I'm currently doing my final year of A-levels and have had family issues for the last year, i get uncontrollably angry and often feel very out of life, as though watching everything trough a tv screen.
i have also been extremely worried about dying recently, so much so that my appetite has almost disappeared and i have problems sleeping. i think i'm having panic attacks as if i think of death too much i feel as though i'm falling into a hole, i get shaky and my heart rate increases so much that sometimes i'm worried of heart attacks, its like a sudden burst of panic and it really scares me.
i've told both my mum and my boyfriend about my concerns but i feel like they dont understand me or they feel like i'm attention seeking (although they have both been supportive and encouraged me to tell them how i feel more regularly).
i just want to feel like me again, its been nearly 2 months i've felt this way and had bottled it up until yesterday. i also spoke to childline about my concerns and i felt much better afterwards but they couldn't give me advice other than to refer me to this site, which i have found very useful.
i was wondering if anyone could help me determine whether or not what i'm feeling is anxiety, and whether anyone knows what i should do next to help myself and to help the people i love understand me better?
m xxx
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em2574
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Hi M, Oh sweety you sound to be quite upset and as you have had a hard time with many things over the last year, I think it's maybe the backlash that's affecting you now. To be on the safe side though you need to be checked out by your GP. Print your question off and take it with you for him to read..just in case you don't know what to say. He will put your mind at ease, and come back and tell us how you went on. It will help others too : ) Don't be scared ...the doctor will have heard much worse, believe me ; ) and this site will help you all that it can. We want to help you chick? make that appointment and you among friends here xx good luck xx
Hi em2574. You have asked a question and the answer is yes, you do appear to be suffering from anxiety. If you have seen your GP and been told your problem is "nerves" then be reassured. If not make an appointment. At your age the chances of recovery are at their maximum. The feeling of "unreality" can be alarming. You feel as if you are no longer a part of the world and that everything is out of focus; you sometimes feel as if you cannot contact anyone, that you are alone in your suffering. (You ARE NOT ALONE, as witness the blogs on this site). Thousands have your problem and especially students who are under stress to "win through" their exams. It seems to me that the family issues you speak of have "sensitised you. Getting angry (with yourself?) is also normal with anxiety. At your age you have about as much chances of dying from anxiety as winning the Lottery! Do not expect too much from those near you. It is extremely difficult to know how people in an anxiety state feel when they have not been there themselves. (This is why you feel isolated). Now, try and GO WITH IT. Do not get in a FIGHT with it, Try and ACCEPT the way you feel FOR THE MOMENT, however awful you may feel. Fighting only increases the anxiety. Do as much as you can at the moment. This will all pass and be no more than a bad memory, but it takes TIME. Every day will see an improvement if you stop FIGHTING. This not something to be ashamed of and IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. Do not feel guilty about it. I wish I could be of more help because I do feel for you. If only I had known what I now know at your age. In a way you are fortunate (Oh yes you are). You have the chance to face the bogey in the right way so that, as you get older, you will know how to cope with YOURSELF. You will become self reliant in regard to your feelings. We all wish we had learned that earlier. Avoid like the plague the "pull your socks up" and the "snap out of it" Brigade. They do not know what they are talking about! Good luck. jonathan.
Totally agree with jonathan and ella em, the one thing i've found is everyone on here totally understands you're fears and what you're going through.
It is shame that the people close to you don't understand but don't give them a hard time, because it must be difficult to understand unless you experience it for yourself.
I think you should have a chat with your doctor and just explain how you're feeling and he/she will take it from there. Try and relax, you're going to be fine
This has really helped me, I've started telling far more people about my feelings and I feel like they are understanding me better (though me and my boyfriend had quite a big argument over it as he is a very literal and stubborn person and was annoyed as i seem to be going from one problem to the next at the moment and he just wants me to be happy all of the time) (however, its all good now as he understands that all I need is a few hugs and kisses and I'll be better in no time)
I find it very hard not to 'fight' the feelings of anxiety though, as it tends to interrupt with my college work: sleepless nights and having panic attacks in class are really not helping my situation. however, I'm trying my best and i will be seeing the doctor in the following week to see if he has any extra information that could help which I have not found on line.
Even over the last week my view to anxiety has changed, i used to be embarrassed that I couldn't control my negative thoughts but now I've realised that its actually quite a serious problem that I really need to address so I can get on with my life again.
Seeing an md is a good idea,but a psychologist may be in order.When I was suffering panic attacks I had young children.....I saw a psychologist I had meds as welk as therapy which helped alot.I finally weaned off drugs and rarely have any panic attacks now.I'm able to push through by making my mind active in other things.I wish you well....
Hi em2574. I feel I have to come back again in view of what you have said. To stop FIGHTING is not easy because it is our natural defense against danger. It is what we learned as primitive people, but, unfortunately, we cannot fight or run away in the modern world. (Well, we can, but it would cause embarrasing problems!). There is no longer any Sabre Toothed Tiger out there, just our thoughts which sometimes feel as if they are Tigers. Yes, it is a serious problem but not insurmountable. When the panic attacks come while you are in class just say to yourself, "Well, here you are again, I cant ignore you so I am just going to go with you, do what you like, but do not expect me to co-operate". Then get on with what you are doing with the feelings there. Do not add SECOND fear; you know, "Oh my goodness, I must get out of here, must escape in case I make a fool of myself". You won't. To stop fighting does not mean 'putting up with', far from it. When you learn how to stop fighting then the Adrenalin dies down and the panic attacks become less frequent and finally cease. Yes they will, but you have to persevere and not expect immediate results. It takes TIME. My very good wishes to you. jonathan.
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