Not sure I can do it but I've got to try and go for a 15 minute walk later today. Sorry for writing about this again. I just wish I wasn't so terrified to go out in this world to try and enjoy life. It feels so awful to of been so housebound for decades now! Ever since I was a kid and everyday since! I'm beyond tired of this horrible feeling. I'm just grateful to all of you on this site who can understand and relate. Thank you! The only,years I was able to get out was while drinking or drugging but now that I've been sober 7 years the insecurities have been so intense! The addiction gave me the courage to not care what anyone thought of me. Can anybody relate to being sober and scared of how to deal with life? I feel overwhelmed and pretty hopeless thinking life will never get better! Thanks to my friends in advance💝😀😎😊
Try try again right? : Not sure I can do it... - Anxiety Support
Write about it as often as you wish, that’s what this platform is for 😊
I’ve used drink occasionally as a way to feel less introvert in the past and to get me through a night out and give me courage. So can relate in that respect.
When I look back, I was so unhappy. I would worry a lot then after the affect, wondering what people thought of me. It was kinda a delayed reaction to the same worries if you understand me.
We now have more control.yes we feel the fear, but we still try to do it anyway ...because we strive for more freedom, and why not , we deserve it.
It’s truly difficult and feels so scarey, but worth it. It also takes time, much more time than I ever imagined. So we need to be patient , which is one thing I am not 😩 I’ve had to learn to be.
Small steps achieve great things...the main thing is keep the hope and determination , it may take time but it can be achieved. Keep making the plans to go outside, little by little you will move forwards.
I’m wishing you well
Oh huge thank you Olivia! Your really sweet to understand and give wonderful advice! Thank you. All we can do is keep trying. Patience isn't something I do very well either!! Lol. Drinking made me sociable but not in a good way tho. I unfortunately was a violent alcoholic and very out of control. Being sober I'm me again. I try and be genuine and as nice as I can be. Sobriety has at least done that for me. Thankfully!! I to was unhappy while using drugs and drinking. We all do deserve to be happy!!! That's all I ever wanted in life. It does take time but I thought by 7 years sober I'd have more control in life but,I guess its going to more time! Thanks for your advice I appreciate it!!! Enjoy your weekend!😀😀😄😎
You have achieved wonderful things to achieve sobriety...nothing to stop you achieving more. It’s the impatience that gets to me , I want it all now haha but that’s not possible, it’s years of learnt behaviour we have to relearn or do things a different way,and it takes time..but once we start making progress it feels so much better....
Try not to be so hard on yourself..we are so bad for that..
It’s a big achievement to be planning a trip out and thinking about it....I have to think a lot about things before I do them,,,sometimes for a long time I’ve put off even the thinking about it. so it’s big achievements, thinking and planning to go
Keep us informed as and when you can...be lovely to hear how it’s going. Xx
Thank you for your message!! Means a lot knowing I'm not alone. So true having relearn how to deal with things! Thanks kindly for the kind words! Ill keep y'all informed if I can make it outside. Keep hoping and keep praying each day will get easier!! Enjoy your weekend😀😄😊
Where about are you Hun, if we lived closer I’d take you out we could brave it together . Your be ok just deep breathe and remember we are all here for you . Xx
Oh that's so very kind!! I'm in st george utah. Just moved here from Las Vegas. I love it here. Its a beautiful state. Where do you live???
I live in England 🏴 , Las Vegas wow amazing xxx
Lol Vegas is super cool but love it here in utah. If we were closer we could of definitely fight this together. I wish.
Good morning Lovedogs!!!
I don’t feel like facing the world today. At. All. I will be doing what I need to do though. I hope you can get out for a walk. I find that when I accomplish what I had fear of I get endorphins flowing from it.
I only went for a walk early this morning when very dark out. No way I can do it in the light. I just can't handle getting dirty looks or stared at. Since coloring my hair it's a mess. Bangs in all different hanging in different directions, hair full of split ends and frizzy. Its so bad I've never been able to have a hairstyle. I'm just frustrated over my face getting worse and my hair looking terrible!! I'm happy to hear that You'll be able to go outside. Nice. No endorphins today I guess!! Just anxious, miserable and depressed!!
Oh I've made a mess colouring my hair too! All different shades now. Aww well " if they don't like it, they don't have to iook at it' eh? 😊 People aren't that interested, maybe for a minute that's all. They have stuff going on in there own life and must be sad people if they're interested in what we look like! You've done so very, well to be sober for that long. Congratulate yourself, n don't beat yourself up. We Women can be our own worst enemies. Be kind to yourself as I'm sure you are to others. And carry on with you're little walks. I do. 😊👍🌻
Dubba61, thank for your kind words. My hair color changed the formula and it turned out so blonde which now I look like a freak. It just,looks awful. I'm embarrassed to even go outside looking this way. I tell myself the same thing if,I look so damn bad don't freakin look. Problem solved!!! Lmao!!. Yea ill have y years sober on May 15!!! So happy to of made it this far!! Thanks for the awesome message😎😀😊😄
Hahaha that's the ticket! Mines blonde too. Sort of Pamela Anderson on a bad day! 😀 I'm in East UK n so went a long walk up the Beach early this morning. It's really the best time of the day. 🕊️🚢🏃♀️Meadow larks singing, Seagulls overhead, a little fishing boat. N best of all not many people around. Bliss! 😊🌻✌️♀️
Lol!!! Sounds just lovely there in the UK. I just love chatting with ppl from the UK!!😀 They are respectful, nice and just caring folks!!! So thank you for your message. Glad you had a beautiful day at the beach! Sounds just fabulous!😎😀
Glad you got to go for a walk this morning ...🌼🌺🌼🌺 x
I'm glad I did too but omg,my anxiety was thru the roof!!! And it was dark out! Makes no sense why I would feel so much anxiety even when they can't see me at,all. I feel beyond hopeless line in going to be housebound for life. I can't live like this being terrified of leaving my condo. 😎😀😄😊
Have you ever tried to get a stylist to come to your home?
Not sure what you mean? I rent a condo and I'm on disability. Stylist??
You were saying your hair is messed up and it keeps you from going out. Maybe get a stylist to come to your home and do your hair at your house to make you feel better?
Oh,lol. I can't afford things like that. My disability Doesn't even cover all of my rent. Life's been pretty tough over the years. If I could afford it I probably would do that. I even have to cut,my own hair. Ugh
lovedogs, I see something different in you that I'm sure others would agree and that is your personality is A+ .... If there were a contest on the forum, I would vote for you as Miss Congeniality. You're interesting, kind and caring and never say a harmful word to anyone. That is the beauty of a person. Once you see what we do in you, you will walk in the sun, holding your head high and greeting everyone on the way. That is when others will see the real beauty in you. It's about being confident in who you are on the inside. Physical looks may change as we get older but that spark of personality stays with us til our dying day xx
Omg you are the most caring, nice and most genuine person I've met!!I can't say thank you enough. That was so very kind to say. I wish I had that confidence to fight the anxiety to go outside. I felt extreme anxiety when I went out for my whole 10 minute walk and it was dark. Makes no sense to feel anxiety in the dark. I just don't know how to handle this extreme anxiety. Its ruined,my entire life. 45 now and I've been pretty housebound since being a kid. Life sux!!! You DEFINITELY made my weekend! Thanks so much agora!!! You rock sista!!!
Lovedogs, I don't know your "story" as I do not get on the site very often, for lack of time. But you and me have something in common. I have 4 dogs, so yes-I love dogs too!! 😊 As I get a chance, I will try to catch up on here, but I wish you the best in conquering your fears!
I agree dogs are the best friends. I'm so depressed cause I don't have a dog due to this condo not letting me saying no pets. This is breaking my heart. Trying,to get emotional support dog. Lease says they have to allow me to have one if, its a service dog. I might be able to get one. Praying and hoping it will work out. Cause I'm so depressed,not having a best friend. Thanks for your message. Oh I'm soooo jealous of you!!! Your so lucky,having 4 dogs. Nice😎😀
Thank you! It's A LOT OF WORK, but worth every moment of it.❤❤❤❤ I sure hope you will be able to get a dog!
What is the procedure you have to go through to get one? A doctor's note I would imagine, anything elze?
Yea just a Drs note stating I need one. That's all I know of.
First let me congratulate you on your sobriety. I have family who have gone through the battle with alcohol and drugs. You need to give yourself some credit. You were able to get sober. That in itself is a very difficult thing to do. You beat it. And you can beat this as well. Get out there and take a walk. Even if it is just to the mail box. Baby steps. Have you considered counseling and or anti anxiety medicine? Your are stronger than you know.
Thank you so much! I'm proud I made it to 7 years. Yea addiction is fun at first but then its a nightmare. I think smoking is tougher to quit cause its the last crutch I have if stressed out or feel anxiety. I just went to my new Dr in here in utah and he prescribed a heart med that also helps calm you down. Its called propynolol. Then he said to try true calm a supplement. So I'm going to see,if that will help but,if not ill need a benzodiazepine to help. I get really addicted to them plus they quit working in a short time. I'm weak cause I have no self control never have. God,is the one who got me sober not me. I thought ill never be able to quit. But woke up 7 years ago,and just quit. Had no obsession to drink anymore! Thank you so much for the kind words. Means a lot plus that made my day😀😄😎😊
I have heard a lot of good things about True Calm. I hope that it works for you. If you can go natural, that is best for your sobriety. Don't beat yourself up for smoking. One thing at a time. I wish you well.
Oh thank you!! The first true calm chilled me out but I'm not sure if its working. Kind of confused why it stopped working. I'm hoping if I can go to sleep and wake up later to maybe go for a walk ill take one before I go to see if it works to chill me out. Going outside is terrifying to me so we'll see if it will calm me down. Probably will take propynolol to see if that will work. If not ill have to take a benzodiazepine for anxiety. Don't really like them cause I get used to them and quit working but most of all I get way,to addicted to them.I guess all I can do is take baby steps trying to quit smoking. Thanks for responding!!# have a great Sunday😀😎
you're not waiting to feel better to do things your doing things to feel better--very endorsable.
It's always better to be sober when you do things however, I believe if you go small in the beginning it will be better. By that I mean sit on the step or a chair in the beginning, doing a crossword puzzle, etc. Maybe some neighbors, etc will pass by and talk. That will get you used to being outside. If you have a dog take it for a walk when you do decide to get out. Nothing should prevent you from going outside but don't feel like you have to rush it. You see more people sitting near their home than you see walking willy nilly. When you do venture out have a destination in mind. Like a store to get something, cleaner, deli, etc. Stay safe.
Thank you for the advice!! Just moved to Utah and I've had the chances to talk to neighbors which is nice. My walk should only take 10 or so minutes. I go down to a Sinclair gas station and back again. Still hard to do. Currently I have no doggie. I'm totally sad since my last girl passed away. Its been 5 years since I've had a dog. Here at this condo there's no animals accepted. Breaks my heart!! I used to walk my dog everywhere! Did everything with her. We went to lakes, rivers, mtns etc. Really miss that a lot!!#
Oh, sounds like my friend who got a dog knowing the condo didn't allow them. She took him for a walk out of the back door then around the corner & back. She said no one knows & it was working out great until. Well, she fell & yelled out "Please someone get my dog".....then everyone knew but she said she was minding it for her sick friend, etc. What a mess....Enjoy your neighbors & your walk.
Oh no did she end up losing her dog? Oh I sure hope not. I hope she's alright. There's nothing better than a dog's love. So helpful in helping us be better ppl. I have been devastated since losing my best friend Cheyenne!!! We were always together doing fun things!! I get to pet the dogs around the complex which has been pure joy. Hopefully ill be able to get one. Yea I've got the nicest neighbors. Just need the confidence to go for a walk.
Hi, i know how u feel i have got to go uot tomoz for an assessment for my GAD dissorder & i am dredding it, I've had a severe headace allday.
Hi, not sure what help / counselling you have tried, but I am sure that hypnotherapy can help improve your life. It`s not traumatizing, but a gentle method to rid of any fearful thoughts of being away from the security of your home. At the moment, similar to a phobic, you have the fear response set up- in your case, whenever you attempt to go out- this is your survival instinct overreacting. There would have been a reason for this behavior, but now is outdated. Hypnotherapy updates the old information and can be re-jigged to thoughts that no longer limit your life.
There may even be on particular ISE ( Initial sensitising Event ) that triggered all this off. This is not vital to identify with, but if you can, will be really easy to put an end to all this. If not, believe me, the emotional memory is still up and running. Your mind has something it`s not letting go of, as it wouldn`t keep referring back to this , which in turn forces you to be terrified of the big wide world .
Thanks for the great advice but what I'm afraid of is how I look now due to smoking. I looked great 2 years ago but now have skin hanging from around my mouth big time. I get it from my damn father. You can't see it cause I'm smiling and taking pic in the sun. That's why I'm scared cause ppl judge mostly on looks. I've gotten the worst and mean looks from ppl. Makes it hard to go outside. Judgements is hard to deal with is all.
Hi lovedogs51511,thank you for careing, i had my assessment today all went well, I'm now waiting for apt with psyc to sort new meds out,& apt for psychologist for counselling,do you think this would help you
Oh I sure everything worked out with your meds too! Therapy never helped at all. Been down that road soooo many times. That's why I told my new Dr here in utah I don't want to waste money on it cause it never did a thing to help. He's making me do this weird test. I can't remember what its called but,I said I'd give it a shot. I'm sure hoping the therapy is beneficial for you! Happy to hear the assessment went good!!
Sorry to hear that therapy dn't help you, i also have had a lot of therapy & different meds & to be honest thay hvñt really worked for me but will give them another go need some help from somewhere got nothing to loose live in UK dn't have to pay for treatment but long waiting lists, hope what you try now will help you,thank you for your reply
Sorry to hear it hasn't helped you too.That's such a blessing to not have to pay unlike here in the US everything costs soooo much. Hopefully trying meds again just might be the answer for you. Or maybe try different ones maybe that would help??? Here's hoping we'll both find the answers!!!