Feeling low and stressed in my job feels like I will lose everything but I am struggling to work

[snipersmithy]

Hi all, never posted anything like this before. I have been a mechanic for around 5 years now I am 26. I lost my dad around 18 months ago and struggled like hell with depression. I have changed job 4 times since and managed to get by but recently I am finding the stress unbearable and I am making mistakes at work. I cost my employer over a grand because my mind is not in the right place now. I have debt and I have a wonderful fiance who I love and I have spoke to her a bit about it. I feel the need to go on sick leave but how do I pay my way. I am terrified I will lose my partner even though she says she will support me no matter what, I feel so guilty because she works hard everyday and I feel useless and that she deserves better. I felt like smashing my hand up or something so I had a real reason not to go to work and I don't know what to do.

[Hidden]

Hey it's ok..sorry to hear about your dad..and sorry to hear you are feeling like this..to me your reasons are real..you don't need to smash your hand to prove anything.. Most of us understand what you are going through so good on you for reaching out on here.. Have you told your boss what you are going through? Your still working for him right even though you cost him?..I would tell him..Can you look for another job?..I've changed jobs over 13 times and nothing wrong with that..Your girlfriend will support you..talk to her for advice..dont deal with this alone..like you said, your mind is not in the right place, so of course you will feel guilty and useless, but really you aren't..you have a few obstacles in your way right now which you need to sort out before you get back on track and you will..don't be too hard on yourself..I hope and I'm sure you will find the support you need on here..be strong.

[snipersmithy in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for your reply, I am taking the step of talking to my boss today and also the doctor who I have an appointment with today. I am feeling a little less hopeless now than I did a few hours ago because I have decided to confront it

[Hidden in reply to snipersmithy]

Yeah good..we are also here for you..

[RachieW]

Sorry to hear you are going through this. I’m currently struggling with my dad suffering terminal cancer and sometimes I find the process of coming to work so difficult so I can relate totally. The best advise I can give is to speak to your employer and explain they have a duty of care to you and if you’re struggling let them know. Maybe take a week off sick you can self certify for a week and maybe a little Destress will help.

[Jeff1943]

snipersmithy, you need a break from the bad feelings you are experiencing because your job and maybe other things depend on it. And you need that respite as quickly as possible.

When things become overwhelming there is nothing wrong in asking your doctor for a course of tranquiliser meds. They will make you feel normal again and help you to stabilise your job and relationship. They will not cure you of the problem, when you stop taking them the problems may return. But they will buy time in which you can also educate yourself about anxiety disorder and self-help methods of recovery in readiness for when you come off the meds.

So I would say take the meds, forget all the nonsense about side effects and addiction, you need a period of respite now.

[Hopefortoday]

just get back on the horse show up one day at a time and you will heal. You won’t loose it all grief is tricky.