I dont know why i am writing this as noone can make my decision i just want to talk. So i have had bad anxiety for years. I got pregnant about a year ago and the anxiety was okay, i had heart palpitations alot and dizziness but it was the norm ! My baby is now 6 months old and he culdnt be more perfect. I have taken the next step for my anxiety and i am on citalopram 20mg and have been for nearly 2 months with progress noticeable. Problem is we have just moved into a new house with his daddy and we dont have loads of money. So yesturday i didnt come on my period so i took a test and i am 5 weeks pregnant! ( was not planned ) obviously i am happy but i am also petrified ! The timing just is not right ! We dont know what is best to do. I dont want to get rid of what will be so perfect but we are just getting on track 😞
Pregnancy: I dont know why i am writing this... - Anxiety Support
Pregnancy
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Ooo wow yes that’s so soon and tbh he’s only 6 month old he won’t be a baby for long when this one comes along lol but that’s your choice to make with your partner and maybe if your scared it mite make your anxiety worse wich is not a good thing xx
Things happen for a reason.
Do you think you could live with yourself if you had an abortion? There will always be the what if??
There is a lot of questions you need to ask yourself. But only you can make the decision. X
One more thing. I have 3 boys and work in retail definitely have no money it’s hand to mouth in my house. You don’t need loads of Money to have a child. They just need love and stability and it’s amazing what you can get second hand now in amazing condition. Good luck your make the right choice for you and your family.
Congratulations, children are a blessing, just go for it your babies will be best friends being so close in age 😀 You will be ok.
Hi I kind of get where your coming from I fell pregnant when my daughter had just turned one, I had severe anxiety throughout my pregnancy with my first daughter and even afterwards when I fell pregnant with my second so soon after so many thoughts were running through my head abortion being the main one wondering how we'd cope for money and all the rest of it, thankfully I choose to keep my second baby and it's the best decision of my life she's now four months old and honestly it's like she's been here all the time haha, personally I find it easier having two anyways good luck in your decision
x
Hi holly I too I'm pregnant with my third baby that is unplanned and I too suffer from anxiety . I was terrified as I have two other children with my partner and we work too. Money is scarce sometimes but we get buy . You's will be ok 😀sending hugs xx
You have an infant and are in your first trimester of pregnancy of unplanned pregnancy and money is tight...and you aren't certain what to do. Well, welcome to the Christmas story....the biggest unplanned pregnancy ever recorded. Except you have a roof over your head and food on the table.
This is a delicate subject and I am not going to comment on what you should decide. Guess your contraceptive didn't work. If you did not have the choice available that you appear to be hinting at,or possibly allowing the second child to be adopted, what would you do to handle another child ? Many families are just getting on their feet when a baby comes along. They manage, it's hard, but they manage.
Perhaps you should discuss this matter with a pregnancy expert, like the outreach programs by churches, such as the Catholic, and nonfaith related organizations such as Planned Parenthood, and then decide. Depending on your income you may be eligible for the WIC program and other assistance.
Best wishes for making the best decision for you and your unborn baby and your family.
Stay in touch,ok? xx
Thank you, will keep in touch x
Good. It is a very difficult thing to think about. Sometimes life happens when we are making other plans,
Please do not let anyone justify or press you by guilt, to make whatever decision you finally believe is in the best interest of your family and your pregnancy. That is why I mention two organizations which have differing approaches.
You are in my thoughts. xx
If everyone waited until life was perfect we would not have 3/4 of the children in the world. Look at your perfect child. That’s what you are making a decision about. Every expectant mother is anxious to different degrees. I lost a child in an accident and had to have a DNC which is done to remove the baby. It was the worst experience of my life and I had no choice. After which I was told I would never be able to have a child. I had a miracle child. My husband and I decided to wait a couple years after he was born to try again and I was never able to have another. Things happen for a reason. My sweet son is 23. My first child would have been 30 this year and it still breaks my heart to think about it. It is not for me to judge you. I just felt I should share my story. I love children! My sister had 3. She did not care for them. My mom raised one. She partly raised one when she wasn’t with her father and my youngest niece lives with her dad who moved her far away and won’t let us see her because he doesn’t want us to let my drug addicted sister see her. I now how 5 greats. One great niece and 4 great nephews. I love them when I get to see them but my son is single. No babies. I really don’t know what will happen but he won’t want too many. I want to be surrounded by babies. This is such a blessing you have been given that so many woman can’t have. Including me. I’m way past that age now but trust me it still hurts. Whatever you decide you will have to live with the rest of your life. Please think about that when making your decision. Whatever you decide will be your decision to make. Not your boyfriend not us no one but you. You will carry that decision and no one else will carry it as you do. Whether you make peace with the decision or don’t. I won’t pass judgement not that it matters. This just touches close to my heart and I had to share. If you need to talk, I’m here. No judgement, just love.
Hi i am sorry about what happened and thank you for sharing your story x
There are others also on this venue who have lost children before birth, buried stillborn children and a D&C is often required. Others have not been able to have children. That is not your life or concern. Each of us deals with such matters on our own terms and come hopefully to peace about them.
Do not worry about me or anyone else on this venue when thinking and making your decision. Just stay in touch. xx
Thank you xxx
All of us have stories. What can we offer to help her keep her anxiety under control at the moment to help her?
Hi,Tink! I am concerned about her anxiety and the way it can be a sneaky villain creeping into her judgment and worry. Whether or not the rest of us succeeded is great information, but she is needing some hard core support on how to handle her anxiety while she is trying to figure this all out.
One baby is difficult enough; two at a time...well...??? And she loves and lives with the father of these children, who does have a say emotionally ,if not legally, in her decision.
Hollie,
We are here to listen and support you. How is your anxiety level, and have you talk with your SO about this.
Hi i have severe anxiety general and health ! I have had it for years and been hospital many times ! It has started to get a little easier to live with but it is still here ! With all this going on i just feel like i am going backwards ! My partner and i were only together for 2 months before i got oregnant with my baby! We were so happy but my partner has mild aspergers and while you would never think anything was wrong with him his brain works different from ours so the forst 3 months of our babys life was extremely difficult. He didnt no how to handle the stress, his life now being different, it nearly broke us and our perfect family was far from that! We are in a great place now as we have just moved into our dream home but i dont work as im a full time mumm to my baby who is now 6 months old and my partner has just lost his job so besides child benefit we have know money and i am so worries about how we are going to pay our bills ect. I have just started taking cotalopram for about 2 months which has helped control the anxiety but with my hormones everywhere my anxiety is coming back. I am obviously happy i am pregnant but also worried as now just is not good timing xx
On a side note we all start somewhere. I started below poverty. We grow as we age and get better at life, finances etc. It will get better for you too.
There's never a right time for anything, something can always go wrong. I say go for it and enjoy your family while you're young. But don't let anyone pressure you or feel judged. It's your life and your body, do whats best for you x
I have never told anyone this. When I was young I had an abortion. Wow I can’t believe I just said that out loud. I was 18 and I got terribly drunk at a party and one thing led to another. I wasn’t ready to be a mother, I kept telling myself, so I killed my baby.
It’s the reason for my depression and anxiety and panic attacks and my multiple suicide attempts.
I am convinced my stroke and my permanency of being in wheelchair for the rest of my life is punishment for my sin.
It was the worst decision in my life I ever made.
Now I desperately want a child that I will never have.
I realise this is just punishment.
Whatever you do,remember this. It is a gift 💝 from heaven.
For me abortion is anti women. It is pure evil.
Thank you for sharing Jennifer I know that was hard to do. ❤️
Our personal beliefs on God and how God makes decisions really is not approved in this venue by HU, I think. We all have our personal relationship with religion and God. Jennifer, I am sorry you feel you are being punished.
Hollie has anxiety issues, She needs help trying to figure out how to make financial, medical and other needs if she want to have this child,
She stated she felt joyful when she found out about her pregnancy, then began to wonder what would happen as she and the child's father are early in their relationship and household together and money is tight; she doesn't want their lives to fall apart.
They love each other, but NOT married; two crying babies in the middle of the night, not enough money to stretch the food and medical budget, the stress on any couple is great. With Hollie, her anxiety may have a field day with her. What if he can't handle it and leaves....?
Think we should try to help her find ways to do that. What if she ends up being a young mother by herself fighting her own anxiety with a baby and an infant to care for? Think she has had all the pros and cons running around in her head and heart.
Please, if you know of some concrete practical help in caring and supporting two babies, that would help her manage her anxiety, do offer that info.
So perhaps that's the way we can offer her support. That could help her make a decision.
Thank you for this reply ❤️
Well first congratulations to conceiving a new, beautiful life within you! I, too, suffered many palpitations and was hospitalized for A Fib in every pregnancy. My last pregnancy was a huge surprise, as we were building a house. I knew my heart would act up and I can’t drive or work and we DID NOT have the money for this. And it did. And we survived. I was very depressed the first trimester knowing this but as the days ticked on I grew that special bond, knowing I had to get through the heart issues for our baby. Day by day is all you can do. Trust in God and try your best to stay calm for the health of you and your little ones. Rely on others and know that we are here for you. ❤️
I sufferer from extreme anxiety. I have 5 children, all very special and beautiful. My first one came I was only 18 years old and my second at 20. My boys are only 13 months apart. It was very difficult at times, but no regrets. I can't imagine the guilt I would feel if my wife and I had an abortion. The boys had a great time growing up together. Yes they did fight on occasion, but they also were the best of friends. I know anxiety is a problem for you, as it was for me. I worked at a garbage dump when the boys were young and at times thought that it was a permanent thing, but nothing is permanent and prayer and relying on each other will get you through. You have the miracle of life inside of you and you can do this. Look into support groups that may assist you and if you have family, don't be afraid to ask for help. God bless.
Hi Hollieedrige,
firstly,congratulations on you first baby, and you pregnancy.
I firmly believe that things happen for a reason.Have faith.
Maybe with the second baby on the way you would not have time to worry about other things and you anxiety would finally disappear.
I wish you well.
Please reach out to us if you ever need help.
Kyoom
I believe that we can share different ideas and opinions about how we conduct our lives, here, but, let's remember the purpose of this community is to help each other around our anxiety.
This community is also about helping
I had my first son at 15... I kept him I worked my butt off yes it was hard but even by my second son older and more settled still hard... My daughter came along and bam still hard my point is I really don't think having children in any circumstances is easy, but there is defiantly help out there for people. My son graduates this year and joins the marine corps, so no matter how hard it was he's amazing and I would never change a thing... good luck in whatever you choose.
love will go a long way - the fact you said you were happy to me suggests that you don't not want it. My advice is to concentrate on this feeling of joy - the trials and tribulations will come even if you had a million pounds and no anxiety and some anxiety is natural its what keeps us and our children alive just try and keep it in check with positivity - you say you made progress as well - take this knowledge and keep going forward - its easy for me to type this and not so easy to put into action from anxiety problems myself so i will only offer my thoughts about your post. The final decision is up to you though.
whatever you do I for one will be at the other end of the computer to help you through
Thank you x
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