I think I have an eating disorder and I'm scared.

[someoneoutthere]

Hi, I am a young teenage girl. I have always had anxiety from a young age, anemia and I'm not sure but I think I may have a mild eating disorder. In middle school, I had low self-esteem and disliked my body shape as at the time, many girls around me were speaking of the thigh gap etc. Thankfully I got over that and although I have a few troubling thoughts some times, it's not as bad as before. Recently, I have had really bad eating habits. I have been eating breakfast, not eating at school and eating whatever junk food I see. A bit more recently, I random thought popped in my head, telling me not to eat and maybe just have dinner. I'm not sure where it came from or why I felt that way but that's why it scared me the most. It basically made me feel like I enjoyed not eating, like it was becoming a routine for me. These past few days, every time I eat junk food, I feel like I'm cheating and I feel upset or sick. It mainly happened today, as it was my first day of starting this. I didn't eat until I felt emotionally unstable and starving and then I binged. I felt really upset after and then during dinner, every time I dished out pasta I didn't stop eating but I felt like I was going to throw up. I'm not sure what's wrong with me and I'm really scared so if anyone knows please tell me, thanks so much.

[Minnie87]

Hi there,Well done for reaching out to someone.its so tough to do that sometimes isnt it.

When i was in my teens i woke up one day and something told me i couldnt swallow food.so for two years i ate soup and nothing more.i was convinced i would choke and die.it literally just came from no where but at the time i was going through a tough time and it was almost an escape.

Sometimes people have a random thought and it can become all consuming and start to take over your life.the best thing that i can suggest and what i did was went to speak to my doctor and my mum.they were both fantastic and not judgmental and slowly i started to have less of the thoughts around choking.

There is nothing wrong with you at all.life and society have changed so much over the years and there is a constant pressure to be or behave a certain way.its exhausting.

I would say speak to somebody that you trust who can help you and be there for you and everything will be okay in the end x

[someoneoutthere in reply to Minnie87]

Thank you so much for sharing that with me. I'm sorry you had to go through that, and I'm really happy that you're much better now. it's really reassuring for me and I, and I myself, feel a lot better now xx