Anyone ever felt like this? What should I do?

[TrippyMcGuire762]

So it feels like I am just an annoyance and burden to everyone I am around. I've always been the silent, introverted type. However I've managed to make a large group of friends and acquaintances. Well, I've had anxiety for about 6 months now and am starting to get things back together, yet I feel like whenever I open my mouth or say something to my friends, I just annoy them and that pushes them away. I also feel like a burden on my family as I haven't been able to work for these past six months, and have had to rely on them and what savings I have left. I feel like if I bring it up to them too, my friends and family will think I'm just looking for attention, so I haven't brought it up with them. Should I? Is it worth potentially making them think less of me? I just don't want to lose what I already have.

[Hopeful-Tinkerbell]

Ok. First welcome! You are for sure not annoying to me as I have faced these same issues myself. You are not alone. I believe and it is a fact for me that we are surrounded by energy. I have a very anxious, depressed mother in law who has severe mental health challenges. She is kind, usually, and I love her. I cannot be around her. Energy is contagious. It’s like feeling a storm brewing in the air. As soon as she walks in the room I feel the hairs on my arms stand up. I try to not let it affect me but to no avail. I can feel people’s energy as soon as I get close. I myself have severe anxiety and I can only imagine how that must feel to others. I am constantly being told “I was fine until you walked in or vice versa” I know how it feels when I feel others energy. I had to make myself a safe zone. No nervous or negative energy allowed. From anyone but me. So I can work on my energy and not have it made worse by others energy. It’s humiliating feeling like no one wants to be around you. If I’m feeling at all anxious or negative I avoid going to family functions or out in public generally. This has caused me to be somewhat of a recluse. I have no friends, no one. My best friend is my dog. She will sleep in my lap and my body just feeds off that calming energy. Then I give her a treat and I feed off her excitement, goofy and fun energy. For me it’s much better to just be with my dog. Don’t be like me if you can help it. If you are in the position to get a pet they are amazing and have the best energy which can translate into your energy. It is quite the commitment though. I don’t feel as lonely either. When I’m sad my baby lays her head on my face and chest and tries to comfort me. She forces out calming energy. I do not know if you are receiving treatment but if not I highly recommend it. I hate that people judge people with mental illness differently. I want to find a way to educate people on mental health challenges and destigmatize it. That is why many people suffer and don’t get help they so desperately need. If you had the flu or heart disease you would get help. Mental illness is a disease just like any other. People who treat it understand. Don’t be ashamed or shy. It is very important to have a support system just like any other chronic illness. This site has been a blessing to me. My family knows. They don’t have a choice whether I tell them or not. So I would rather tell them the truth than know they are making things up or assuming the worst. I don’t want to worry them. There is an unfair stigma surrounding mental illness but education is power. I recommend trying all natural methods before medication. Partly because of my bad experiences. A therapist can help you with that. They can help you get to the root of you anxiety, recognize triggers, develop all natural coping skills and relaxation techniques. Living with anxiety can be trying for sure but with proper education and techniques it can be done for sure. A therapist can also help you with talking to your family and destigmatizing it. At least in their eyes. I am so sorry you are having to deal with this! FYI: exercise and diet are the very best medicine for dealing with anxiety. So don’t shut your self off. Go for a walk. Take particular interest in all of the sights sounds smells and feels that are in nature or outside. Let go of worry and instead concentrate on nature. If negativity enters just refocus on your surroundings. I’m here if needed. No judgement zone! Peace and love! ❤️

[TrippyMcGuire762 in reply to Hopeful-Tinkerbell]

Thanks for the reply. I am doing CBT therapy at the moment. Its been helping. Its just I've had depression before all this started, and it's kinda hitting harder now that I am dealing with all this.

[Hopeful-Tinkerbell in reply to TrippyMcGuire762]

I’m so sorry to hear that. I know how difficult it is. Trust me! I’ve suffered a good part of my life. At least 30 years. I of course have good days and bad. I think we all do. Certain situations can trigger our emotions and already sensitized nerves. Holidays for example. I’m glad to hear that you are going to therapy. Medicine is a bandaid. It is used while therapy helps you learn skills to cope and heal. Wishing you all the best. If you need to talk I’m here. Best wishes!

[Carley]

I’m sorry to hear this. I can’t comment personally as I’ve never felt this. I do agree that therapy/ counselling will help.

I do work very closely with somebody that suffers with anxiety and she continually asks me for advice and questions what she’s doing. She also continually apologises and asks me whether she’s annoying me or anybody else. She messages me on my days off and I’m evenings. Even last night on a Saturday she messaged about work trying to get reassurance from me. All I can say is that she doesn’t annoy me one bit. Not at all. Part of her anxiety is that she feels she’s annoying people so maybe you’re not annoying your friends at all. Try not to exclude yourself from your friends. Pets are amazing but true friends are hard to find.

Wish you the best of luck 😀

[TrippyMcGuire762 in reply to Carley]

Thanks.

[HearYou in reply to TrippyMcGuire762]

Men just don't talk to one another the way women do. And you don't talk very much anyway. Men often sit facing the same direction; women talk facing one another. Men use fewer words and won't ask for help. Unless it's a team sport or project. Usually, want to try to solve the problem themselves. Understand why your anxiety is holding you back...lack of practice. I was raised with boys, , most of my friends through life have been men. Guess I was just "one of the boys" and they didn't feel challenged to talk with me. Knew I'd listen and always told them it wouldn't go any further unless they told me to. Maybe one of your women friends may be the easiest to talk to first?

[Jeff1943]

Trippy, your family and true friends are waiting to help you if only you knew it. That's what they're there for. So discuss your feelings with some of them, it's only your tired mind that makes you think you're a burden. If any think the less of you then they are not your friends anyway.

It is obvious from your posts that you are an intelligent and interesting person so I don't believe anybody finds you annoying. Seriously. You've every reason to have confidence in yourself, stop under-estimating yourself, that's your anxiety whispering false thoughts in your esr.

[TrippyMcGuire762 in reply to Jeff1943]

I know. Its just hard to fight back against it some times.

[Hopeful-Tinkerbell in reply to Jeff1943]

Amen! Anxiety fuels self doubt.

[Lostjoy]

I would say it’s your mind playing tricks on you. How do you see other people? Do you see your family and friends as annoying? Our minds tend to want to focus on making us believe we are not good enough and on and on. I always tell myself it’s only my mind. Most people don’t even think twice about anything we’ve said or done, and here we are dwelling on it, and worrying. It’s such a waste of time and energy, but oh so very hard to change it.

My best to you.

[TrippyMcGuire762 in reply to Lostjoy]

Thanks. I see most of them often enough. Or just text alot for those who are out of state. No I don't find them annoying. At least most of the time. Everyone can do annoying things. I'm trying to. Its just not always effective.

[HearYou]

How are you sleeping, cowboy? My 'chemist' neuropsychiatrist has learned from a recent psych journal there is something that may actually be better in the long run than previously rx regarding the sleep issues. I see him in a week. Will let you know what I learn.

From what you have written back and forth, don't think your personality would put anyone off. Agree with Jeff, since you have always such a self-sufficient man, never complaining or asking for help, friends, and family aren't offering as don't want to cross the line with you. Just ask or share with a couple of people you feel comfortable about opening up to...think you will find them ready, willing, and able to do whatever you need, and will not think any the less of you.

Hope you're settled in ok with your new place. xx

Oh, found a doormat for the holidays that husband loves and so do most of the "dudes" in the area. It has tall cowboy boots with a Stetson hanging over one. To the left is the inscription "Happy Holidays Y all". Yep, we actually have a lot of cattle, Angus blood, horses, and "Southern" cowboys here. Awhile back, met a fella who had a small herd and did his own horseshoeing. From his muscles, I asked him if he just preferred to turn the horses upside down to shoe them.

Oh, the law school I attended was Stetson, established by the man himself....and is first law school in Florida. And it was not easy to get into or out of....tougher than the state schools.

Take care and keep in touch.