So i originally thought i was suffering from pmt (admittedly quite badly) but after a bit of a breakdown and frank discussion with my husband just before Christmas, it was quite apparent that it was more like depression- i'd made myself sick a few times (and it felt good), had thoughts of harming myself - never harmed myself, but more thoughts of what if i did this or that. I had little intetest in anything and got no pleasure from things i used to enjoy etc...sleeping was very poor. So anyway long story short i ended up at GP on Christmas eve after fighting to get an appointment and was started on escitalopram 10mg which i started Christmas day, side effects have been pretty horrid but the sickness, insomnia, lack of appetite etc have generally subsided but I'm now suffering what I'd consider more anxiety - which isn't what I'd of said i had originally! Had a few genuine anxiety attacks in the past but not what i went to GP with...
So now my chest is pounding and heavy, the knot in my tummy is huge, i feel like i am fighting my own thoughts constantly to keep functioning and not to do anything crazy, and my motivation is at an all time low. Im suffering with odd dizzy spells too and bouts of tearfulness, and i have found myself digging my nails im my wrists when i get really irritable and often think of how i could hurt myself- i battle not too as i know its unhealthy.
My husband is supportive but im struggling to open up to him as recently his struggling with his acute physical health very recently and i don't want to put extra strain on him.
Need to put my feelings out there and know if anyone else is in or has been in a similar situation.
Hey, I don't have much experience with medication for depression/anxiety, the only medication I was given and tried was fluoxetine and was only on it for a few days before I had to stop because of an allergic reaction. However the side effects during that time were horrendous. I felt like I was in a living nightmare. I've never been a crying or tearful person, especially not in front of others, but I cried so much I just couldn't hold it in! I felt like I had no control over my mind and thoughts too and just wanted to slam my head into a wall.
It's gotten better now although I still have palpitations, aches and pains, (especially chest pain which is the worst!) And there are still times where I feel myself spiralling but I just remind myself that every time I've felt like I've lost control, things always got better!
It's so exhausting mentally battling yourself everyday, I know how it feels, but hang in there. I hope things are better for you soon xx