Hi everyone, hope you all had a lovely christmas. It's such a trying time, but I hope you all found even just for a minute........
a little peace on earth
I have been doing quite well, I think! This year has possibly been the hardest (in terms of - therapy, life events and to be honest just overall triggers) since my aunt(who was more of a mother to me than my actual mother, but we're working on that......and that's a story for another day passed, four years ago February coming, but I still seemed to be doing quite well, the world, my brain, the dreaded anxiety disorder, obsessive compulsions and just life in general has been against me did I mention my brain but I've ploughed on regardless, what else you gonna do.......right? But this just tops it, and if I'm honest this is just me venting (sorry if I bring anyone down) now my body has decided to join the dark side I feel pretty much broken today! if it's not enough with all of the usual aches and pains involved with the constant state of tension my body is in, as I don't have any body fat to burn I'm severely underweight (to provide a mental image my boyfriend tells me I look like a racing snake, in the nicest possible way so I overwork my muscles constantly Im way too over active, I'm not getting nearly enough sleep or food ( s'pose I'm not fulfilling my basic needs really - just realised this whilst writing!) but now my teeth are absolutely destroying me, I can honestly say I have never felt pain like this (And I've had two bubbas) this is an ongoing problem, probably for the last 3 yrs due to waiting for anxiety dentist - who I have seen maybe 9 or 10 times in that time frame - he has worked on me 6 of those times , which to be honest is massive for me) I haven't slept for 4 days and seriously cannot take the pain anymore I phoned 111 as I was turned away at our emergency centre - we don't have a hospital anymore) I now have to wait for an emergency dentist to phone to arrange an appointment today! Apparently I have to see a dentist for pain relief, (due to medication interactions I can only take paracetamol unless prescribed pain-relief. Its just the absolute last kick in the jingle bells I'm over this year now! Why does life kick us when we're down? Can I just move on to the next year - pain free, positive and filled with hope.....
(Just putting it out there
Sorry for the whinge! (and any mistakes I'm sleep deprived)
Best wishes for 2014