I was doing so well...

I have been struggling all day with anxiety but managed to hold it together by going to work. I came home from therapy feeling I had achieved something and left most of my anxiety behind. I was in the bath enjoying time with son and wife when a thought/ fear came to mind and knocked me right back to where I started. I'm now anxious again and feeling angry that my mind seems to want to work against me. Why is it doing this to me?

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  • I'm really trying to find a really helpful answer to say but I can't. So I just want you to know that you're not alone I'm in the same boat at the moment felt great all day then coming to the end of work bad thoughts, anxiety and panick rising so came straight home and got in bed where I still lay waiting for this to pass.

    Someone will be on to give you a fantastic answer soon I'm sure but in the meantime read a few blogs on this site it'll give you some answers.

    All the best hope you feel better soon!

  • Thank you. I'm sorry to hear about your own experience. You needn't have to come up with something helpful, just hearing that others share your feelings is enough.

  • Bloody anxiety!! needs a kick up the jacksie! Wish it would just do one and leave us alone. I know, I know we need a certain amount but it is so wrong when "our minds" have a mind of their own! Confused??? join the club lol. Let us start our day with a hop, skip and a jump! Our minds would get a shock then LOL xxxxx

  • Hi. A good old fashioned ella blog! Absolutely! It does need a 'kick up the jacksie'.

    I wish we could all get and keep your sense of humour, elle, we would all be better off for it. Love and blessings. jonathan.

  • I find this happens to me too, but I have learned to say to myself "It's just a thought". Not that that always takes away the anxiety, if it were that simple we would all be cured, but sometimes we fall into the trap of taking our anxious thoughts too seriously.

    Sometimes we can analyse it and say "is it really worth worrying about?" "Is there any evidence to support that thought?" "Are there any other ways of looking at the situation that would be more helpful, more realistic?"

    It takes practice, but I find the more often I challenge my own patterns of anxious thinking (which then of course lead to anxiety symptoms) I can reduce the "hold" the thoughts seem to have on me, as if uncovering a fraud, I can say to the thought "Ha! You're only a thought, I don't have to take any notice of you!"

    May sound a bit odd the way I've explained it, hope it makes sense.

  • Hi. funky. No, it is by no means odd and it is what I really believe is the solution. As you say, if it were that easy then we could close the site down. But it's not, is it?

    In a few words you have really summed it up. It does take practise and it doesn't happen overnight but acceptance, which is what I believe you are saying, does work if given time and done willingly. You will probably agree that it is not easy and to say it is would be wrong. But it can be done.Thanks very much for your post. Love. jonathan.

  • Makes total sense thanks! I will try that next time

  • Hi. simon. This is what Dr.Weekes calls' flash experiences' and are common in the anxiety state. We can be walking along, reasonably happy and looking at the view when, wham! a negative thought comes into our mind and throws us off balance. Not uncommon with anxiety. You are NOT going mad. Just very sensitised. If you start feeling angry with yourself you will add fuel to an already anxious body which will not help one little bit. You see, the word 'struggling' comes out at me. To 'struggle' creates more tension. If you struggle with someone or something the energy required is considerable. You have not got the reserves of energy in your present state. You managed to 'hold it together'. More effort. Can you give up struggling (our natural response)? Give up 'trying' altogether and just accept how you feel for the moment. (Goes against the grain because it is the opposite to what we think we should do). Your mind is not doing this to you. You are doing it to yourself by flogging yourself with why! why!. Does it really matter why? Try and accept how you feel at the moment. Let it all go. Go loose. Stop punishing yourself for something that is not your fault. Enjoy your wife and family. They are very precious. I hope you feel better as I KNOW you will. Kind regards. jonathan.

  • Thank you Jonathan. In the morning when I'm at worst I will let it go-no more struggling I'm too tired for that!

  • Thanks so much for your insight, Johnathan, that's all helpful.

    I'm feeling pretty rough at the moment, hàving recently felt a lot better, possibly because I've been unwell with a far-from-serious viral infection but it's really dragged me down mentally and emotionally. I live on my own, having been widowed 3 years ago, and so miss the companionship and attachment of a sustaining relationship, which is I know, very much at the root of all my problems. But then there's no easy answer to that one. Meanwhile, I do find this site can be very reassuring.

    Gloriette

  • Hiya I'm new on here, I don't know if this will show because I haven't logged in as I think I've forgot my password.

    I feel as if I'm losing my mind sometimes, this seems to make me more anxious, I'm forever unclasping my hands, and I always seem to be tired...I'm 65 tomorrow and I've got chronic Arthritis and everything else that goes along with this damn illness. My problem for years is thinking I'm I'll with cancer or heart problems, these thoughts drive me crazy, I've had 2 courses of CBT but it wasn't for me, so it goes on and on...

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