Upset and Betrayed

[sweetashoney79]

I just found out yesterday that my husband of 20 years cheated on me this summer. I do not know how to cope or get past this. I do not know what to do. Train wreck does not even begin to describe me right now. I just want to drive off a bridge.

[looking4me]

Hey, I’m sorry your going through all this. Allow yourself to heal. That’s all i would do. I don’t think we ever know what is lurking in our future. But I know for a fact, we are a lot more resilient than we give ourselves credit to be.

[sweetashoney79 in reply to looking4me]

Thank you I appreciate it. I don't know what to do. I am not sure how to get over this. My heart is shattered. I am so much more anxious and stressed

[Hidden]

I am so sorry. Human beings are resilient, we can go through a LOT and come out okay or better.

[sweetashoney79 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you I hope so. It hurts so bad right now. I seriously feel.like I am going to snap

[Delzek]

Is he contrite? Have you sat down and talked about this? The sad thing is after a while we seem to take each other for granted and sometimes feel our partners take advantage or don't appear to care as much as they used to! This can lead to one or the other straying, sadly it happens more often than we think. I hope after twenty years you will both have enough Respect if not enough Love left to sit together and and figure out why/how it got to this stage, and if you do both Love each other you can work it out. Forgiveness is a wonderful thing but it's a two way thing! Just don't allow yourself to be a doormat!

I personally only ever had open relationship's as a youngster,but when I was a bit older I really tell in LOVE and we were together for over twenty years my ex is 26years older than me,She still loves me as I do her but after sitting down and trying to find out what went wrong I found although she still loves me She is not "In love" with me. I have accepted that and we are now best friends, I look after her and she looks after me! I am sorry to say although I understand I love her too much to go elsewhere ! I really hope that you can work this out as Love is a wonderful thing. And it would be a shame that after 20 years you can't work it out between you! All the best Derek

[sweetashoney79 in reply to Delzek]

Derek thank you so much for the advice. We have sat down and discussed everything alot over the last couple of days. I have decided I am going to try and work past this. I told him I am going to need time and he is going to need to prove that he feels what he says. It is going to take time for my heart to heal and for trust to be regained. I will not allow myself to be a doormat. Your words were very powerful and gave different perspective. Thank you so much for being here for me it really means alot

[Delzek]

Good luck I hope it works out for you both, love is hard to find but too easily lost in today's throw away society. All the best Derek