Christmas has always been my favourite time of year. I love the cosy and loving feeling I usually get around this time, but this year I haven't felt it and I'm gutted. I feel like my mind hasn't been working properly, like I haven't given time and thought to the presents I've gotten people. I sat in front of my partners presents I got him and cried because I feel like they don't reflect how much I think of him, like I'm not doing enough to show my appreciation although he's told me over and over that he'd be happy to go without. I've just had this constant heaviness in my chest since I started my Christmas holidays. Consequently I'm lying awake not feeling myself when usually I'd be out for the count. I've been up and down for the past few weeks and it's so frustrating.
Does anybody else feel this way?
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Mandy26
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12 Replies
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yeah me :(. My 13 year old son came downstairs before and asked if he could open a present on xmas eve, ive only got him the one present, which is a new computer ive had to get out the catalogue, i feel awful. Ive bought my 3 older girls a few presents and my bf a few presents, which dont add up to what the computer costs, i feel that awful that im planning on going out tomorrow to get him something else for him to open. Ive not been myself these past few months, been feeling like utter poop and not myself, ive done all my xmas shopping online or out the catalogue. I used to love xmas, i was worse than a kid but this year, i cba, my xmas spirit has gone and i want it back!
Hi linny. That's exactly how I feel, like just want to keep going out and buying things to top things up. I understand your present number vs money issue too. Last year I would have thought it's fine, it's a quality present and they'll understand but this year I just have no sense of logic. I'm just looking at everything and thinking everything's not good enough. I think usually I spend a lot of time picking presents out but this year has been a rush.
I think the fact that you got your son such a specific present sounds great though, boys and their toys. You probably won't hear a peep out of him on Xmas day he''ll be too fixed!
Wish I could get my spirit back too. The only time I feel relaxed and excited is terribly, when I've had a drink. I seem to forget the negatives (that sounds bad, I'm not drinking to relax, it's just a benefit)
Another thing I've noticed is how withdrawn I've become. I'm a bit of a loner as it is anyway but I've just had this urge to get away from it all (as in escape to the country) Also my dog (my other love of my life) hasn't been well so i feel bad for him and just want him next to me all the time. He always makes me feel calmer but I feel like I'm obsessive with being around him at the minute.
My son has everything to be honest, i hardly see him, he's always on his xbox talking to his mates in his room, i just felt awful that ive only got him the one present this year, although it cost more than everyone elses.
I understand feeling elated and relaxed after having a drink, i used to ave a few glasses of wine years ago to feel a bit relaxed. These days tho, i dont drink, i may have to odd glass of baileys.
I understand. I had to go out and even things up, even if it was a small thing just to put my mind at rest. I couldn't cope with the nagoing feeling. I'm still not 100% happy but feel better. X
Omg i feel exactly the same, withdrawn but feeling isolated and ive always been a bit of a loner, even as a kid. Ive always wanted to escape to the country, in a log cabin, miles away from everyone, with a big fireplace.
My dog also has not been well, she's an 11 year old gsd and her back legs are going (old age), been the vets for a few weeks now, all they can do is keep her comfortable and pain free and put her on long term medication.
how weird is that? that our lives are virtually near the same haha strange innit
Hi linny. I've had to just accept that I have to give the presents I've got. I'm sure the look on your sons facevwhen he opens his present will instantly make you forget about the worry ypuve gone through. Maybe we''re being too hard on ourselves.
I hope your dog is ok. It's the worst when they're not right and they look at you with those puppy eyes.
It is strange.
You two may not realise it but you bear out what I have always said. The people on this site are some of the most courageous I have known. Through all this you can still have a chat and with a bit of humour too. I wonder if the people 'out there' who regard us as weak, would be half as courageous if faced with the same problems. I do hope both your dogs stay OK.
Awww Mandy. I know how you feel! I am over here in the UK having a breakdown and my family are at home worrying about me, rather than enjoying their Christmas. You have to understand that sometimes, just everyone being together is enough. You're partner is probably more than happy with just having you and seeing you feeling better.
Sending you hugs!
Blimey Linny a computer isnt cheap. What happened to the apple and a orange in a stocking. I am sure your lad will be happy with a computer. We put ourselves under so much pressure with presents.
This year the lads have had the same amount and the eldest two get it cash in hand. They prefer to buy their own things. Little un stacks of lego, even that is expensive. My mum is worrying that she hasnt got my little lad much. I think they should appreciate what they have.
Bit more carefree about Chrimbo this year, as a lot of my friends are.
Dont put yourself under extra pressure. There are children out there not getting anything. Hee hee thats what i say. Your children are lucky.
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