Severe anxiety all my life

[crystalkile]

Hello everyone I'm new here, my name is Crystal I'm 42 years old I have one son who is 24 years old, I had a very bad childhood I am the baby of four siblings, I was always last in line I was born with a birth defect in my left eye which made me cross-eyed, was made fun of all through school, when I was 10 I saw my pawpaw literally burn to death in a house fire that really said off the anxiety I got married at the age of 16 two years later I had my son 5 years later was divorced married my first true love love at first sight LOL we were together for 2 years he was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer we got married two weeks later he passed away and again the anxiety went Sky High 2008 I had my thyroid and two of my parathyroid removed and since then my health has declined found out 2 years ago that I have rheumatoid arthritis lupus Sjogren's syndrome mixed connective tissue disease Raynaud's phenomenon lost my job lost my health insurance I have no income appealing my Social Security life is just so hard I'm so alone so afraid

[Krn210]

*hugs* You sure have had your fair share of stressors throughout life. I do not have any advice on your medical diagnosis’s, but wanted to tell you that you are not alone! We are all here for you. This is a great group of people.

[crystalkile in reply to Krn210]

Thank you for writing back, just having someone to talk to helps me, I'm a loner, always have been.

I've made it this far in life and I have the Lord with me, and now all you nice people!

[Krn210 in reply to crystalkile]

Its perfectly fine to be a loaner. 🙂 I too am alone more than I am in company. Sometimes I prefer it that way. Now you have us too! There is a lot of great advice and support here. If you’re ever needing someone to talk to you can always message me too. You’ve got this!!

[crystalkile in reply to Krn210]

Thank you so much!!!!

[Trees2357]

Wow that’s a lot to deal with. Just look to God. Get yourself a Bible. You are not alone God is always with you holding you by your right hand. I’m going through a very bad time with anxiety and depression. I’ll pray for you. Make sure you pray. I know it doesn’t feel like it but he is helping. Just ask him. I’m so sorry you have so many things on your plate. My heart is with you.

[crystalkile in reply to Trees2357]

Believe me, if I didn't have the Lord on my side, I wouldn't be here.

He blessed me with a son, who is my Rock.

He's 23 and bought his own house tomorrow 8 mths ago, has a great job with a pharmaceutical company.

I stay with him a good bit.

I'm so thankful that I found you guys!

Thanks for the reply and prayers!!

[Trees2357 in reply to crystalkile]

How do you do it I feel like God isn’t helping me

[crystalkile in reply to Trees2357]

I get on my knees every single night and first thing in the morning, I pray for him to hold my hand and never let go, you truly have to trust and believe, I thank God for all the bad, and good in my life, because without the bad, I wouldn't have learned from it.

I have you in my prayers!

TrUsT AND BeLiEvE

[Trees2357 in reply to crystalkile]

That’s great. I’m Catholic but I’ve been going to the Bible Church. I have to pray more. I’ve been like this for 5 years but it got worse now. Always want to cry.

[crystalkile in reply to Trees2357]

It doesn't matter what you believe in, just trust and believe.

I totally understand where you are coming from, if you need to cry then let it out!

It does more harm to your body and mind if you hold it in.

I've learned that the hard way!

But when I do get down and out and cry, it literally hurts me. Because I have Sjogren's syndrome, after I do cry my head hurts so bad the next day, that I can barely see and have to lay down all day long.

If it wasn't for my son I don't know what I would do, him and I are best friends!

And I have also at times, pulled my Bible out shut my eyes and flipped to a page, and stopped and started to read, and it always seems to be just what I needed to hear.

[Erinkatja]

It seems to me you have plenty of reasons why anxiety would enter your life. Someone on here had suggested to another an app called “calm.” I actually find it helpful. Of course going through things like you have not many,if any, can understand what you’ve gone through. However that being we all know what anxiety feels like and how it can take over your life. It’s easier for anyone, regardless of if they have ever felt anxiety before, to try to make suggestions or tell you what you can or should do. We all know that every suggestion is easier said than done. I would like to remind you that you are NOT your symptoms. You are still you beneath whatever you may be feeling and you deserve to be happy. You still have a life that should be taken advantage of not be dragged down by the physical and mental symptoms of anxiety. If you’ve tried any anxiety remediations, remember that feelings have beginnings and endings so even though it’s hard, just remember that those feelings will come to an end. Keep trying to breathe and focus on your breathing and don’t try to push away your feelings, just try to let them go how they came in. Always remember you are not alone and that there is a huge support system here when you need someone! I hope you feel better knowing we are all here for you.

[crystalkile in reply to Erinkatja]

Thank you so much!

I'm so glad I found this page!

[Agora1 in reply to crystalkile]

crystalkile, holding you in my heart. xx

[crystalkile in reply to Agora1]

Thank you my friend!

Same to you!