be the one to reach out or advance,you know, you want to feel that someone wants to be around you, not you trying to make others feel like they’re important , u yearn for support & a Meaning, so you’re not alone. My daughter is of age & living I feel on the wrong path , I have no brothers no sisters. I live all around my family yet it’s a lonely place. SO, after I get past the 20th of this month (my best friends 1 yr death anniversary) which I am dreading . I’m in the stage of grief of being pissed, feeling as though she did not try her best parts you to get better knowing her Health conditions she already had, she neglected herself & left me in this hell hole alone so the other day I smashed her small urn phone one of my favorite pictures of her and I and called her a bitch for not fighting I’m a little better, she was just too young and too stubborn. But, I will be trying to take up my painting hobby again. We shall see... cz on my next birthday I will be 50, and that doesn’t bother me what does make me think wow is how different the 2nd half of my life will be...

I have removed alcohol from my life now for 11 months, my entire family brought me up on drinking beer in my baby bottle, we all did

(ha ha), jk... but they do not understand how I can have fun (or attempt to) and not be drinking, so inturn when I do act (that normal silly that lies dormant in me) & sing karaoke they think I’m on illegal drugs !! I was floored when I heard that I even laughed so now I do things sometimes just to make them talk even more 😁🙃. But I do know the loneliness that you feel because I’m right there with you, that’s why I feel so grateful that I found this forum, the only thing is... it’s not like having someone sitting next to you taking in every word that you say or having someone look into your eyes, so they can see your hurt but it’s better than what my life had before, just my lonely thoughts, which sometimes can really be your enemy we are our toughest critics

[Willie211]

You're not along because I am thinking about you.

[Meredyn in reply to Willie211]

Thank you so much. Willie. Thinking of you too, and hoping you're doing OK. ❤

[pam4him]

So sorry for the struggle. Baby steps into the world works for me. Kind of like going to a party where you don't really know anyone. You scout the crowd looking for something familiar or in common to help strike up a conversation. Not necessarily "working the room", but more of just someone to engage in some small talk. I have to take a deep breath, identify my target, hold my head up with confidence (pretending if necessary) and go for it. It takes some self talk and motivation but it can be done. You CAN do this. Maybe look for an anxiety support group to start. Prayers for peace and guidance.

[Meredyn]

You are all so kind and thoughtful - thank you all so very much! I will drop some of you PM's if that's ok - maybe we can build friendships and find a way out of this loneliness together, one step at a time. Much love to you all.❤

[Staciel]

Let's be friends ! Actually we all speak about anxiety, and I am so interested in what kind of people all of you are.

Is there a separate thread about it?