Change and be well...read this

[stde]

I have been a member now for a few years and want to tell you I have been where you have been...

You name it..anxiety/ depression/ ocd/panic attacks/ hospitalisation/distorted thought/ mental illness...

When I was at rock bottom I was on 800 mg of drugs to stabilise my thoughts....

So why do I tell you this, because today I am well albeit taking 5 mg of antidepressant...( Starting dose for anyone is normally 20mg)

I am writing this because you are not alone and you are not stuck in this forever...you can get well but have to change that person...

This takes daily practise and time...

I was a perfectionist...had to let go, nothing about life is perfect

I hated responsibility...had to accept that it was just part of life, and it only became a responsibility when I totally burdened myself with fear

Everything had to be in order...life was born through chaos, and so it will continue, I could not change the world..

I took everything in like a sponge, had to become a feather and just float by...

Everything was my business...apart from immediate family, nothing was my business...

My opinion always mattered....they didn't...

I was always right...it wasn't that important to be right...

I always felt financially insecure...I had to believe that my inner self would always look after me,if I did the right things the right things would happen...

I became to believe that a power inside me would always look after me...

And although I believed I was important...I was only important to my family, not my employers or other people except a few that cared...

I had to gain a gratitude for life again( there is children dying in Africa that have never known life)....

And so I changed, although I have to remind myself daily how lucky I am...

Easy...no

But worth every minute...I was like this for 40 years, and yet the last 8 years I have been free of fear, anxiety,ocd,depression...

How, I had no choice but to unlearn what I believed a life of fear had taught me, and relearn what was important for a peaceful mind...

I do not write this through ego.( Had to let that go as well😀)

But through humility and the hope that you find peace of mind...

Through fear your overactive mind just makes up negative stories, that is all they are...stop believing them...when you learn to find calm through the help of spending time in nature and meditation, and meds if needed, you will recover the calm you...

Do not react to any thought or situation, and if you do tell yourself " it is only my overactive mind making up negative thoughts"..when you understand this and do not emotionally engage in you thoughts, you take away the fear, and hence the power of the thought...

I wish everyone of you well and positive progress....💗

[TNTOwl]

That was beautiful and very insightful! I would love to have a chat with you some time about some things I'm going through to hear your opinion on them...

[Jeff1943]

stde, your positivity and the fact that you found a way to recover by altering your perceptions are an example to others. Thanks for sharing this.

[Hidden]

Thank you so much for the hope you give!!

[Michael8072]

Yes thank you for sharing this! There is hope!

[Indigojoe]

Where did you learn to do this?

[Pat9]

always loved your posts STDE thank you for this xx

[stde in reply to Pat9]

Hi Pat, hope your doing well.x

[Pat9 in reply to stde]

Hi Stde yes good thanks apart from aches and pains but then we all get those hope all is well with you xx

[Benny3221]

I’ve been there too the place of feeling normal again but because I look different it caused others to ostracize me or discriminate me because of the way I look and my anxiety skyrocketed. You know any community that’s willing to fund me through plastic surgery?

[stde in reply to Benny3221]

Sorry, but in UK if appearance is affecting mental health it can be done on NHS, but only in extreme cases..

[RhondaT71]

Thank you so much for sharing your journey and healing experience. It gives me hope. If you don't mind, I would like to share this on an Anxiety/Depression Facebook page that I am a part of. I will let them know that it was written by someone from this site. Is that okay?

[stde in reply to RhondaT71]

Of course..x

[RhondaT71 in reply to stde]

Thank you!

[axle99]

thankyou for your wise words they give me hope

[suzanne1217]

I feel as though I could have written this myself....great post.