Need someone to talk about to

[Trees2357]

Is there anyone that wants to talk

[lhortiz]

Hey you!

I'm here for you if you'd like to talk.

[Trees2357]

I have anxiety and depression for 5 years. I'm on medication and don't want to be. I'm afraid of the anxiety and thoughts. I can't stop the thoughts and the anxiety gets worse. The thoughts may be obsessive

[pccogni in reply to Trees2357]

Are you taking any medication?

[Hidden]

Hi Trees,

Rumination is a difficult one - do you think that’s what you do?! It’s closely linked to depression if you are that way inclined.

How are you feeling now?

[Trees2357 in reply to Hidden]

Yes I ruminate that's my nature. Not the best.

[Trees2357 in reply to Hidden]

When anxiety is down rumination isn't bad. It's hard to do this with no support

[Hidden in reply to Trees2357]

Hi Trees I have gone all of my life without medication and it did not get better for me until I went to church and read my Bible. When I start to think on things I do not want to I remember what God says. I personally think it is difficult to get counseling for anxiety without adding in your faith. I still do not take meds but my thought life is a lot better, it could be just the sheer number of years I suffered with this but I know my faith has kept me from sinking deeper into it. God says he did not give us the spirit of fear but a sound mind. A self controlled mind is what he has given us. Fight the thoughts, replace them with another thought. It is difficult for awhile, seems like you are losing the battle and then one day it just gets better. You are in control of your thought life, do not let unwanted thoughts rule you. Remember like any new habit, it takes awhile to replace it. They say 21 days butI think it takes much longer than that. The mess might help you, unless you feel strong enough to do this on your own, you may want to stick with the meds. Be firm with your husband, there is no stigma fir taking medication for an illness, ask him to be supportive. His not wanting his wife to have an illness can be understood but you have to deal with the hand that you have been dealt. Remember God loves you; I do not know if you are a religious person or what your religion is but Jesus loves you and so do I in Christ. Be blessed and keep your head up and fight the good fight back to health and wholeness. God be with you.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Hi trees, I meant to say the meds might help you. Sorry

[Trees2357 in reply to Hidden]

I have a hard time stopping or changing thoughts.

[Hidden in reply to Trees2357]

It is difficult for awhile. But it is necessary even when the thought gets through not to be upset with yourself, create a new thought immediately after until you can start changing them mid stream. Some thoughts may continue to get in but if you create a thought you want to have, then you get use to controlling your mind. I use the Bible; I am my a very social person so I do my have a lot of personal experiences to use to replace the thought. Even just challenging the thought. If for instance your thought is “my husband is going to be so upset with me because”, you can replace it with, I do not know exactly but maybe, “my husband may get upset but I will explain to him why I did....I want my husband to understand and not worry about me”. Each time those fearful thoughts come challenge them. Decide what you want to think and think it.

[Trees2357 in reply to Hidden]

Sometimes I'm crying all day

[Hidden in reply to Trees2357]

You will be ok. Fight for your health, for your wholeness. Never give up hope. You are in a journey to getting well. Will there be some bad times, yes, but in the end you will be successful

[Starrlight]

Hi Trees, I hear ya. The thoughts when they act like fuel for anxiety is hurting and won’t stop are so rough to go through. I’m so exhausted today from it all. But you’ll have times of relief. Hang in there.

[Trees2357 in reply to Starrlight]

Doctor is trying to take meds down. My husband doesn't want me on meds

[Starrlight in reply to Trees2357]

So are YOU wanting to go off of meds?

[Trees2357 in reply to Starrlight]

I don't like taking meds But if I don't I may get worse. So I'm scared to go off

[Starrlight in reply to Trees2357]

Same here, I get that. How long have you been on them for? What does your doc think ?

[Trees2357 in reply to Starrlight]

I don't know what doc thinks. He doesn't want to take me down but my husband does. He thinks meds are causing this. I'm trying a new psychiatrist in two weeks.

[Hidden in reply to Trees2357]

I wonder having little battles with yourself, husband, doctors may actually be contributing...

Do you take time out to do something you KNOW takes you away from your thoughts? I make sure I go outside with no phone. Preferably near horses or water.

[Trees2357 in reply to Hidden]

I have no where to go. My husband doesn't want me to drive the car

[Trees2357 in reply to Hidden]

Yes it is. I have a lot going on. Husband doesn't want me on pills He gets mad at me. I don't do this on purpose.

[Trees2357 in reply to Trees2357]

I have no support. Just Pastor.

[Indigojoe in reply to Trees2357]

Trees2357, We have all been reading your posts for the past year. Your posts are all the same. Whom may I ask is posting for you? You don't tell us how the RANCH has been for you these past 2 weeks, and with this forum, you have hundreds of people supporting you.

So it's not true you have no support. You have a lot of advice given and you take none of it. SO

Something is fishy here. How about you pull back the veil and fill us in on whats really going on here.

[b1b1b1 in reply to Indigojoe]

Exactly what I think. Well said.

[Trees2357 in reply to Indigojoe]

I didn't go to the ranch my family doesn't want me too however I'm still keeping it as an option. When I read reviews it seemed as though they did more addiction than mental health.

[Hidden in reply to Trees2357]

So, I think this is a big issue and will be contributing to (or even giving you) any anxiety more than you can even begin to imagine. I promise you, I know. I’ve been there.

You absolutely don’t do this on purpose!!! You are feeling lousy and I want you to feel supported, so keep coming on here when you need to. Also, call up helplines if you need to. I am a little concerned about the controlling nature of your husband, if I’m honest.

x

[Starrlight]

((((((Trees)))))))) why doesn’t he want you to drive may I ask? Anyway you can sit out in the sunshine without driving.

[Trees2357 in reply to Starrlight]

Because I had an accident before Christmas I hit a mailbox. And because I'm on pills

[Hidden]

Have to get some sleep now Trees. Take good care. Maybe get some fresh air tomorrow if you can?! Or spend some time stretching your body. Find a video on you tube.

Toxins from difficulties in your life can make all of this worse.

I don’t want you to be isolated or being purposefully isolated.

[Trees2357 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you!

[Hidden]

Hi yes talk to me, what's going on in your life

[Starrlight]

Oh I understand. Sending you positive vibes. I wish I could do more...wishing you sweet dreams and a fresh new start.

[Ag27]

Have you tried cbd oil? The kind without the THC (that gets you "high"). Cbd oil is a great alternative to industrial meds for anxiety and depression.

[Trees2357 in reply to Ag27]

I did it wasn't helping

[Agora1 in reply to Trees2357]

Trees, I've known you for a long time now. It breaks my heart in that I have never seen so much negativity in one's life as there is in yours. Your family life is in chaos, you don't trust the doctors or therapist's opinions and so you stay stuck in being neither here nor there.

I would be scared too and I have been in the past. Second guessing the doctor's advice, fearful of your family's response, needing someone to guide you but no one seems to be there. The people on the forum have been reaching out to you in good faith. Suggestions and advice seems to go along the wayside because you've tried it all and nothing works.

Your fears keep growing until you wake up and go to sleep in a cycle of fear begeting fear. Something needs to be done that will stop that fear from escalating. The state you are in now is preventing you from doing it on your own. I am not a doctor or a therapist but I care about you and want to see you get well. I only write by my experiences in life and what I'm about to suggest is because I have seen what stepping out of the norm can do for a patient. I'm wondering if any doctor has ever suggested ECT (Electroconvulsive Therapy) for you. It is not as bad as the words apply. Sometimes when problems are so deep seated that medication and talk therapy have no success, ECT may be the way to go.

I hope with the new psychiatrist you will be seeing in 2 weeks, you will be honest and open with them and give them a chance (with an open mind) to help you. As I've said before Trees, we all hold the key to our success. Unless you are willing to listen to your doctor only and not your family or even the forum. Since we can only comfort and support you but it's your doctors that know your health and mental history and can best serve you.

Everyone on the forum cares about you. We care about each other and that is what makes it a great forum. I hope you know that I am writing this message because I hear your pain and I care enough to want you to get better. There's a life out there waiting for you. A life you so deserve to live. Existing in fear day in and day out is not the way to go. You are going to have to take it upon yourself to BELIEVE that you WILL get better. Nothing is done overnight. You must give it time.

Negativity no longer deserves to be in your life. Don't cry but get angry that this Anxiety Entity has taken control of your thoughts and only you can boot him to the curb by Accepting those thoughts as not harmful. I'm still here for you, the forum is still here for you. We will not desert you in your time of need. However, Trees now needs to take some responsibility and own up to your self perseverance in getting better. Love, Agora x

[Trees2357 in reply to Agora1]

I have myself scared about the ruminating thoughts. I've been doing that for a good part of my life.

[Agora1 in reply to Trees2357]

I know you are scared. Having ruminating thoughts is mentally and physically wearing. You need that break in life. I am hoping that this new psychiatrist will have a different view in helping you. xx

[Trees2357 in reply to Agora1]

I wish I had a professional to talk to now.

[Agora1 in reply to Trees2357]

Would it help if you called your therapist? My psychiatrist may have controlled

my medications but my therapist was my "go to". xx

[Trees2357 in reply to Agora1]

Do you think I should see a therapist or a psychologist

[Agora1 in reply to Trees2357]

I'd say either one because of insurance issues, whoever you can get to accept your insurance as well as not have to wait an eternity to see them is the way to go. x

[Trees2357 in reply to Agora1]

Don't psychologists have more training

[Agora1 in reply to Trees2357]

They do and can prescribe medications....it's just a matter of finding one who accepts your insurance as well as availability. xx

[Trees2357 in reply to Agora1]

I don't have a therapist right now

[Goalsetterphil]

Hi Trees i am here most days if you ever want ro chat.

Respects Phil

[Trees2357 in reply to Goalsetterphil]

I'm scared because I'm scared of the thoughts and the anxiety. Sometimes I'm sad. I've been going through this for 5 years.

[Jmerrick22]

Hey I'm here as well if you need anyone to talk to

[Trees2357]

I'm scared because my husband wants me off klonopin. So my doctor got me down off 1mg of klonopin but I'm having pain in ribs and lower back. I think it's because of the reduction in klonopin and anxiety and tension is getting worse. I'm afraid of the anxiety. Will I ever get better? Having a hard time doing things because of pain. If I don't get off drugs I won't have a family. Cry a lot.