Feeling down ONCE AGAIN

[Hope4TheBest07]

Hello, just on here trying to ease my mind. I've been very stressed lately..my world has turned upside down. I've been depressed and anxious since this past May. I took meds for about 2 months and felt better but stopped cold turkey because I didn't want to depend on meds to make myself happy. I feel like I'm just walking through a damn fog. I was such on a good spree until I had issues with my supervisor and she would repeatedly write me up leading to me having no choice but to quit my job. I recently got married and was the happiest day of my life hands down! My anxiety was controlled perfectly then and I was living life so positively. Until my wife after just one month found out we are pregnant. The pressure just dropped on me. I've been on multiple interviews and can't land a fun job! I started becoming depressed, I hardly eat, I stay in bed all day and look for jobs through my.phone And those 1click applications. I can't seem to get out my bed. I dont go to my cousins house to hang out anymore and have a few beer. I start getting irrational thoughts about bad stuff happening to me health wise when I went to the doc and my.doc said ebrything looks perfect . I did EKG MRI CT SCAN everything came back negative but I just feel so down and sad. Whenever I see an accident on tv of someone get shot or something sad I think it can happen to me and it just consumes my mind. It doesn't just pass through like a normal person I sit and dwell and say "damn if that can happen to them it can happen to me. I literally have the "what's the point" attitude about everything. If I leave a place having.fun with my child I say to myself "what if something happens" smh those thoughts take me out of my fun. Sometimes I look at my kid and cry for no reason instead of being happy. I always feel this way when I'm very depressed. The only break I get is when I take meds. Idk if my body is addicted to these anti depressants and it starts to feind for it smh. I rarely leave my house anymore. When I drive on the highway the whole.time I'm thinking dumb shit like "what if I pass out behind the wheel" "what if my heart stops" who's gonna save me? Smh I feel like auto pilot when I'm driving. I used to be able to hear music and vibe and be excited to go where I wanna go etc. Now since I'm not.working I have my wide depending on me and my little one and another on the way. We just got married and for me to lose my job makes me feel less of a man. I feel like I'm failing as a husband and I just got married man! Does anyone feel like me with these weird anxiety fears, phobias and anxiety symptoms...heart beating randomly sometimes especially after a night of drinking, I can't stay asleep, as soon as I wake up my breathing feels weird and shallow, chest.tight... I obsess over anxiety and read blogs all.day. my doc says I'm fine but I go Google my test results and Google says otherwise smh. I need my life back! I'm married and have 1 kid an another on the way I want to enjoy them without having these weird creepy thoughts and physical feelings in my body... Anyone relate?????

[Torz82]

Worse thing is to Google stuff it really makes things worse for it sets your anxiety off more thinking you got this or got that .... what you need to do is think of one positive thing a day ...practice breathing techniques....there is plenty of guided meditations on YouTube and things to help anxiety..... I take theanine it's natural and you take 1 or 2 tablets a day ... you don't even realise that your in a calmer state of mind and they don't effect any other medication....

Another thing to look at is diet.... what are you eating and how often ... how much water are you drinking ... diet makes a big difference in how we feel...

Wake up with a smile on your face ...go to sleep with a smile on your face ...maybe your not getting a job because you need recovery time from anxietys.

You can do anything you want to ..the more you focus on what you can do and not what you can't do the better you will become

Grattitude ....mindfulness...meditation....nature...music ... all these things help ..

[Hope4TheBest07 in reply to Torz82]

I appreciate you taking the time out to respond. That does make sense to focus on what I can do. Its just that it is hard to focus when my phyisical symptoms bother me all day and my thoughts make me want to just tuck away in my bed all day. Like, its 3:15am here and I'm wide awake. Just got off the phone with my buddy and I'm on here searching for help. Everyone is so solidified in their career and I'm just sitting here with no vision or hope in finding a job before my baby comes smh... My chest feels tight and muscles flexing all day just a suck feeling.

[Torz82 in reply to Hope4TheBest07]

That's the thing ...it isn't hard ...it may seem like it at this time but honestly it isn't...it's mind over matter... I think some CBT therapy can help you ... I think you need to focus on omething you know you can change ...something you know that will be positive outcome all round ..

I really do believe you can pull yourself out of your rut

And always talk to someone it really helps

[lin62-65ze]

Feel your problem is much worse as you left your job due to pressure, I can relate to that. Hope you are looking for a less pressurised post. You really have to conquer this anxiety as it seems to be consuming you and this will affect your life in such a way that it destroys everything. You mention you have a small child and another on the way. Children need stability and both parents. Seriously go to your Doctors and demand you get the right medication and help for this severe anxiety. You need to get a relaxation tape and do deep breathing exercises. Go out for brisk walks, go to a gym if possible try anything which may help. Believe me I have been there, I had a demanding job in child protection, after nearly five years I had to leave due to pressure. Fortunately I was in a union so managed to get another post less stressful. You will conquer this but you need medical help too😊😊

[Hope4TheBest07 in reply to lin62-65ze]

@lin62-65ze Medication isn't going to get me a job tho.. I have been on and off meds for 15 years... Its not always the best solution. Medication is like a bandaid but the root cause of the anxiety isn't solved. Medication will diminish the anxiety symptoms but the suck part about that is that u just dont feel the physical anxiety feelings but your problems that caused the anxiety still there. Its such a catch 22

[Agora1 in reply to Hope4TheBest07]

Hope4TheBest83, I totally agree with you. As long as we sweep the problems under the rug, the problems stay hidden but not gone.

[lin62-65ze in reply to Hope4TheBest07]

I fully understand that taking meds does not guarantee you get another job. Is there any possibility you could be self employed? By this I mean window cleaner, gardener, I do not know how fit you are but if you cleaned 6 houses Windows per day @ £10/15per house think how much you could earn. Only a suggestion but may help. I got out of my pressured job and cleaned until I retired, if I had done it in my 30's I would have made lots of money😊 Keep thinking positive🤗

[Agora1]

Hi lin62-65ze, you have a good idea. That's what I did. I used the resources and talent I had and started my own business working around my physical symptoms.