I haven’t been on here in a while Bc I have been fighting a vicious relapse of my full blown daily panic attacks. Does anyone ever get numb on th left side of their body? This is what used to happen to me with I wasn’t in anti depressants and maybe it’s baxk Bc I took myself off anti depressants almost two or three maybe two and a half months but does anyone ever feel like they aren’t losing control and everything is moving fast around them or left side of body feeling numb like I feel like two diff seperste people reading my posts when I’m hesltby and not anxious and confident versus now I need support I need someone to tell me this happens to them and I feel so scared. I have been sleeping every single day I feel my agoraphobia gradually coming back I don’t leave the house and I’m so scared like please someone tell me they relate. Why am I sleeping all the time and why haven’t I left my room in weeks and does the left side of your body feel out of it or numb and am I going to get better ? Please advice or tell me you relate or tell me you have had times where you haven’t left your room and couldn’t get out of bed I’m so scared I need reassurance and just advice or support please I’m so scsrd
Help me now please . Complete panic relapse - Anxiety Support
Help me now please . Complete panic relapse
I am currently experiencing agoraphobia and I am trapped in my bed. I get excited for times I can sleep because it brings relief... sleep is my anesthesia. Feeling like two people is something I relate to. I refer to the anxious me and then the healthy me. Those two battle all the time. I don’t have multiple personalities or anything ... it’s just how I explain trying to reason with myself when I’m being unreasonable. I don’t get anything on the left side of my body but right before reading this I was laying here feeling my heart beat and was wondering if it felt weird because it was getting ready to stop.
I have felt that way before. Thank you for responding. I understand the not having multiple personalities thing Bc I don’t either ha I just have a super healthy me and a complete like sick me. It feels like there’s not a balance Bc I’m so happy and confident when I’m doing well Bc I know what it’s like to feel miserable and lifeless and stuck / trapped. So when I feel “normal” or I’m not experiencing overwhelming anxiety sensations or thoughts or anxiety in general I feel on top of the world. And yeah the healthy me and the hot heslthy me like what you’re saying I get 100% going back and reading the advice I have given people on this website and my posts when I’m healthy it’s like I feel jealous of the me like I’m a different person I know I’m not it’s hard to explain I am scared to even be alone though Bc I have this fear of losing control and feeling like I’m going to die even though I know I’m not Make sense kinda? Idk. My boyfriend has to be with me all the time and misses work for me but I need to know I can be okay with myself. Sorry I’m rambling Bc I’m nervous. I am so thankful you responded so quickly. Knowing someone can relate helps me so much. I hope you get to feeling better. Xo
Every single thing you just wrote... I can relate to. Being alone can be scary at times because it leaves you with just you and your brain. We kind of lose trust in ourselves with ourselves in our own hands. I think that happens because out of the two people we are ... we never know who is going to win each time when at battle. It’s almost like we look to others to be our logic when our logical selves get best down the our unhealthy selves. For example.. me being stuck in bed... my head knows that I’m not doing to die if I walk downstairs... nothing bad is likely to happen and it’s crazy to feel that way. But then when I attempt it... my body reacts with this horror of just feeling something bad is going to happen ... idk what... but something. My head keeps fighting ... “just go!” And my body hinders me. If u read my post about how to help someone who doesn’t have this understand i think you may be able to relate.
I 100% relate. Logically I know I need to make an appointment with my psychiatrist, I also know it would be in my best interest to probably start going to therapy to talk to someone weekly if not some type of group therapy/cognitive behavioral therapy, I know just taking SSRI’s again wil make a huge difference. I know (like you said, logically) I am not going to die and I can get up and maybe go for s walk and that would help so much but I also feel like that sounds terrible and scary and who knows what could happen even though I know nothing that will hurt me would happen no sound insane. I know everything that you could possibly tell me to calm me down. I sometimes feel I know too much for my own good even just hearing it from someone else feels better.
I know that it’s all controlled for the most part by the autonomic nervous system. I know that my sympathetic nervous system is responsible for my fight or flight and that sympathetic nervous system sends signals that I’m in danger but since there is no real physical threat like a lion or a tiger or whatever that’s making my body go into this mode that I look inward and feel the effects of adrenaline and cortisol pumping through my body and if there was a button to clear out all stress horomores then it would go away. And that if I was going sky diving I would feel all these sensations and not question them Bc they would be normal given the situational circumstance. I know that this response is made to protect our bodies and that it just means we are heslthy but mine panic response is an over learned response for whatever reason and a part of my brain, known as the amygdala needs to be reconditioned.
I also know I prob sound manic af but it doesn’t matter how logical I am right now or what I tell myself I don’t trust myself I can’t calm myself down like that I need someone else just to like tell me everything will be okay and they know it’s normal for this to happen and it has happened to them or someone they know and I’m not going to die and I can breathe and everything will be okay.
This is just an overwhelming loop and it’s so annoying? I feel a lot of relief when I read your response. When someone writes or says it before you have to explain it is a huge line releif because I know you already experience it and aren’t just saying it to agree. Seeing someone type your reality from their perspective is so like I keep saying, relieving. So thank you so so so much. Seriously.
You’re welcome. I too am extremely educated on all of this. I spent 5 years in college with this as my major although I didn’t finish. If you could educated away your anxiety ... we both prob would’ve done that by now. It’s ironic that I use my own education on myself! Trust me, you are not alone, you are not crazy. I know first hand what it’s like to fear yourself. That side of you is unpredictable and reactive. I have always feared killing myself ... I think I’m capable and idk how i have survived this long. I think those thoughts are the unhealthy part of me attacking me to end the pain ... but my logical side says snap out of it death isn’t the answer. When I’m not like this ... I’m wonderful! I’m funny, do my makeup like I work for Sephora or something. I laugh a lot and am confident. I cook and have cocktails out etc. I’m the strong one everyone in my life comes to. So I feel your struggle on the confusion of how you could be both!
Literally same to everything you said. I’m the person everyone well used to come to before I moved. I think it’s also not helping that I haven’t met anyone so I dot. Have friends here. I moved from Houston, Texas to Los Angeles. It’s difficult to make friends at 26 when everyone already has established a group of friends. Like I returned back to school because I too was majoring in psychology at university of Arizona in 2010 and had to leave well stop slash mental leave after one year. I did some classes st home in Houston the. I moved here and finally successfully completed a semester st SMC and got into UCLA. I had to take a break for financial reasons and am waiting to become a resident which I will be considered soon if the state of California Bc right now one class is 2 grand so I took two classes to show myself I could and now have Been waiting so I don’t work I don’t have friends and am not in school. It’s really depressing and hard but whatever that’s a whole other issue. But I feel the same in every way you described. I’m smart and confident and the (sounds really conceited ) but truthful, center of attention but am really giving , empathetic and selfless when I am healthy. And I get very scared of myself based on the way I have seen myself get almost a crazy state during my super intense panic attacks where I lose control and feed it by becomjbf more and more scared of myself. My boyfriend had had to like hold me down and calm me down to get me out of my head I fear killing myself even though I know I’m in control I get scared that I can convince myself to do anything even though the logical me would t let that happen I don’t think. Like I said it feels really good knowing someone relates. Not that I want you to feel any of this like that doesn’t make me happy just knowing I’m not alone I guess. You get it. Thanks again times one million.
I understand it all. We have a lot in common. It almost renders me speachless.
Just like skimmed over what I wrote in my responses now that I’m feeling better and am so surprised how you were able to decipher what I wrote. I was typing on my phone like over 100 words per thirty seconds and didnt realize how awful my grammar, punctuation, spelling, writing in general was. So sorry if it was hard to read but thanks again and over and over and over again. You really helped. And you didn’t have to reach out to relate but you did despite the anxieties you were feeling so thanks if you ever need me or anything at all feel free to message me! Xo
Perfect grammar isn’t important when in a state of panic. I have learned that when people reply with their own story... it begins to reroute your thought process from thinking of how you’re feeling to side tracking you. It’s a tactic I’ve learned. I am glad you are calmer now and I am here anytime! This doesn’t hit us because we are weak... fighting off ourselves when we become our own enemy takes strength. We are worse than any enemy out there because the unhealthy us knows best how to manipulate the healthy us. We have to fight battles in hopes to win the war .
Couldn’t have said it better. I have been fighting this battle since I was well starting at the age of 10 or 11. I started feeling off as young as kindergarten but I had nothing to compare it to Bc I was so young. I used to pack this little (what I refer to now as my” “survival kit”) it was like animal instincts for me at such a young age. I feel terrible for the younger me thinking back like I was so little and young and just dealt with it. So in kindergarten, each day I would lack with me to school, a bottle of crushed ice, a room temperature water bottle, a frozen water bottle, halls cherry cough drops, vic’s Vapor rub, “regular” gum, a paper lunch bag, and “spicy gum” I did this because I was experiencing minor anxiety attacks but had no idea what they were but I wanted to soothe myself now so I did what I could with what I had. Self soothing. Or even five sense soothing you could call it. I knew I would get really hot so I found that putting a frozen water bottle on the back of my neck cooled me down or placing it where my arm closed, or holding it on my wrist or where my leg closed, I knew that my mom gave me cough drops when I was sick and it helped open my lungs and assisted in me breathing so I packed the cough drops for when it felt like my throat was closing up. I would suck on a cough drop and it would alleviate the scary suffocation feeling or the sense that I couldn’t breathe. I would also rub Vic’s vapor rub under my nose and on my chest bc the smell and the vape rub opened up my best and made it feel like I could breathe easier (another thing I learned when my mom took care of me when I was sick with a cough or cold) after that my mouth would be warm from cough drop and it felt weird and I didn’t like it so I would suck on the crushed ice I brought or drink the water from the melted ice to cool my mouth down. The spicy gum was Bc I hated spicy cinnamon gum and it distracted me from whatever “scary” feeling was occurring but it also , the mint gum made me feel like it opened my airways too. The regular gum was , if you’re catching onto the 7 year old thought process I had, was to even out the spicy and I would chew on it after. The water was to slowly sip Bc it calmed me down and the brown bag was Bc I saw on an episode of rugrats that chuckie had trouble breathing once and he breathed in a paper brown lunch bag so I’d go to the rest room and do the same. Ha. Obviously I know the science or rather reasoning behind the paper bag but looking back it’s crazy I knew or learned to do all of those things. Low key I brought all of those things with me (which was obviously ocd me trying to control the symptoms and eventually when I didn’t bring one of the items I had a panic attack Bc I felt like I wasn’t in control) until my senior year of high school. And I hid it all up until my junior year of high school silently suffering. I made all a’s. I was always in student senate which even in elementary we had to be voted into it, i was voted president of student senate in fifth grade and got “principle of the day” won the spirit day award, moved onto middle school and made it on drill team in sixth grade and was voted captain still making all a’s and was voted onto student senate all three years but didn’t run for president Bc anxiety was starting to dictate small things for the first time. And I was experiencing full blown panic attacks the getting made fun of forit, but I was still doing what I wanted despite what my anxiety wanted. I tried out for cheerleading, made it, became captain then for higschool talked to my mom and wanted to leave the private school I had been at Bc it was contributing to my anxiety. Same group of people from kinder to now. It was safe until the girls became brutally mean and made fun of me so I went to a public school which helped by scared me and I spent most of the time in the nurses office. I graduated early by doing summer school to get ahead so I could get out of high school quicker. But junior year life changed when it was acknowledged and I got meds and found out it had a name. It’s exhausting. I developed chronic fatigue syndrome through this battle and a mild form of narcolepsy. My body’s form of escape is sleep I think. To protect myself from the stress. I have gone to residential treatment and just am over it. I forgot the point of this or what sparked my mind of my life story sorry to bore you but oh yeah I’d you haven’t discovered the audible you can download like now called “ DARE the new way to end anxiety and stop panic attacks “ by Barry McDonagh I highly recommend purchasing that audible NOW. It also has an app called dare response. Talks you through panic attacks and gives you an option to end the anxiety for good I’m going to start the audible over tonight Bc it cured it. You just have to stay on top of it and listen and practice what he says and it is possible to best. Let me know if you end up buying it. It changed my life and I am going to allow it to do the same again. Sorry if I bored you I totally forgot why I went back and explained my life to you. I’m sorry 😐
Thank you for sharing. It’s amazing how we coped in childhood without ever knowing we weren’t “normal”. I feel our child selves are much stronger than our adult selves at times lol. I always had minimal signs as a child and mine was officially triggered at 19. It’s seems to hit ya twice as hard once you learn what to fear about yourself. My back story is a pretty wild one as well. No one really had high hopes for me but somehow here I am. Maybe our purpose is to survive it all to help others survive until this stuff becomes fully unlocked medically.
That’s all I want to do is to help others. That’s why I’m in school. Im really glad you’re here today. And you have me if you ever need me!!! Seriously anytime I’m always here!! Xx
Thank you. Today was a decent day. I accomplished some set goals. I’m really tense and sweaty from forcing myself to stay downstairs to watch a movie. Calming down now.
Hi there! Tell me what helps decrease your anxiety?
On a healthy day preventing it, exercising, eating right, talking about it, going to bed early, waking up early, meditating, deep breathing exercises, drinking lots of water.
But in the moment when I haven’t been doing those things, I guess having. Someone to talk to, knowing someone else has experienced it. I turned on my app called calm and turned on the breathing option and I’m doing box breathing with the app so it tells me when to inhale, hold, exhale, hold. That helps. Going on walks helps even if it seems like the scariest thing in the world. Or taking magnesium baths which I can’t right now but putting magnesium into my tea this stuff called , ironically as well it’s called calm helps. Obviously taking my lorazepam helps but not completely. I guess I have lots of options and I shouldn’t resist it because what I resist persists. I need to let the nervous energy flow through me and not fight it.
Thank you for asking me that. Not sure if that was intentional and you knew it would help but I’m like crying Bc I’m just thankful and overwhelmed right now. Do you have any other advice for what helps in the moment?
Thanks so much.
😉. Making you think. When we get caught up we lose control and forget. I do best when distracted. For me it’s heavy labor!
Are u awake? I’m having extreme panic attacks. Feel like I can’t breathe properly. Need someone to talk to 
Hey Klbtc...I hope youre feeling calmer? Can I ask why u feel so scared to leave youre room? What do u feel will happen? I have had Agoraphobia for years..started around 18...I know its awful...you will get better I improved after a while but still highly anxious...I'm here if u need to talk 
Sending Hugs xx
I’m not sure. I left with my boyfriend today to go for a ride and I felt okay. It’s just I have all these routine things i have to do to prepare for whatever might happen if tbat makes sense. It takes hours to leave. But i just rolled out of bed and got into his car and am okay. I feel really like generalized anxiety. I fear I’m glinf to lose control which is why I don’t have a job. Because I have had these crazy intense panic attacks where I like felt like I didn’t know who I was and completely lost it. I’m so scared it will happen again. What did you do to get through agoraphobia? I just want to live a normal life and wake up and go to work or work out without these racing intrusive thoughts. Like I always feel like I can’t breathe even though I know I can. I know I need to get back on an anti depressant maybe that will help. I’m not sure. Thanks for reaching out. Means a lot
Your not alone, I'm also having a relapse xx
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