I think I am losing it...

[plushiesaremyjam]

I think I’m losing my mind...there is so much fuzziness in my head right now. I’m having really bad anxiety right now. I went to the doctor with my friend yesterday (like her anxiety medicine doctor) and I had gone to her once before she moved locations. But I saw one of her colleagues in her doctors office. And it was an awful experience lemme tell ya. She at first (the other doctor not the Samr doctor my friend sees) was giving me an evaluation. Which might I add she never told me what I was diagnosed yet or if I even had anything and all she did was say “so what do you want me to do? Give you a prescription?” LIKE no not really I want you to tell me what is wrong with me and why do I have such bad anxiety. Well I was prescribed Buspar that day. Buspar was going to be my first “big” Medicine. And by big I mean anything other than antibiotics and Benadryl and Motrin. So the doctor never told me how to actually take the medicine. She said just follow the directions on the package. Well here we go. Buspar is one of those medicines that’s scored in 3 parts. So it can be divided into 3 pieces. Well my mom used to work in animal welfare and She said that she would usually give the animals in her care their pills but the scored sections instead of the whole pill. So she said that we should do that for me. But we ended up following the directions and I took the whole pill. Bad. Idea. I ended up waking up the next morning feeling like i had a blanket over my head. It was awful. I couldn’t feel emotions. I couldn’t feel anything and I wanted out. I didn’t want it. So after 2 doses I stopped taking it and I just told my mom and myself that I just wanted to go the natural route. Eat better. Use essential oils do yoga yadda yadda. And it’s working pretty well for me! It gets a little better every day. But ok. So yesterday I went with my friend to her doctor and she wanted me to Be in the room with her and then her doctor switched her medicine over to Buspar. And that is where I learned about the whole scoring thing. So...yeah...anxiety is super high also because I think I am going to slip into psychosis. I don’t see or hear anything out of the ordinary. I don’t think people are out to get me. I just sometimes see stuff out of the corner of my eye. Nothing other than like a double take sometimes. But my anxiety chalks that up to “you are crazy.” So...am I going crazy?

[claire0410]

No, you are not crazy. The doctor that prescribed the medicine was really irresponsible. I have never gone the med route, but when I was considering it my doctor went through all the possible meds, explained what I could expect as far as side effects, and emphasized that it was better to start off with smaller doses and work up to bigger doses. What you are experiencing may be entirely due to the med. Give it a few days to get completely out of your system and go from there.

That being said, my anxiety has gone from moderate to more on the mild side with therapy. I can get through daily life with little or no problems. I don't have any real issues with leaving my house, working, being social and active so I'm okay with me decision not taking meds at the present time. I have times were anxiety is walking right along side of me, but it really doesn't have that gut punch it used to. Give going it without meds a try, keep talking to someone you can be comfortable with, get counseling and see how it goes. I am rooting for you! It can get better.

[plushiesaremyjam in reply to claire0410]

Thanks for your reply! I actually started my medicine like last year and after 2 dosages I said nope not gonna do this. My friend however has been taking meds for a long time and this new medicine is something she hasn’t taken yet. I am good about leaving the house and I can do anytning I want to do really. I do have issues with over thinking but hey it’s alright. I am usually able to talk myself out of the anxiety like by being mindful and such.

[plushiesaremyjam in reply to claire0410]

And I also have a therapist. I just over think a lot. Almost every day. But It’s getting easier to deal with. I’m also a senior in Highschool so im like super stressed about graduation and everything

[claire0410]

This is a stressful time. I'm sure you are thinking about all the changes that are coming your way. It can be very scary to think about the future and your place in it! This much I know - you are young and you have wonderful things awaiting you. There will be times that you may struggle, but you sound like you have your wits about you and are doing everything you can to get through these moments. I am old enough to be your grandmother ( a young one, of course!) and I know from experience that "this too, shall pass" and you have the strength and perseverance to build a great life! Believe that everything will come together and there's an excellent chance it will.