I’ve failed 😞

[Cs131193]

Hello everyone! Hope you’re all ok!

I feel like such a failure, I got fired today for too much time off. All I want to do is sit and cry 😞 I’ve let everyone down, even more so my partner 😟

I don’t know what to do 😐

[Starrlight]

You are defidently not a failure. You needed to take off those days and it’s not your fault. You are an amazing person! I hope you will find understanding from your partner. I cannot work right now, it’s way too much so it’s rough but my partner is understanding. I’m sure you will find more work when the time comes.

[Cs131193 in reply to Starrlight]

Thank you Starrlight. My partner understood and took it better than I expected. I sat up most of the night crying, but today i've managed to bounce back and i'm back on the job hunt. I am going to contact citizens advice too because i've looked at my contract and employee handbook and theres things in it that point to issues in the way I was dismissed.

[Starrlight in reply to Cs131193]

Wow that was quick, girl! Glad you bounced back. You are amazing and smart of you to to contact citizens advice. I am also really glad your partner was understanding. Best to you my friend!!!

[Cs131193 in reply to Starrlight]

I think it helps that I have such a positive and supportive family around me helping me to refocus on the positives. Thank you! Best to you too!

[Starrlight in reply to Cs131193]

Nice! You are blessed.

[Agora1]

As long as we have tried, we are not a failure Cs.... You have let no one down, not yourself and certainly not your partner. We didn't ask for Anxiety, we were predisposed to it. We do the best we can with what we have been given. Sometimes we succeed, sometime it's too much for us to handle at the time. But....it is never because we didn't try.

What you do now is think of all the qualities you have within you that you like. Don't focus on the negative. Today will pass, leave it there. Go forward when you are ready, knowing that you are stronger and more prepared than today. My mantra when things might not go my way is "I am Woman, hear me Roar"..... We care xx

[Cs131193 in reply to Agora1]

Thank you Agora1. I can't help but feel that I have let people down. Its a horrible feeling because I have a few people who I know will judge me for it because they always have judged when things go wrong which makes me feel more anxious and almost slightly depressed. I've been questioning what I did to deserve the things that have happened in life, but i'm sure we all do that at some point. I'm just going to try and stay positive and face things with a can do attitude and show myself that I 'can' and I 'will'. Your mantra seems to be very powerful, I should adopt a mantra of my own, maybe it will help thank you xx

[Hope4me2018]

There is something better waiting for you. When one door closes another opens. Your tongue and what you speak has great ruling over your life. You are not a failure! You are destined for greatness. Life is a fight, are you willing to fight?

[Cs131193 in reply to Hope4me2018]

Thank you Hope4me2018. Your words resonate a lot. I'm sure I can take this experience and turn it into a positive and use it to show everyone that I can pick myself back up and dust myself off and get back to doing what I do best...being ME! Yes...this is a fight I am willing to do and I will WIN!

[kjharvey]

Hi there. I wanted to share something with you in hopes that it will help. I "acquired" anxiety after a traumatic brain injury this past July 4th, 2017. I had never been an anxious person so in the beginning and even some days now, it's hard to understand. Before the accident I was a correctional nurse. I was also the primary earner for my family. Imagine how much worse the anxiety gets thinking it's your fault your family is struggling. There is a silver lining here, I'm not trying to depress you. Because of the level of damage my poor brain received, I will never return to the career I loved. But every day I got up. Every day I started researching, it's a slow process, but eventually my husband sparked a ray of hope. At the end of every storm beauty is revealed. I began taking classes online to find ways to give me forward momentum. I have become certified as a Master Mindfulness and Reiki Teacher/ Practitioner. This has been the most beneficial for getting a handle on the anxiety. With the help of my sister-in-law I am training my own service dog (Yes, you can get one for anxiety, mine alerts to situations that could cause elevated anxiety levels, is trained to remember things I forget like my wallet, he also is working on deep pressure therapy. That is specifically to calm the attack before it gets bad). And I am back in school, retraining to a career where I can still help people, but now I only practice natural medicine. It's ok to have a bad day, it's ok to feel your feelings, the best thing for me was when I became aware of why I felt them, how much they affected me, and situations that triggered them. There are natural products available to ease your anxiety, if possible, Google to see if there is a mindfulness practitioner in your area you could talk to.

I am by no means trying to tell you what to do, but hopefully sharing something you will find useful.

You are not a failure. The only person that has the power to make you believe that is you. You are a beautiful person and have good intentions, and wish to ease your anxiety.

I would love to share more if you or anyone else is interested.

Thanks for the chance to share my thoughts with you.

[notgottaname in reply to kjharvey]

I am interested in having chats. I too suffer horrible anxiety but strangelynot when it comes to dealing with children. My first day on my new job I found myself stuck in a room in my house and couldn't step through the door for 20 minutes.. horrific shakes and tears and kept saying no, bad news for a 49 year old man who needs to be the breadwinner. Perhaps what I need to hear is that I have options when all is lost.cos right now as I sit here shaking waiting for the 2nd day it feels as though I don't and the only option open to stop the pain is one I don't want to look at.

[kjharvey in reply to notgottaname]

Of course I would be happy to talk with you. Having someone who understands how you feel because they have felt the same way, and at times still do can be therapeutic and comforting.

[Cs131193 in reply to kjharvey]

Thank you kjharvey for your reply. I'm sorry you had to go through that but it sounds like you have achieved amazing things since then and are continuing to do so! You're killing it Are there any natural medicines that you would recommend for the anxiety? I would love to hear more and to keep in touch about how your journey is going

I will definitely try and find a mindfulness practitioner, its something I've been meaning to do for a long time but I've never had the courage to actually do it.

Seeing that everyone else on here has told me I am not a failure is easing my hurt slightly and i'm sure as every day passes I will become like you and achieve greatness in what I do

Thank you!

[kjharvey in reply to Cs131193]

I can help with the mindfulness practice if you have a hard time finding someone. Aromatherapy is amazing for decreasing anxiety and keeping you grounded. I create my own blends but you can also purchase pre blended oils. Just make sure they are listed as 100% pure and natural and not just therapeutic grade, that doesn't mean anything. Also, you can try going for a walk, meditation (it's ok if you can't quiet your mind, just focus on the breath). Hope that helps, would be happy to stay in touch.

[Cs131193 in reply to kjharvey]

Any guidance on anything that could help would be greatly welcomed and appreciated 🙂 what sort of oil blends do you recommend?

[kenster1]

that's a shame.i would have thought they would be more understanding towards your situation.discriminating against someone suffering aint right.hey your not a failure and never should feel that way.im sure your partner will understand.you will come back stronger for this I'm sure of it.

[Cs131193 in reply to kenster1]

Thank you kenster1! Me too, I was certified unwell by my doctor on all but the last absence so I will be visiting citizens advice or some employment tribunal/solicitor to hopefully see if I can get some advice on how to appeal, if I am entitled to.

Yes! We anxiety sufferers achieve such great things and we always fight back in one way or another. Thank you once again for your kind words!

[Preciouslamb1]

You are not a failure !! I’m sorry this happened! ((Hugs))

[Cs131193 in reply to Preciouslamb1]

Thank you for your kind words Preciouslamb1 Hugs to you too xx

[Hateanxiety]

Hello Cs131193,I understand how you feel. I am a simple house wife but I suffer with anxiety. I feel like a failure everyday,I have a situation with eating,it is a phobia of mine that I will get food stuck in my throat and choke. On top of that I constantly feel like I have a lump in my throat anyway,I feel like I can't get a good enough breath,and like I am not here sometimes. My children ask all the time" mom,when will you be like you use to be,I miss the old you". I wake daily telling my self, "today you will eat normally,I will not have any issues with eating or anxiety". In the end I still end up with the same problems,my poor husband has been put through so much. I was raised that a woman was to be strong,take care of her house,husband,and children,I still cook,clean and make sure the children are taken care of but its hard at times. I cry constantly,my husband says I am doing fine,that I am not a problem and this will pass but all I can think is "why is he will me,I'm a weak failure that can't even sit and eat a meal without fear". So in my opinion,you are far from a failure. You are a lot stronger than I am hon.

[Cs131193 in reply to Hateanxiety]

hello hateanxiety. Thank you for your reply. I'm sorry that you're going through that, it sounds absolutely awful Your husband is right...you are doing fine...you're fighting through everyday and thats all anyone can ask of you...you're a tough cookie, don't let anyone make you crumble! He's with you because he loves you, you're amazing, you're beautiful and you are strong. To him you are wonderwoman! You have the ability to take on the worst that is thrown at you and still you push on...you are destined for fantastic things. You are stronger than you think and than you may feel sometimes. Keep doing you girl! You're smashing it!

[Hateanxiety]

Thank you Cs131193,you are a amazing,strong and beautiful woman as well. If you ever feel you are alone or just need a friend,I am always here. Message anytime day or night.

Heather