Dying

[Andyp1203]

I am a long term sufferer of anxiety and depression and have now become constantly fearful of cancer or heart disease killing me in the near future

[vision2reality]

I lessened these types of fears by rethinking my views on dying. It has changed a lot because I do not fear it anymore. We often fear the unknown.

[Jeff1943]

You're fearful of dying of cancer or heart disease in the near future.

Any hard evidence? Any scans or blood tests indicating tumours? Or ECGs or angiograms suggesting heart disease?

No? I think you would have mentioned it if there were.

So you're extremely unlikely to die of these diseases soon. But you still have this fear. And the chances are that if you had an MRI scan when it came back clear you would think something had been overlooked and some terminal illness was still imminent.

You are not alone in this, Andy, many people here have this extreme form of health anxiety and I'll explain why.

When you develop high anxiety through too much worry, trauma, over-work, stress etc your nervous system becomes hyper sensitive. In this state it exaggerates all our normal concerns tenfold into major problems.

A leaking tap becomes a major emergency. A problem with our mobile phone/cellphone becomes a crisis. A job interview a dreaded ordeal.

Most people have a natural concern not to die prematurely. But if you have anxiety disorder, or more specifically health anxiety, this is magnified into a major obsession that death is imminent.

It's a symptom of anxiety that's hard to talk yourself out of. My suggestion is: don't even try. Just accept the strange thoughts for the time being. In your heart of hearts you know it's not going to happen so just go along with the thought for the moment.

Instead turn your attention towards the cause of your obsession and not the obsession itself. That means desensitising your over-sensitised nervous system which is causing you to magnify your concerns about dying out of all proportion.

Stop flooding your nerves with fear every time you think of dying prematurely. Accept the strange thoughts calmly and with the minimum of fear. Accept them and get on with your daily life. Tap your innermost reserves of strength to control your fear. And because you're no longer lashing your nerves with fear and stress hormones they return to normal. And normal nerves don't exaggerate small concerns out of all proportion.

That's the story, Andy, that's what this obsession with early death is all about. And that's how to deal with it - accept it and in the fullness of time you will regain your peace of mind.

[Hidden in reply to Jeff1943]

thank you so much for your advise

[Andyp1203 in reply to Jeff1943]

Thanks for your wise words Jeff I will try to apply what you suggest, again many thanks.

[Dontpanicjule in reply to Jeff1943]

Jeff, your words of wisdom are so appreciated by many people on this site. You have worked hard to manage your fear and you are to be commended. I, too, sufferfrom anxiety. Small things become so anxiety-ridden for me, and yet, I lead a blessed life...wonderful husband, two beautiful homes...one in PA and one in Florida, a wonderful daughter and stepchildren and 6 beautiful grandchildren. Gratitude!!!! Thank you again for your sagacity and reassurance. Bless you, dear Jeff.

Dontpanicjule

[Jeff1943 in reply to Dontpanicjule]

That's very kind of you, Dontpanicjule, but I only pass on the words of Claire Weekes who many years ago developed her Acceptance method for recovery from high anxiety and described it in her first short book "Hope and help for your nerves" (U.S. title).

Doctor Weekes' book has helped untold thousands to fully recover or, if their anxiety is inherited, to manage and minimise it.

If you haven't read it I would certainly recommend it to everyone: although written 50 years ago it has in the last few years received 1,750 reviews on both the U.S. and U.K. versions of Amazon combined and 90% rated it either Very Good or Excellent.

When anxiety first made itself known to me in 1974 there was a copy on my mother's bookshelf, I was most fortunate.

You are right, we should all count our blessings, I have a great-grandson and another on the way.

In all things, including dripping taps, we must keep a sense of proportion.

I wish you well on your journey to regain your quiet mind.

[Dontpanicjule in reply to Jeff1943]

What a wonderful note, Jeff. And thank you. Yes, I have been an afficionado of Claire Weekes for many years. She was a forerunner and she has set the standard for all CBT that has come since. What a wonderful woman. I have all her books, and got some of her LPS when LPS were available. What a remarkable woman? If only she were stil with us.

Best regards, and thank you,

Julie

[Sherrie44]

I’m the same way Andy. I got bloodwork done Friday cause I was on accutane for cystic acne well the called me from the clinic I went to that’s 4 hours away and told me my white cell count was low and so was something else that makes my immune system very low and to go to emerge right away well omg. So I went he says it’s probably from the acctubut to consult my doctor Monday and do bloodwork once a week to see if those to things improve which they should but if not I have to go see a hematologist now that scares me but I’m hoping they go up since I took myself off that. But try not to dwell on that if you feel fine then enjoy that day watch a funny movie spend time with family friends

[Jeff1943 in reply to Sherrie44]

Sherrie, accutane is well known for affecting blood counts such as white blood cells, in fact 10% of people who take accutane have this side effect so it's very common.

I think you made the right decision to stop using it but obviously liase with the doctor who prescribed it fof an alternative that doesn't have this unwanted side effect.

So don't worry, go talk to your doctor Monday and have some further blood tests, I'm pretty sure your white blood cells and other constituents of your blood will return to normal after a short while because you have stopped taking the accutane.

Try and relax, your body is just reacting to the accutane with a very common side effect but do see your doctor Monday and get a blood test or two to confirm things.

[Sherrie44 in reply to Jeff1943]

Thanks Jeff there was also another low count can’t remember neu sonethimg from what I seen mine was .2 it’s suppose to be 2.00 and over. Plus I deal with major anxiety which I took one of my pills for at 1:30 today. But there sending my bloodwork to a pathologist I guess to rule stuff out but my first bloodwork before I started accutane was fine and the doc at emerge lastnight said he’s 95 percent sure it’s from accutane but I have to wear a mask if I go anywhere cause my immune system is so low so I’m staying in lol ty for your reply have you been on this or knew someone

[Jeff1943 in reply to Sherrie44]

I've read sbout it somewhere that's all, I think the important thing is that your first bloodwork before you started accutane was fine, that says it all. No doubt your doctor will prescribe something else for your acne problem that won't have bad side effects.

[Sherrie44 in reply to Jeff1943]

I have another app with a dermatologist here where i live in June so I’m going to see what she says. And yes that’s why I’m not so worried since the first one was fine

[Sherrie44 in reply to Jeff1943]

There’s nothing else I can’t take like accutane for cystic acne that would help like that so I’m back to square one but I’ll find something it’s out there

[Natsteveo]

Hi Andyp1203

This is a classic case of health anxiety my friend I know this as I've had it for almost 12 years it started with just normal anxiety and depression. Then my mum had stomach problems and we sadly discovered she had pancreatic cancer she died in my arms 7 weeks after that and it was a very hard time and so quick and she was only early 50's so that triggered off my health anxiety massively everything medical I get like blood tests like Sherrie44 and i had raised white blood cells and high platelets my world came crashing down i googled it and the only thing that came up on screen was bone cancer or leukaemia i made a huge deal out of it made myself so ill seriously...any pain or illness I get i automatically think I've got cancer or some terminal illness..but I have to completley block anything to do with cancer or anything like that out my head I had to train my brain completley different it's not easy to live with and it's not nice to go through and it's so hard to explain to people as well but it is because we fear death the unknown and it's inevitable as well which is scary for most of us and I also think it's because we have no control over it either but the best thing to do is tell yourself you are not alone alot of people live with this so it's normal honestly your stronger than you give yourself credit for

Here if you need to talk I totally understand how you feel

Nat

[flaxxy703]

we keep our symptoms alive by preoccupation, imagination and exaggeration; fear is a belief and beliefs can be changed; fearful anticipation is worse than realization; we are a capable lot but we paralyze ourselves with needless fears; fear and anger are the basis of the illness. stay well

[Mark1256]

right there with you. Heart is my big concern even though I am good. I made myself let go and let life take its course. I tell myself let go of being aware all the time and just whats good for you. For now, its working and I am slowly calming down. Its not good to be tense all the friggin time. Good luck!